"Hi all! *she smiles closing her eyes at the same time* Ami Kintaro 
here... you know that creation of Eldrick's." said Ami in introduction.

She continues," Ah... well in this I will not be appearing in" in softer
words," Oh that I wish that I was..." she sighs and continues just 
as softly... but with a big grin," What was I saying? Ah yes... in the
following pages you readers will get a treat...," she finishes...
smoothing her fuku to her 38-22-34 figure... red black hair framing
a face written over with worry and hope. She bites her lip lightly...
and sighs longingly.

A large shadow appears... seemingly behind you... though when you look 
you still don't see who is there. "Stop looking for me... only my shadow 
exists... anyway I'm Eldrick's Ego, and I do now state that I will have 
no part in these happenings once again. Adios all." The shadow vanishes.

Ami sighs. "Well," she adds, "at least Ego won't be there..."


Our story truly begins again...      Chapter Four

As I sat there considering watching tape one of Neon Genesis Evangelion
again. . . I thought of Ami. . . and well Misato Katsuragi and how damn
similar they were... no... are. Why did I want to see it again... was it
because she was SO like Ami it made my very soul hurt to look at her. To
see her acting and interacting with the world? Or was it because the anime
is so good?

No... deep down that was just an excuse. "Mustn't even look at it," I
mused, and turned bodily from the tv and vcr... unfortunately the quarter
turn brought me face to face with the computer... where Ami lived. No way I
could face her... what with lusting after another woman of Anime like I
was. Sure they were both fictional... and it shouldn't hurt at all if I
dropped Ami like a... like a...

No, I couldn't compare her to a sack of anything unpleasant. She'd done so
much for me. And was still helping. Sure I could write something up where
she suddenly realized how much of a loser I was and leave me. But what
then... write up something between me and someone almost exactly like her?

My hand reached for the keyboard... I could just type up something and
think of how she would think... sure I didn't need the computer to do that
but it was easier... Easier than just thinking about it. Easier than asking.

And so I turned away from the pair of them... sitting so close...
like how close the two of them were in appearance... manner... body
language... well at least on some things they seemed to see things
differently but the similarities...

I shrugged it all off and turned the chair around. Ignoring the issue...
like a bad thread on the newsgroup... maybe I should burn the tape, and
read that post Neo Atma made so that I could mentally killfile Ami. No that
would be wrong...

I tried to stop all thought... tried to not think... and my eyes slowly
traced their way down from the blank smooth wall to the bed... still unmade
still with things that don't belong on beds on it.

Once again the sadness clutched me... it made me remember how alone I
was... how alone I always was. Made me think that I'd always been lonely,
and always been wanting to fill that loneliness in the arms of a girl... a
beautiful girl... maybe not like Ami, or Misato... but oh I just needed to
hold someone."Oh gods above the need" I said hugging myself eyes welling
but long tired of tears from years and years passed... no tears fell, but I
was almost crying. I considered why I was put on the earth... why I was
living a life so. Parents untimely ripped away... father 12 years ago...
mother... but one. The Longing hit again... not because of the
reflections... but because during them I was staring at the bed and
imagining Ami beckoning me to a night of rest alone... nestled in my arms.
There was nothing ever wrong with me that she didn't like: My self hatred?
Only made her want to show me how much I just needed love to cure it. My
temper? It could be soothed away... slowly but surely... or I was blushing
to admit to myself... screwed out of me. The Longing had me on the floor...
writhing and sobbing... wanting to really taste of forbidden fruits... the
nethers of a woman, breasts, thighs, lips... her love for me. Oh the need!
Why would it not kill me? Surely it was putting me through enough trama...
surely my heart couldn't take it.

I turned to bury it, appease it anything... I turned on the TV... and
stopped... already all the scenes I wanted to see were unfolding in my mind

"Now why don't you go and take a bath or shower. A good bath washes all the
bad memories and sadness away," Said Misato... waggling her finger at
Shinji. Scene where I could see the need for a hug on Shinki's face... and
the want to give him one on Misato's face bright as the sun. Such a
beautiful face when she was worried about him... so beautiful.

My mind extrapolated the hair a different shade... rounded the lips a bit
more... the lightest... hint... of a tan. Changed the eye placement and
color but a tad, and there
 was Ami...
         same expression...
                         saying... 
"I want you to be happy... that is all that I want... if the meal is to be
our last ever... then I won't spoil it by begging you to take me back...
I'll leave peacefully... saying something to the effect that I'm going to
the bathroom..."

I remembered the shock of hearing that... and rushing around the table to
give her a hug... to tell her that it wasn't a break up meal... but to show
her how much I wanted her in my life... how much I needed her.

She'd told me that one day I'd meet a real girl and forget about her. I ..
could... only.... agree, but I told her how much I needed her now... she
mentioned that it was probably just for sex... I had held her closer
then... face buried in her hair... smelling the scent of her. That
wonderful never need deoderant or perfume scent that I sometimes was up
nights just breathing in... unable to sleep.

Perhaps I cried then... I'm not sure... I remember she looked around
slightly saddened and said those odd words...

"It didn't work?! But I thought this would get you to hate me. I'd even
asked for advice from other Anime Girls while out when you were bathing...
they said there was no way it couldn't work... unless you really... unless
you... Do you?" she'd asked worry written all over her face.

I don't remember what I'd said or did... but soon we were in the middle of
the most heart felt kiss we'd ever shared, and after a while we spent the
meal in silence... staring lovingly at each other... eating slowly...
staring... we both chipped in on the check... and shared the fortune cookie
that was brought... Ami'd suggested that only one be brought... so we could
share it's message...

I remember that that night we'd slipped out of our clothes, and under the
covers, and into each others arms. Anyone looking through the skylight
would have thought we'd fallen asleep in the middle of making love... but
we didn't have to make what we already shared...

During my trip down fanciful memory lane...

The computer speakers flared into voice,"Come back to AGFF... I have
something to show you..." said a voice like a crackling hearth.

I assumed my speakers were burning and swirled the chair around then slid
it out of the way. I smelled for smoke... the voice... chuckled.

"I am not an external, or real ailment of your machine... I am Lossoth the
Devil of Flame. I make enemies of friends. I make enemies bitter. I make
flame wars turn more sear. I am Lossoth... and I love your usenet home.
Come... see how I've fixed up the place... or do you want to wait till
morning? It makes me no nevermind. I'll get you and all the factures
of your personality. Your light case of MPD will become my M.ost P.ertenant
D.ata so I can use what you know and don't know about your aquaintances
against them."

I mused over acquaintances, and asked what it meant of that.

"Well not all are your friends... surely you'd like to see them...
@#$%BURNED%$#@ at the stake or some such," my monitor flickered to life and
ICQ was running in chat mode... and the letters coming on screen were
blinking red on a red background... which made no sense as ICQ couldn't do
that... but the icons in the systray showed AIM running too... and the
taskbar showed eudora running... I figured it's evil was utilizing what it
could from my system... in bizarre ways.

"Come to AGFF... your little be'fuku'd girlfriend fights me here even
now... and of course if you aren't careful... your precious Ego will join
my armies. Come... save your friends... save yourself. I'd offer you the
chance to join me but it would be pointless. You can not flame a spark."

"That's what you mean by Lord of Flame... of Usenet threats?"

"And you thought I meant hell? No... the mind creates more beautiful Angels
and more Hellacious Demons than a true place for either ever could. Come
warrior. Come priest. Come stealthy thief. Pick what guises you like... but
come... I want you to barbeque in my flames. Come to Agff. Come NOW! Before
all you know... and love... can find no recognition before you.



                                                         To be continued...

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