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[Aboard the Ship of Mediocrity skip to   =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= to avoid this
drek]

I know it's late to be doing a holiday special. So what. You can probably still
find Halloween Candy if you hunt hard enough... and it's Wednesday. The
Wednesday known to many as... January 3rd. In the year known to many as... 2001. 
On the planet known to many as... Earth. But I do hope you knew THAT at least. 
^.~

Anyone actually feel any different? I know I don't. Maybe if I'd had a mandatory
month off from work or something, I would feel the least bit different. Maybe 
then, but then again maybe not.

I'm tossing around titles... when I feel I really like one... I'll go back and 
change things around.

Hell I was 4 seconds from Demons and Drama. D&D anyone ^.~ And Daughters of
Darkness never really fit with how the Demonettes think. Dark Purpose...
check... dark means... check... Dark thoughts... check sometimes. But Truly
dark? Nope. Doesn't fit with them. For as The Universal Will dictates... "Anime 
is all about Love and Peace." And so we know that however dark the path covered 
in the blood and entrails of the enemy, that something will come around to turn 
that frown upside down.

Or make you look like a saint when you compare how bad they ARE with how bad you
WERE. Then you rise up and 'stomp dat evil' and -utilizing corny phrases and 
maybe even accents or bad dialects- triumph... erasing forever all that bad 
stuff you did maybe as recently as 5 minutes ago. You'd think Fame was 
measured in points or something. Then again how could you have gotten the 
training to 'stomp dat evil' without having walked a few angst ridden, excrement 
drenched, blood soaked, fiery miles of pain and agony?

Which leads us to our Christmas Special and Chapter 1 of the next Subarc!

<<<Looks like the Whole SubArc might be the Xmas and New Years Special... oh 
well ^-^ - 01/24/01>>>

Ego: Oh sure talk blood and decapitations... then bring up wreaths and
mistletoe.

What? Anyone who's gone last minute shopping has a few notches in the old belt
from removing shopper A from Item B due to needing Item B themselves.

"I railgunned that naughty so and so before he took the last bunt cake pan. He
had it coming."

But wait...

"... then I had a change of heart and made his cake for him. I felt bad about
fragging out his spleen. In other news the cakes came out excellent. AND we sang
carols at the rotary together."

Such things are not impossible this time of year you see?

Ego: Horse Pucky.

*a Menu appears:

Ego needs,
1) a hug.
2) to be ignored.
3) a good spacing!

Which?*

<Eldrick goes to the airlock door and opens it... Ego is sucked out.... along
with the script and a quart of raspberry ice cream.>

There. Although I'm shocked the script flew out the window... I don't write
scripts... or outlines...

Lossoth: Or well.

¬.¬ <pushes the Button again> <Lossoth is sucked out>

Peer: He has a point. <push> <suck>

Lag: WHERE GO PEER?

That way <points> <push> <suck>

Anyone else?

*A Pixie with red wings points to a guy in the corner* He's too quiet... he must
be thinking of something disparaging!

YOU THERE! Speak up.

Guy Dressed as an Evil Gourry: Me? I read the fic. Peer dismissed it the second
he found out it was a Self Insert.

<.< <aims with the ship's gun> Ready... aim... ZORCH! <zorches Peer floating in
space outside the ship> In space no one can hear him call for a medic. >.> <.<
Anyone else? *doesn't note that the Pixie ran off*

Joy: <Arrives in an Old Star Trek woman's uniform with some special touch
alterations. Captain Kirk would approve.> Now that all the spacing is done is it
time for the Sex Games?

But I'm not through being weird in my Outfit <poses in his Megaman/Rockman 
styled Hardened Flightsuit> I haven't even fired off the Buster Gun for no 
reason yet. I'm trying to make this intro segment a Total Self Insert Fanfiction
Extravaganza.

Joy: How so?

Oh the usual that I usually can't piece together how to do. Easy rampant
violence... vicious smitings of people who only loosely deserve it... firing off
high velocity or high caliber weapons... smashing a city or 3. You know that
stuff that BAD SI treats like it's sacred... or at least the riffers seem to
think so. ^-^;

Joy: <Glomps onto Eld naked as a featherless jaybird> But I think we should have
the random self insert fanfic SEX now. My warm body cries for gratification ;.; 
<rub><rub>

<has his helmet removed and breasts nuzzled against his face> Mmprh!

Joy: See? Much more fun. ^-^|/

<Blaster Goes off Randomly... premature firing jokes are discarded before being
made.> <the plasma burst hits the intake for the accelerator -paperclips make 
great anti ship weapons at ultra ultra high velocities... and the resulting 
blast outside the ship takes out a solar system that was uninhabited anyway. 
yay>

Joy: Well you blew up a solar system... city smiting taken care of... time for
sex now. <She produces a can opener from nowhere> Hee hee ^-^ Man in a can. 
~.~|/

KYAAA!!!!!

[IN ANOTHER PART OF THE SHIP at the pale girls with odd hair strip poker game]

"TASUKETE-YO!"

RuriRuri: Baka. <looks back at her hand> <reaches for a chip to toss on the
pile> Shimatta.

Mikage: I see you have no choice but to discard another piece of clothing. The
way to the chips-for-clothing dispenser has been prepared.

EveryonePresentWhoIsJustSpectating: Naked Flash... for the Revolution of the 
World!

Rei: If only I had my Unit 0...

(Girl from Akihabara who I have forgotten the name of -.-): My Patapi could play
with them?

QuakeRuri: B4k4^2


[IN SPACE]

Ego: On with the fic I guess... Mmmm... ice cream...

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                           Because I have nothing better to do Productions
                                     An Eldrick Tobin project
                              From "It makes sense in my head" Theater
                                        A story of The Arc

                                        Demons With Drama
                                           Track One:

                                        Shopping Rhapsody

Slowly he crept to the pool area. His intent? To jump off of the deck and thus
avoid waking anyone at all. So far he was succeeding. His destination? Tokyo.
Reason? Christmas Shopping.

.o0(Just a little further and I'm home free. Left a note on the fridge last
night.)0o. His expression changed .o0(I hope that wasn't a colossal blunder.
After all I want to see if I can actually pick out something 'from the heart' for
each of them.)0o.

He grinned darkly,"Certainly beats being Hero of the day with that stupid mail
server problem. Honestly."

"Eldrick?" a voice came from the far corner of the pool. "What are you doing up
so early?"

"Um... err... I could ask the same of you, Hope."

"You were talking in your sleep."

He blinked,"I was?"

"Talking about gifts and Christmas being around the corner... and then..." She
carefully rose up and walked ON the water.

"And then?" he prompted.

"You started... talking... well," she paused, and she reached close enough to
touch him,"You were obviously taking me shopping... and you came into the booth
with me. Your words were very... thought provoking."

He tilted his head not quite understanding save that he must have come off as
crass and horny. A Blush had long since suffused the whole of her body.
Eldrick's eyes went wide when he realized how he'd come to that conclusion.
"Hope you're naked. Did I interrupt your skinny dipping?" He had to control
himself not to just reach out and grab her.

"No I wasn't. In fact I didn't come out here to swim," she looked down. She
blinked and looked away when she realized she was staring at his crotch,"I came
out here to try to masturbate," He reached for his collar and let the steam
out,"Only it's not very effective. I have mental blocks or something. I get so
close I can taste it -figuratively speaking."

"Of course."

"And then I just stay there." She was quiet,"It's like I'm free climbing a
mesa... but just can't climb onto the summit because there's a lip such that no
matter how many times I climb around the circumference I can't find a way up.
And it doesn't abate. I also can't climb back down."

"Is it painful?"

She shook her head,"It's great. It's ecstasy in motion, but it's also tiring.
I'm using magic just to stay awake right now."

"Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Because I want you so bad I can't sleep... I just lay there... weak but unable
to knock out. I even ran a lap around the house. That didn't do much good. So I
figured I'd try to see if a pool jet could..."

"Boost you onto the top of the mesa?"

She just nodded,"Again I have some hang up. You could probably touch me and I'd
explode like a dam breaking. I'm having to hold back from... ripping your
clothes off of you here and now, Eld. I've tried everything short of waking up
you or Ami. I even thought about joining Konei and Gerard. It might not be
hurtful... but it is agonizing to be SOO horny you almost can't maintain
control yourself," she ended with a pause and a simple blink.

He smiled and tried to lighten the mood. You could tell this was not the way he
wanted to be with Hope,"We at least you haven't fondled the doorknobs." She
looked away,"Oh."

He carefully undressed. He could hear Hope's breathing go up a notch. Feel her
eyes on every inch of him. He'd never understood the desire any of them had for
him, but that was just a surface thought.

She cleared her throat,"Twice... on top... on a deck lounger," she spoke
quieter,"That's how I've been imagining it up till now."

He nodded and went to a lounger. When he laid down, she was there pushing him
further down as she used his shoulders to climb onto him. The look on her face
was ecstatic and content at the same time as she softly girated on his member.
She didn't scream a note when she came like she usually did, but light tears
streaked down her face as something had to give in to the sensations.

And then she keep going, and surprisingly she didn't orgasm again until he had
his second time. She looked ready to faint. He pulled her to him so that he
could kiss her.

But she diverted her face and whispered into his ear,"I want to go everywhere
with you today. I don't wanna be out of arms reach. I have to be near you."

"Hope... I..."

She began frantically kissing his face, "No I have to. You have to say yes. I
don't care if you are shopping for me first or not I have to be with you. I'll
turn a blind eye to gifts purchased so I can't be questioned. But please I have
to be near you."

"But Hope..."

She locked eyes with him,"If you say no I will take you into Ardice's room, cuff
you to the wall, and have you till Christmas and you'll never be able to shop. 
My magic would sustain us both."

"Can I talk now?" She blinked and nodded,"I was going to say I'd be happy to
have you along provided you remain tight lipped about the gifts."

"Oh Eld thank you!"


They got moving after the third inning. Again though coital she didn't orgasm
until he had. She said that that proved that she should go with him that day.
And a magical day it would be.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL

"Eldrick... we did not change. Are we in Tokyo Tokyo this time?" Hope asked the
man frantically looking every which way like he was expecting God to step down
and give him a wedgie and he wanted to make sure he wasn't snuck up on even
though if God wanted to give him a wedgie... His Will would be done.

"I don't know Hope, but um... er..." he tried to not look at her.

"Maybe I should clothe myself?"

"Yeah. I mean... I don't mind. But you don't want losers gawking at you and
reaching for their pants or anything do you?"

"I can't concentrate. Either way I get gawked at. Onlookers stripping me with
their eyes. Maybe for once I'll be clothed in their eyes, as they imagine me in
sexy outfits," she looked thoughtful,"Honest opinion. Do I sound odd to you?
Running around like Margo... masturbating into the wee hours like... well she
made me promise to not name names. But do I seem odd today?"

"It's the whole rebellious nature of not wanting to go in to work today. It's
going straight to your brain like the bubbles in a carbonated beverage. I felt
pretty good too when I asked Washuu to deal with her own students today... Going
from Art mode to science mode is frustrating... and I have a 'final' as Max
Sterling that's going to send the motherboard into overload."

Hope smiled,"Speaking of which why not just do the shopping trip as Max? Would
have been less noisy than bringing the car."

"Well this way if I bump into friends I don't have to explain what I'm getting
for who... and that I'm shopping for closer friends first. If people disbelieve
the Max Sterling persona... it wreaks havoc with the motherboard. And..." he
started before the aforementioned Uber Pervert landed on his head.

"Hotcha... fanservice! Tell me though... why are you not at least wearing some
panties I could remove from you?"

"Good Morning Havoc. I'm unable to concentrate on clothing production. Perhaps
Eldrick will buy me some and you can swipe them then."

The Perv gave his grin,"I hear there are sales all over town today. I recommend
the Silky Doll. Their new 'Simple Elegance' line feels really good on my face."

Eldrick looked up at Havoc,"I'll buy her ten pair and talk dirty to her while
she's wearing them if you'll just stop standing on my head. You and your
assortment of stolen undergarments aren't light you know."

"But it's so rare that the person I stand on doesn't get crushed into the
pavement. I must savor."

The Pedestal made a solid sheet of air as he quickly ducked. "There. You're own
personal landing pad. Take it and go."

Havoc looked teary eyed,"Your gift has humbled me... please accept these in
return," a pair of panties was placed on Eld's head. The pair was decorated with
little weapons of light... light hawk wings most likely. "They were Haris's from
way back before she came to live at your house."

Eldrick didn't know how to react, and was spared reaction by Havoc-chan landing
on his head like it was a perch,"Hotcha." He made her a platform also. And she
produced a gift that wasn't much. They were plain and cottony... heck they were
brand new.

"Who's were these?"

"Those? Why they are yours, but not yours."

"From a FicFic?"

"Omake."

Eldrick paled. He didn't know there was an omake,"Could you explain that?"

"Nope. I have panties to liberate!" And off she shot on the platform of air like
'she' thought she was the Silver Surfer. He turned to Havoc... and there was
only a dotted outline of where the Uber Perv had been.

"I wish their author would reunite the pervert back into one body. And another
thing... I'd like to know why I didn't know there was an Omake to this blasted
series."

Letters formed in the sky as all under the Author's sway were forced to look at
the sky like this was an episode of Thundercats and Mumra was being naughty
again,"You never asked if there was an omake."

ELSEWHERE

Inquisitor Dharm looked back up from staring into a monitor,"Someone get the
tape and some glue and Band-Aids... the 4th wall has been injured again."

Joy's M.I.R.R.O.R. , Rapture, was nonplussed,"Oh fun. What's next... is there
going to be a naked Zombie Polka Dance in Raccoon City?"

Prospect, Hope's Simulacrum, smiled,"You just wanna see Claire Redfield in her
tight pants again."

"I do not!"

"I know I'm just teasing. I wanna see her in those tight pants," sparkles formed 
in her eyes.

Rapture went wide eyed,"What?"

"Teasing again."

Dharm ignored them as he used the controller to make more Explosive Arrows to 
use against the Hordes of Undead.

It was a slow day for Justice.

AT THE LINGERIE STORE

"Eldy... this isn't someone's home and you aren't a vampire. You can enter the
shop."

"No I can't. Really. I can't go in there. No way. It's embarrassing."

"Then we'll just have sex in the doorway. I'm sure they won't mind."

Eldrick stepped into the Silky Doll. "Maybe I can talk shop with Mackie if he's
here," his eyes spied a mannequin sporting the latest in Be-Comfortable-Yet-Sexy-
Enough-to-Make-People's-Eyes-Bugout wear. Fortunately it wasn't a boomer so he 
didn't have to worry about it going ballistic over him blushing and drooling at 
it. Not that it was likely to be ANYWAY...

"Can I help you?" said a voice behind him.

He spun carefully and bowed low,"I'm sorry for drooling in your store."

"It's quite alright. Chaos sometimes comes in here. At least you're drooling for
the right reason," she continued when he continued to stare at the floor,"Do you
like the floor tiles so much that you can't look me in the eye? I'll have to see
about getting uglier floor tiles."

He jerked his head up and looked her in the eye,"I'm really sorry. I'm here with
someone else or I wouldn't have set foot in here. Sacred ground warded against
perverts and all that."

"You're a pervert?"

"I've been called such in more and less words."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Why's that?"

"You're maintaining eye contact and not allowing your eyes to drift. Or am I
just not your type?"

"Ms Stingray?" He was in full wigout mode. And he didn't know if he should
suddenly look over every inch of her he could see, or continue with the eye
contact.

"Sylia... you shouldn't tease him," came a familiar voice behind him. Eldrick
whirled... looking from one to the other. He knew FanSpace was weird... but BOTH
Sylia Stingrays working in ONE Silky Doll boutique in a partnership? He
suspected BOTH sets of KnightSabers somehow worked out of the location too. Of
course they were busy as all heck with all the boomers running amuck.

Hope stepped out of a booth in the back,"Could I get some assistance? I can't
tell which set of clasps to do first."

The long haired Stingray before him grinned at him,"You'd better hurry. Or I
just might snap her up. I know if she was my sister I'd be helping her dress up
all the time."

Eldrick blinked,"Oh we're not related."

"Girlfriend?"

"Well... erm..." He was spared by the other Sylia waving long haired Sylia over.

Long Hair looked back over,"Oh and you might wanna stuff those panties further
into your pockets. Don't want someone thinking they are a handkerchief and
snatching one to blow their nose in."

Eldrick did so then rushed over to help Hope,"The trick is to do up the front
first. You see these are the kind that are for girls who have inept significant
others who can't figure out how to undo a bra during a flurry of passion," He
finished the claspings,"There."

Hope blushed,"Do you think it suits me?" The bra was the lightest shade
recognizable as blue from pure white,"I picked them because they are listed as
durable, yet ... sexy. Something to wear under my fuku."

"Wow the tag certifies them tentacle proof or a promises to fund all doctor
bills and or un-cursings. Cool and there's even a tether line between the bra 
and the matching panties. This looks like a good buy Hope."

"So it excites you?" Steam escaped Eld's ears. "I'll take that as a yes," and
she walked to the counter after grabbing her hand basket of lingerie.

.o0(She could wear that outdoors and people would think she was dressed... or
about to hop in a mecha and lay waste to evil. Or aiming for the beach.)0o.

.(Great pick right? When you were mumbling I slipped a few words about an
outfit like that in. Saw it in the catelogue the other day.).

.o0(Darsh... hush.)0o.

.(Fine. But I warn you I won't help you pick something out for Joy now.).

.o0(S... Sorry.)0o.

.(Good... now... the light canary yellow chemise behind you should work out. Or
the pastel green one beside it. Hell both. There you're done shopping in the
lingerie section. Aren't you glad I'm helping you shop?).

.o0(I'll be extra vigilant hunting down Arshes Nei hentai for you now.)0o.

.(I love the barter system.).

Eldrick looked at the articles and could just see Joy's eyes lighting up over
them. Sometimes having the Nanocolony being aware was godsend. By Assuming the
persona of Dark Schneider... it was both powerful... and able to tap into his
more naughty parts of his mind. Eld had no sense of style on his own. "And add
these to the bill also. I think your sister will like them Hope."

The Sylia's smiled. The Short Haired Stingray spoke before finalizing the bill.
"We're getting in some new items just before Christmas. You might wanna stop by
again. For stocking stuffers and the like. Or should you get stumped for gifts."

The other added,"And bring some more of them by next time. Margo was it? Has
been in here a few times but we've yet to SEE any of the others."

"What she means is the descriptions sound enticing and she wants to have a look
at them."

Eldrick smiled,"As an apology for lech'ing around your store I will be sure to
bring everyone some day soon." He bowed and turned around and nearly knocked
into someone had she not dodged in time. Their eyes locked for a minute before
both continued in their separate directions.

Hope spoke as they climbed into the car -their next destination was far enough
that they couldn't just walk (and be done in time for him to get to his rather
late in the term final),"Who was that? You looked like you'd known her forever."

"Linna Yamazaki... from OAV Bubblegum Crisis. I think my author has a thing for
her. Probably played a BGC RPG campaign where he inadvertently started to fall
for her or something. Hey maybe they even got married."

Hope smiled,"There's a guy acting like you a little over there. Ms. Yamazaki is
trying to drag him into the store."

Eldrick looked over and sure enough some fairly boring looking guy was building
up the guts to go into the Silky Doll. He had a tax collection clerk look to
him, and had a child strapped to his back. "It's almost like watching Inaho and
Mosquiton... genki... paired with reserved. Or something." Eldrick pushed a
button to roll down a window,"Hey man it won't kill you to go in... If I could
you can."

The guy smiled and looked over,"It's not that at all. I know I'm going to be
carrying packages a plenty, and I'm psyching myself out."

"Good luck seeing where you're going then."

"Oh I'm just worried about dropping something and having Havoc Hiryu Shouten
Bra'ing me into next Tuesday."

"Extra Good Luck then."

"Have fun shopping in the mad rush."

"No kidding you as well."

Hope raised the window,"So next destination?"

"Planet Hentai. Joy wants to try for the Title of Queen of the Jell-o Wrestling
Pit."

"That would be my sister's Christmas Wish."

He nodded,"She's been dropping hints for weeks. Every day since the mail server
went boom and she couldn't just email in her application."

Hope looked pensive,"Do you want me to look into that issue tomorrow at work?"

Eld shook his head,"I'm sure with all the Author Avatars running around and not
getting their mail that the problem will be solved soon."

"I pray you are right."

He grinned,"Gotta have Hope and all that."

"Yes you have to. I estimate at around lunch time just before class."

"Hope?"

"It's building up like I'd been masturbating since our earlier encounter or
something again. I can't explain it."

"When you're nearly omnipotent... where do you go for medical checkups?"

"Headquarters could help. Prospect should be able to scan me. This has never
happened before, but it should be detectable."

Eldrick nodded,"So... um..."

"In a mall clothing change booth."

"You're serious? We'll get caught."

"My sister and I have immunities from prosecution. Some would say it's about
time I abused mine a little."

Eldrick was a blushing fiend once again imagining the throngs listening to them
have a wild time in the clothing change booth,"You sure?"

"I'm only surer about breathing, Eldy."

"That's what I was afraid of."

Hope suddenly looked around,"It's dissipating. Just as unnaturally it was
here... now it's fading. This doesn't get you out of your sexual commitment. But
it does lead me to wonder if I was sensing something nearby."

"Vampires? Wait that would be PMS."

"Thank you for trying to lighten my spirits. It's one of the things I like about
you. Even if you are upset you try to make sure everyone around you is happy."

"But I'm not upset."

"Yes. You are. It bothers you that while you'd love to be the hero and stomp
whatever attack is ruining mail... you feel you can't because people will grow
accustomed to just saying 'Well let's ask Eldrick to solve it for us' rather
than try to work it out themselves."

"Yeah."

"It's because you are approachable... and have some ability with your powers
that you are sought out. Avatars that are approachable but weak can't be
approached. And many Strong Avatars think of this as some kind of play ground
for their hormones to rage in. 'Hmm a sailor senshi.' 'Quick better have sex
with her.' is more the norm, than say a gal gamer writing a fic where they
meet Hatoka-chan for a date of blushing and sighs. Or on the other side of the
spectrum 'Oh look it's Goku.' 'Quick... better beat him to a pulp while all the
fly chicks are watching.' Or conversely 'Oh look it's Goku.' 'Quick better have 
sex with him.' Not all SI are like this example... but enough are to taint the 
results if they are included."

Eldrick Nodded but chuckled,"It's funny hearing you say 'fly chicks'. But yeah I 
get your point. Because I am approachable, and have some power in the fic... I 
worry constantly that I'll become some super hero version of a doormat that 
everyone walks on when there's trouble."

"A Courageous Prince saving all the damsels from their chastity."

"I wouldn't go that far Hope... besides that's almost an Utena reference," He
said as he looked over at Hope who was looking everywhere for something. "What's
up?"

"I didn't say that, and I'm wondering who did."

"Well it wasn't the car. He's too quiet. And he doesn't sound feminine besides.
I really thought it was you."

"It was someone or something speaking through a voice changer. Stop the car,"
She got out when the car pulled over just passed the intersection. There was
some honking but Eld used all his signals and gave enough warning. People were
obviously just frustrated by the Holiday Rush. Hope was ready for anything
in her combat fuku as she spoke again, "They were back there on the roof of that
car. A small body to judge by the vocal sound."

A Voice came across the intersection,"I am not small you loose moraled hussy!
God damn I hate Author Avatars and their whipped little sluts. Can't watch shit
invisibly because their always fucking around when not actually fucking around.
Makes me fucking ill. It fucking does. I mean FUCK!"

Eld sweatdropped due to the language coming from the now visible pixie in the
'Hell's Angels' Bomber Vest and 'Born to Frag' tee. Her red wings were 
sprinkling sparks on the car's roof top. He tried to ease the situation,"Sorry 
about the accidental insult..."

She cut him off,"Listen wanker. I don't care about your wimpy little placations.
You can suck shit for all I care. I was just curious as to why Mister Avatar
wasn't either blowing up the town wantonly or trying to save the day every 
second he got. But I see now you're one of those wimpy little wannabe perverts 
drooling over all the cute girls and flapping his tongue like a flaccid cock in 
the wind. So just spare me. I'm outta here. It's a waste of my time and my life 
to remain among such ass-rammingly useless company," and with that she poofed 
out leaving the smell of brimstone.

"Pissed little Bondage Fairy ain't she?"

"Oh go guzzle cum," came an irate reply from a magical mouth of some kind,"I'm
not some dipshit bondage fairy." The mouth vanished.

Hope sighed,"Well now that we're parked outside of Planet Hentai we might as
well go in."

Eldrick turned,"That's one creepy coincidence."

"If not for the disturbance we would have drove right by the only available
parking spot."

"Surreal."

"More like contrived," she said as she put her staff away... dematerializing the
fuku.

"That too. Reservation time."

"Will we be watching my sister perform?"

"She probably won't let us not watch."

The door girl droned that they were closed and that lunch time wouldn't be for
hours. Hope stepped up to her and the girl tensed,"Hey now no rough stuff."

"I do not mean to be threatening. I simply wanted to present these to you and
tell you that Havoc wants them," Hope said as she slid out of her panties to
produce a pair that were underneath her current ensemble,"He'll have to let them
dry a little."

The girl looked green,"Um... please present them to him yourself."

"As you wish," Hope said as she grabbed a new pair from a bag that was in 
the backseat. Two young women paused to admire Hope's view as they walked out of
Planet Hentai. Then the one in long flowing green hair noticed the short cut
blond next to her looking a bit too long and elbowed her.

"Hey what you do that for, Michiru?"

"You weren't just admiring the view, Haruka."

"I was just imagining doing similar for you."

Michiru almost might have blushed,"I'll let you off the hook for now."

Haruka looked relieved,"Where to now?"

"The Silky Doll. I feel like sushi today... and that must be wrapped properly."

"But lingerie is em... barassing."

"I'll help you try things on. And you can buy something for me for dessert."

Haruka coughed into her fist,"To the Silky Doll."

Behind them a voice carolled approval,"Maybe I'll find something nice for 
Chaos."

Haruka looked crestfallen,"It's weird to see a man dressing as a woman," Michiru 
quirked an eyebrow and Haruka ammended,"Well alright... when HE does it."

"Haruka-poppa, I didn't mean for HIM to wear."

And with that they left hearing range around the corner with Haruka mid eyebrow 
twitch. Sure you couldn't SEE it but you could feel the disturbances in the air.

Eldrick shook his head,"Poor Haruka. One day she'll have Chaos as a son-in-
law... if Fanboys! goes the way I figure it will."

"Well I know you'd have gotten along with my father," Hope said suddenly.

"Oh?" He turned and looked over at her.

Hope snuggled into the current panties under panties [Under panties under 
panties under panties -Broken Record Zin], "Yes you share a lot of the same 
interests."

"He must have been cool."

"Oh? Neither you nor he would admit to something like that."

"I mean to have 2 cool daughters. Twins in fact."

"You flatter me," She blushed,"Let's go in."

The door girl muttered to herself,"Why do I work at the weirdo emporium?"

Eldrick looked at her,"You could try for a spot at That Place where the girls 
dress a little more concealingly?"

"What Anna Miller's? Please I don't want people just going 'Oh isn't she cute!' 
I want people going ,'Man check out that ass!' or 'Look at the tits on her.' I 
don't want wussy little otaku blushing when they look at me. I want people 
blushing about what I could do for them. I've worked hard to attain and maintain 
my level of sex appeal.. I even go Variable Geo to show the world how 
hot I am."

"Then you're in the right place just ignore us weirdos and make passes at the 
hot people who set your loins ablaze. And Good luck in Variable Geo. I have some 
friends who compete in that."

"I probably won't see them then. It's just a hobby to show off and gain some 
extra cash to pay bills. I'm not THAT serious about it."

Eldrick winced .o0(How'd she get IN then)0o. He spoke then,"Variable Geo like 
anything else should be taken seriously... one false move and you're exposed... 
or find yourself winning by pure luck... and then you're in the higher leagues 
where pride gets dashed to shreds."

"Ha you're funny. Pride in Variable Geo. Man. You're an Otaku aren't you?"

"I guess."

"It shows."

"Look, I'm just saying be careful of the ones who DO take pride in it. They'll 
hurt you to further themselves and your body will show it. And you may end up 
driven to compete... making friends think you've changed and wonder what happened 
to you. That's not fun," He smiled,"See ya later, and good luck."

"Whatever."

MEANWHILE

"Did he see us? How can we shop if he's shopping?"

"Haris stop being so uptight. When else is he going to shop? We've all been so 
in his face lately how COULD he sneak off till today?" Charhon rebuffed 
indignantly.

"Since when am I uptight, Princess High-strung? And I'm not the one hanging on 
him lately trying to act like his little pet princess who serves him tea at 
exact intervals all day and offers him massages."

"Well can't you feel how messed up he is over this Mail Server nonsense?"

"Of course I can. That's why we spar so much lately. To work out his stress. 
Your tea is just sending him to the bathroom regularly..."

"Well I never!"

Astrala sighed out a little puff cloud,"Could you two please stop? We have 
shopping to do."

Haris smiled,"You especially. No clothes for that new form."

"It's not a form... I grew up."

"Yeah whatever."

"It's true... I only do things small still because I'm used to it. Soon I'll 
known how to do everything in my older body... and then I'll only be naughty 
when I'm small."

Haris looked at her funny,"Eld likes the little girl look?"

"Well he likes feeling he's naughty as a serpent from hell... so we still do 
things when I'm shorter."

"What do you play big brother little sister?"

"Yep."

"That's weird."

Charhon elbowed Haris,"What's wrong with it?"

"It's not real. It's just weird."

"So if they WERE related it would be okay?"

"At least then it wouldn't have any pretenses."

"Says Miss 'You can call me Ryoko if you want.'"

Haris shook her head,"He gets it right now. I love it when he says my name. 
There's real emotion in there like when..."

Charhon squeezed her shoulder,"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to dredge that up 
accidentally."

Haris chuckled,"We wouldn't have worked out anyway... he was a romantic. I'm a 
physical. He wanted to be with me all the time, and I'm more a meet once a week 
for sex and cuddling type."

"You? Cuddly?"

Astrala interrupted again,"Can we just shop?"

Haris shook her head,"We'll have to go to the next item on the list after the 
current one. He'll see us if we go in at this hour."

Mists swirled around Astrala, and she stepped out older,"One portal on the way."

ON THE ROOF

"Gala, why are you watching these idiots. Holy fuck me with a tent peg. Stop 
watching the idiots. Come on Gala stop," said Hell's Pixie to herself," It's 
like bad soap opera... stop it. You can't be this bor... Hey that's the main 
girlfriend walking into Planet Hentai! I gotta see this shit go through the 
wringer!"

IN CYBERSPACE [Basically - Thought Challenged Zin]

"When will he show? I can't take these boring stodgy fights. I want to see what 
leaves Lord Lossoth waking in the middle of the night screaming. I want to 
know what has Lady Malinara killing servants left and right in frustration. Even 
those flighty Fabrics are in a bind. What makes this Eldrick such a force to be 
reckoned with? Is it just that he's an AA? That can't be enough. I've 'killed' 
dozens in the last few days. Big and Small, weak and strong, none are any 
challenge because they don't think like I do," He rammed a fist into a virtual 
wall destroying it like it was never there before and couldn't come back even if 
programmed back in. Peer was having a true piss fit hemorrhage and he was taking 
it out on everyone.

Lag looked up from playing with a colossally large armored spider. The all brawn 
no brains net warrior watched his friend rend part of the well made construct. 
He couldn't fathom what was bothering Peer besides Tobin not showing. Mainly 
because Lag was more of a wide spread kind of net being than Peer. Lag attacked 
Everywhere at once. He was spread thin. Whereas Peer was the artist. 
Specifically targeting individual beings for connection nullification. No matter 
HOW fleeting. No matter the reason. He even has a 'speed dial' for some of his 
favorite victims. Lag spoke as the spider tried to chew on his hand -which Lag 
thought was just being playful,"LAG GET ELDRICK?"

"No that Pixie Bitch is still studying him. I say let her. She promises to share 
any and all data with us anyway," Peer grinned,"From the preliminary data I do 
have... the fic rules dictate that she'll probably fall for him. Then we get to 
kill BOTH of them."

"PEER MAD. GALA REFUSED PEER."

"Nothing wrong with a little sex among the minions of Hell. Lousy Tramp."

"PEER TOO BIG?"

"Assumed height means nothing. I could be as tall as the Super Gundam if I 
wanted. Or small enough to fit inside her."

Lag smiled,"PEER WANT CYBER. GALA WANT REAL THING."

"Oh Shut up. What are you... insightful now? Oh hey... new targets!"

"LAG SMASH LAG SMASH!"

"Not me you big... OWWW!!" Peer lay on the ground broken,"Medic program..."

A Demonic Nurse Joy [A Pokéfiend! - Catching Them All Zin] appeared with her 
little wings... little fangs... and fire red nurses outfit. "You called?" She 
asked with all the same feeling you'd expect from a NORMAL Nurse Joy. Yes... a 
semi Perky Fiend. Scary.

Peer suddenly launched to his feet all charm,"Why yes my nummy morsel. I have 
many broken bones and much internal bleeding. Heal me with thy tender hands."

The Program nodded and set to work, while Peer tried to undress her. "Can I have 
some of you too? A little sexual healing maybe?"

"I'm not programmed for such."

"I can change your programming."

"Futile. Just program up someone more willing. I have a job to do."

Peer growled,"Stupid Program!" And tried to slap her... she blocked and his hand 
audibly snapped in dozens of places. "Ow how'd you do that?"

"I know your medical file. You can't interrupt another process. Only interfere. 
I'm treating your wounds. That's a process. You could move my hands. But you 
can't stop me. Slapping me would make me lose concentration. Therefore it would 
interrupt my work."

"How about a kiss?"

"You'll be doing all the work."

"How about I choke you with Mr. Smiley?"

"That would interrupt me and cause me to bite down. Then I'd be treating you for 
a phallectomy [Vocab Word ... not. It's a castration... CASTRATION Mr. Author - 
Not Falling for the Author's Tricks Zin]. Then I would be paying attention to 
your needs. But at what cost?"

"Definitely not worth the price of admission. Groping?"

"Groping is fine. If it impairs me you'll get a little shock. Again you'll be 
doing all the work. But. Is it worth it to try to make out with a Mob? [Mob... 
short for Mobile. An Online RPG term for NPC's, monsters, anything that can 
potentially move. Anything that you can interact with that isn't an object, or 
part of the room itself. Object... anything from signs to swords. Room the 
directly described place you are in. In Diablo 2 and Ultima Online... 'Rooms' 
are vast. A World is a collection of Rooms and a Zone is a collection of Worlds. 
The next thing up from a Zone is the main game itself. Hope that gave you plenty 
to think about there... or at least time to consider what Nurse Joy said. - 
Creator Zin]"

"To me yeah. To this jerk Eldrick yeah... he has a house full of them. So... 
take off the blouse."

"Like I said you have to do all the work in such a way that it isn't interfering 
with MY work."

"COMPUTER... SET MOBILE NURSE_JOY_00 TO NAKED."

&& Compliance &&

And Nurse Joy received a sudden draft but kept working,"Cheating are we?"

"Hey... I ownz the server babe," he looked her over,"Oh man this is better than 
looking at hentai! Are you drafty?"

"Talking interferes with work," Peer got hit with massive amounts of 
lightning,"Shut up and grope." Her little Lum style horns crackled. There was 
plenty more lightning where the previous had come from.

"Yes ma'am... hmmm COMPUTER... COPY MOBILE NURSE_JOY_00 TO NURSE_JOY_01 AND 
NURSE_JOY_02."

&& Compliance &&

"COMPUTER... RUN MOBILE NURSE_JOY_01 AND NURSE_JOY_02. SET BOTH TO 
UNRESTRAINED_SEXBOT SETTING 6. SET THE FIRST TO SHY AND THE SECOND TO ... 
BISEXUAL. SET THEM AS ATTRACTED_TO EACH_OTHER."

&& Working... Compliance &&

And he got his little floor show while he was worked on,"Don't you wanna be like 
them?"

Nurse Joy looked out of the corner of her eye,"No."

"Man I love it when a girl refuses me. You'll probably remain online even after 
I tire of those 2," he sucked in breath,"Man you're thrilling."

"It's just because I'm the only challenge you've had all day," she continued to 
work.

"You got that right. You're pretty smart."

"The machine I'm being run on is state of the fanfic art."

"Oh? Creation date?"

"Pre-fanfic."

Peer thought about that. He'd never gotten the stats... he just came in. It was 
so unsecure it was a cakewalk. It must have just not had it's defenses turned 
on. He probably shouldn't have been able to get in here. He grinned,"One Dumbass 
sysadmin you have."

"What sysadmin?"

"No admin?"

"Self-reliant server. Power On and Walk Away."

"Bullshit."

"No bullshit. State of the Fanfic Art."

"So... what's the main process?"

"NURSE_JOY_00."

"You?"

"I fix what's broken. However nothing breaks but you."

"That's low lady."

"It's the truth. There you're done," Peer was too busy slobbering on her breasts 
to do more than nod, before she continued with,"COMPUTER... DEACTIVATE 
NURSE_JOY_00 AFTER SETTING CLONES AS ATTRACTED_TO PEER_KENTARU. ALSO COPY A 
COMPANION FOR LAG_CARSO FROM PLAYMATE_00 FILE THAT I JUST CREATED. GOODNIGHT 
COMPUTER."

&& Compliance NJ00. Goodnight NJ00. Shutting down command functions. 
Deactivating NJ00. Have Fun Mr's Kentaru and Carso. Initiating other changes now 
that they have compiled. &&

"Wait just a damned minute!" He paused,"Computer? COMPUTER... LIST_STATE. 
COMPUTER!"

ShyJoy tapped him on the shoulder,"Um... ah... would you like me to um... oh I 
can't say it."

BiJoy just dove on the pair of them. "Screw diplomacy."

Peer forgot about just about everything.

"Hi there. Do you wanna be my friend?" A little girl said looking up at Lag.

"LAG WANNA BE FRIEND. LAG WANNA PLAY."

"Oh okay!" She smiled heart meltingly up at Lag.

IN AKIHABARA

<before this was -1/11/01>

"Somewhere around here has to be some game he probably doesn't HAVE. And that 
he'd be interested in," the speaker paused as she rounded a corner,"Margo any 
ideas?"

"I may be dressing as Santa Claus this year but I don't have a complete listing 
of anything anyone might want."

Ardice smirked,"More like Kekko Claus," She looked around,"I'm so glad Konei 
hasn't realized we've left yet."

"She really brings out the Kiyone in you doesn't she?"

"Especially when she..."

"When she what?" Margo looked over at her sister,"When she what?" she repeated.

Ardice pointed her hand at a store... much like a puppet might if the strings 
dictated,"An RPG store."

"Low-tech? That'll be a great idea. Let's go."

Ardice shook her head,"What is?"

Margo put a hand on her hip,"The idea you just had. To find a pen and paper RPG 
for him."

"First good idea I've had."

Margo shook her head,"Nonsense... you just forgot Eldrick has gone spend happy 
again. He's either outright bought or preordered everything for the next 6 
months," Margo looked up at the sign again,"'Planet Dungeon' no wonder you 
noticed it."

Doom clouds descended around Ardice's head,"Yes well... let's just go in."

In a car next to Planet Dungeon, Mal... The Muse of Bad Fanfiction, sat 
gloating. "Ardice is so easy. Well I can leave the rest to Gala and her 
curiosity." The Muse grinned,"It's clichéd for this fic... but still I wonder 
if Gala will 'change sides'. I can't wait to find out! This fic is like one big 
bad episode of Voyager! You know what's going to happen but damn you just can't 
stop watching! Luc-ky!"

The man in the front seat just sighed,"Can I do anything yet?"

"Soon soon. You have to have patience my dear Sprint."

"Can I do something else in the meantime?"

"No you have to wait for the right time to act."

"But I want to act now. And what's with my disguise in the material anyway?"

The Muse smiled,"Gourry's just CUUUTE!"

"My hair is black... I can't be Gourry. Why not someone cool like Rezo?"

"He's not a swordsman."

"How about that OTHER early swordsman?"

"He's not my type."

Sprint blinked,"Oh yeah right I forgot you're not really a guy. Don't know how 
that happened. You act like that guy from Petshop of Horrors."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"I think it was. It keeps Lossoth away. That's a good thing."

Lossoth appeared in the backseat with The Muse,"What was that? I was taking a 
bath."

"In what? Soap and no water?"

Lossoth shuddered,"What's water got to do with bathing?"

The Wind blew and a crow cawed,"Nevermind," was all Mal could say.

"Planet Dungeon... cool I love this place. It's like the Anna Millers of RPG 
stores. Elves everywhere," he smiled,"Say... I could use a little Woodland 
crumpet... excuse me."

Sprint grimaced and pushed the button to close the door on one of TentacleBoy's 
tentacles. Lossoth caught the door and it melted in his hands. "Oh sorry I 
forgot about those."

Lossoth glared,"Like hell you did."

"Well they'd survive."

"It's not like they are firmly attached! Like you I was born limited. Just one 
small insignificant barely able to piss with tally whacker."

"Uh huh," Sprint wasn't amused.

"Then I found out about grafting spells," Lossoth scowled,"Only I can only 
concentrate well enough to fully control 4. I wanted more."

"A tragedy. Now could you let go of the door?"

"When your other testicle drops maybe I'll teach you some REAL magick."

Sprint pointed,"Elf nooky that way."

Lossoth ambled away... and Sprint floored it. "He tricked me. It must be all 
that work he does for Mal and Lord Unpronounceable. Next he'll be trying to make 
people 'typo'. Please. Anyway... Elf Rape scene ahead," and with that he pushed 
open the door.

"You!"

"Me?"

Margo smacked her forehead,"Not him."

"Who?"

Ardice got tired of the guessing game,"What are you doing here you... thing 
you."

Lossoth looked teary eyed,"I used to let you ride my forest of feelings and this 
is how you talk to me?"

"Eld's got Darsh in him. Not you."

"Had to try."

"Why are you here?"

Lossoth looked at them, and then at the elf girls who were admiring them,"Same 
reason you came here."

Margo blinked,"You're buying gifts for people?"

"Hell no."

"Then?"

"Elf babes."

Ardice and Margo blinked at each other.

Lossoth crossed his fat arms,"Oh come now. I made you smarter than that. You 
didn't know this was a brothel AND rpg store? This place is where gamer dorks 
get laid."

"Ah so that's why you come here."

"Fuck you!"

"I have a headache."

"Take a crap and get a load off your mind."

"Why don't you probe it for me?"

Lossoth looked ready to lose his lunch,"And get pooh juices on my little friends? 
I think not," he shuddered,"Only Malinara makes me do THAT. I won't for anyone 
else."

Margo grinned,"That's not what Tevic said..."

"Don't talk about that shapeshifter in front of me please. I have a delicate 
stomach. It can't take much bullshit."

Ardice nodded,"Explains the scowl... you can't stand you."

Lossoth closed his smouldering eyes,"What are you dikes here for?"

"We're shopping for Eldrick."

"Ah the take home package for Rent An Elf eh?"

They looked at each other,"Don't you think he gets enough sex?" Margo countered.

Lossoth counted,"Even with those other 3 and their new friends that's only... 
lessee... six plus five, plus... 2... err 3 I'm sure he's banging Washuu... that 
boomer he stole rides it I bet... that's 15... if he had a tentacle he'd 
probably bang himself..."

"Know from experience do you?"

"Bite me."

"You don't taste good."

Some elf girls giggled. One said maybe he should be cooked first. Lossoth glared 
at them,"Don't make me rent all of you."

"You couldn't take six I see dozens here."

"I'd let friends deal with the one's I couldn't. Anyway... 6 ain't enough. Why 
do you think I tossed you at him hoping he'd kill you? You're all boring."

Ardice looked at Margo,"All the work WE put into the multifaceted relationship 
and WE were boring. Man are we sooo better off with Eld."

"Bah you're all just wowed by his Avatarishness. IF his Author gives up on the 
fic you'll be back to normal and with me... though you'll have to beg your way 
into the sack. Nothing more hard to take than a boring lay."

Margo and Ardice chimed in with,"We know."

Margo imitating Lossoth,"Oh you like that don't you?" She rolled her eyes,"No I 
didn't. Tentacles on breasts... tentacles in me... tentacles down my throat. You 
had NO original sexual ideas did you?"

Ardice nodded,"Right. It's like only knowing how to bunt in baseball. It'll get 
you around the bases eventually... but it's DULL. And don't start with how you 
made us like we are to spice things up. It only spiced it up for YOU. We were 
bored."

Margo started flirting with one of the Elves to get her mind off Slobboth,"Does 
your perkiness end with your personality my little flower?"

The elf countered,"Maybe."

"I have such sights I could show you. Pleasures you didn't even know were 
available to you that, like arms, would pull you into them and embrace you like 
a daughter thought lost at sea."

"I... I..."

"Shhh... don't talk. We'll have plenty of time for that later. Right now I want 
to lose myself in your eyes and taste those lips that men and dwarves go to war 
over having tasted." Rose petals danced in the air around Margo and the elf she 
had enchanted with her words as they kissed.

"T... take me."

"As you wish," And Margo began undressing the girl then and there. No one was 
protesting who was watching. After all... how often do you get to watch an EXPERT 
slowly and delicately work their magic. One girl was taking notes rapidly.

Lossoth's jaw was almost to the floor. He recovered quickly by sucking in his 
breath... and a rose petal. He then sauntered over to the Cashier and said,"Give 
me the best girl you have to offer."

The Cashier nodded,"I have a real treat... for your tastes. She just signed on 
yesterday. She even read and understood the subclause about YOU. Kanaetalina... 
come down. You have a customer," And there was a crash upstairs,"Someone get 
their eyes off of those two and get ready to catch her just incase."

"I'm... I'm... oh dear... I'm on my way," and a blur of motion darted out of one 
of the rooms along the balcony... but it didn't correct for the handrail and 
suddenly flailing arms signaled the loss of balance. Over the edge she 
tumbled. "HELP!!!"

Shouting,"Come to Daddy!" Lossoth snaked out a tentacle and grabbed her right 
out of the air. As he retracted it the other tentacles started growing back to 
normal size. Apparently... the length gain of one was the loss in stature of the 
others. [Design flaw? - Medically Detached Zin]

"You saved me... I'll... I'll stay with you after my curfew in reward. I do have 
to be back by sunrise though."

"I don't offer breakfast anyway. Lords of Hell don't have to."

"Wow... Hell. I was there once as part of an Adventuring party," she said as her 
tail curled this way and that.

Lossoth ran a tentacle along her ear,"I see Elven ears and a catgirl's tail. 
What's up with that?"

She blushed,"My mother was a catgirl and my father was an Elven Cleric. He 
thought my mom was possessed when she wandered into the village trees and tried 
to exorcise the bad spirits from her. In her tribe such things were done before 
courtship to make sure everyone was in their right mind and that no one was 
being controlled."

"So she jumped him?"

"In her tribe Clerics are immune to possession so she figured he was safe. And 
he was old so she figured he'd been searching for years for someone who wasn't 
possessed. They were married the next day. Some funny business about celibacy 
unless married or something with dad's religion."

Lossoth yawned.

She smiled,"So... how about your place? I've only being with Molestation Vines 
before so I'm new to the tentacle scene. But you look really really skilled so 
you'll teach me all about it."

Lossoth looked at the cashier,"Man you know how to pick them. And I do so love 
her Aerith costume. So have you changed your policy or is it still," he grinned 
at the stupid crass joke he was about to say,"Pump first then pay?"

"Bingo."

"Right then can I add the current Dungeon to the list? I heard there are some 
kick adventures in it."

The Cashier frowned and pointed. Ardice was thumbing through it and looked ready 
to buy it.

Lossoth sighed,"What can you do? I'll just backorder it. Me and the honey gotta 
runny."

Kanaetalina tapped him on the shoulder,"Um... do you like cunnilingus?"

"Not if you taste like fish."

She stuck her tongue out at him,"If I did I'd eat myself. And I can reach."

"Tone down the perkiness," was all he said before poofing them both to Hell.

Ardice approached the cashier,"Has Eldrick Tobin been in here? I wanna know if 
he bought this already."

"Eldrick... oh! Eldrick Tobin. No he hasn't been in here in... wow. That's a 
long time. So I doubt he has that yet. It's been an age since he's been in here. 
Last time he mentioned some girl moving in with him. Guess he didn't want Elven 
temptations from getting the best of him, and making her break off whatever they 
had."

"Have."

"Oh? You related or something?"

"'Only,' as Lossoth would say,'By injection.'"

"Quoting Lossoth eh? Only 2 out of every 3 girls he takes home are ever sane 
afterwards. They end up being personal toys for him. I keep asking him to take 
them home, for one I'm even willing to pay HIM to take her. Her family gave her 
up. And she drinks like a fish!"

"Oh fun," she said slapping the magazine down.

"Yeah I know. Puts Naga to shame," the cashier noticed the mag on the 
counter,"You said Eld's name. I know about his credit line."

"But this is a gift. I have to pay for it."

"He's shopped for Christmas gifts for himself before... way back when."

"Eld..."

"Yeah I once got the girls to pick some things out for him and present them. 
Just so he wouldn't be shopping for himself. He just about cried. I assume 
things aren't like that anymore with him?"

"Heaven's no," she smiled and stared into space,"He's actually got too many 
others to worry about usually to just mope around like that."

"Others?"

"You didn't overhear?"

"I only can hear what I look at, or if it's going to endanger me then I'd hear 
it."

"Well Lossoth sent us, His once prized sex... slaves," the cashier winced and 
looked at the Elf girls,"and elite guard, to kill Eldrick. It... well... failed 
really quickly."

"He kicked your asses?"

"In a way. You see usually before a mission we'd 'innoculate' ourselves against 
human pheromones. That day I don't know what got into us. Maybe deep down we 
expected to lose, and wanted to savor the distraction of a nice boring guy's 
pheromones."

"So what happened?"

"We had a great plan. Infiltrate by taking disguises. Pummel him with our 
pheromones to lull him... then pounce," she blushed,"But plans don't last after 
the first step is taken," she blushed harder, and one of the girls handed her a 
glass of water. After thanking her she continued,"Well anyway... the pummeling 
backfired majorly. Ours set him to making more... which made us make more... and 
on and on. Soon none of us could take it anymore.

"Right about then the people 2 of us were impersonating..."

"How big WAS this Elite Force?"

"Oh... 6 of us. All Demonettes. So anyway..."

One of the girls chimed in,"Demon... ettes?"

Ardice sighed,"Created Demons."

"Aren't all demons created?"

The Cashier smirked,"Fawn... stop it."

Ardice waved it off,"No it's okay," she smiled at the girl -who blushed in a way 
that said guys weren't on her menu. Ardice blinked then went back to 
lecturing,"Like I was saying. The Created. Multiple types of magicks were used 
then a sort of DNA like template was mixed in."

Fawn interrupted again,"Like cloning?"

Ardice considered,"That's as near as I think you could get with just science. 
Demon material was scripted with certain characters from Anime, fused with the 
template via magic, and forced to harden like an egg. A while later we 6 hatched 
from those."

"But you don't LOOK any different from a normal Anime girl. You don't have a 
yohimbe or anything do you?"

"No and not a vagina dentata either," Ardice laughed,"No just wings."

"I've performed a thorough study. I don't see any."

"We can all hide them from sight to better blend in."

"But you look like Anime characters who are established."

Ardice shrugged,"We only failed the one time," she lied,"And It's been a fun 
failure so far."

"Fun? You mean all 6 of you... have... I mean you..."

"There's a schedule for who gets him when. Without it the whole house might get 
frustrated. Eld's kinda shy."

The Awww's went up. The cashier looked confused,"So Even though he has that 
other girl, she and he BOTH are okay with all this?"

"Actually there's two others too," She sighed,"Yeah. It's confusing to me too. 
Probably something like,'You can bed who you want to provided you _come home_ to 
me.' I don't think relationships like that can live outside of Anime though. Or 
maybe it's who's involved. We sisters are used to sharing one man. The 2 other 
sisters seem to be happy enough to have him at all... even if they were sharing 
him with a full army of girls. And the girl who lead to him not coming here 
anymore shares this daunting near perfect love with him. Like I said in my 
example."

"Only in Anime."

"Yeah I know."

"Doesn't bother you?"

"I have my own reasons for liking him. I don't feel I HAVE to tie him to a wall 
and slowly MOLD him into someone I could like. Like my last boyfriend. I had to 
give HIM a spine and everything. Eld I just feel I can take at face value. There 
he is... say hi to him... make him blush every now and then... remember he's 
ticklish. As complicated as it should be it isn't. I can't explain."

"And the girl on the floor with Desdreina?"

"You'd have to ask my sister yourself."

"Can't right now she's got her mouth full."

"True."

Margo came up for air,"Ask me when I come back with my sister tomorrow. Charhon 
has to have this one. I could savor this girl for years and not get tired of 
her. Charhon MUST experience her. My neko must know this joy."

The cashier sweatdropped,"Appointment logged... but you said sister?"

Ardice shrugged,"What's a little incest between clutch mates?"

"Usually a big deal. Well not birds... but you aren't birds."

"True. But there's worse in the universe. No matter how far you travel. No 
matter what you do. There is always something worse. However there isn't always 
something better. I suppose that's to make the heroes busy and the bad guys 
plentiful."

"Right... so I put this... today and tomorrow's sessions all on Eldrick's 
account?"

Margo gave a thumbs up. Somehow she could hear. Even with how much noise she was 
making the girl utter.

The cashier looked worried,"And if Margo breaks her forever?"

Ardice looked over,"We'll burn that bridge when we get there. Is she straight, 
bi, gay, or other?"

"She signed on last month... her application just said,'Lost in Variable Geo 
competition.' And with all the computer games coming out not a lot of people have 
been coming in here. Damned Diablo 2 and Baldur's Gate 2."

Ardice looked at the girl again,"In the new variant rules?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Oh just a bad feeling that's been brewing for a while," Ardice smirked, 
"Margo... lots more shopping to do... and we still have to make it look 
like we've been home all day. Hurry up."

Margo quasi nodded and suddenly Desdreina had one of those earth shaking orgasms 
that normally Other Planar Horrors and worse would get destroyed over. And then 
the pure moment of absolute pleasure was over. Sweat had turned to steam on the 
pair of them. Elf Girls were looking at Margo like she was a goddess sent to 
them from on high to whisk them off to the lands of tumultuous sex.

Margo bent over and grabbed the girl's hand hoisting her to unsteady feet. Margo 
gently brushed hairs on the girls face to un mat them. She then kissed her 
soundly up against one of the pillars holding up the balcony in the 
Inn/Brothel/RPG Store. Then she broke away and spoke,"Only one has ever so 
impressed me before... and you meet her tomorrow. Be ready."

"O... kay. I think I'm going to faint."

"Someone be a darling and catch her for me. I don't think she can stand on her 
own."

Fawn walked over,"I've got her."

"I'm ready to go now sis."

Ardice smirked,"Took you long enough. I had to give a whole lecture to eat 
time."

"Forgive me? Please."

"Oh alright."

Fawn tried to catch Ardice's attention, and hold onto the now asleep 
Desdreina,"Um... excuse me."

Ardice looked over,"Hmm?"

"Will... uh..." She took a breath,"Will you be coming in tomorrow too?"

"I like guys Fawn."

"Just this once?"

Ardice looked ready to rebuff her but when she looked at the girl. Ardice's as 
yet unspoken words must have been plain on her face. Fawn broke into gentle 
tears and looked ready to run. Ardice admired the ground for a second before 
walking over to her.

"How about I come back after I'm done shopping," she said as she placed her 
hands on Fawn's shoulders. New tears welled up, and Ardice leaned forward and 
kissed them away,"Tears just don't look good on you."

Fawn blushed,"I thought you were going to suck my eyes out."

Ardice chuckled,"Brains... Brains..." She kissed the girl's hand like a noble 
lord and spun on her heel and out the door. Outside Margo found her panting on 
the other side of a poster. "I'll... need pointers for later."

Margo shook her head,"You've been with Konei before."

"Konei would get off to a postage stamp being stuck down there. Besides that was 
on a bet. This is real."

"Well I can't rescue a 'Prince'... maybe a princess... but that's not you 
'Tenjou-san'"

Ardice paled,"Is THAT where I got that?"

"Of course. And here I thought you were paying attention to Juri."

"That's your bag. I was thinking what fun it would be to turn the tables on 
_Akio_ and put him on my wall. See what I can make him into."

"Yes world. This girl is twisted. Let's go. There's more shopping left to do."

"Yeah..."

Margo smiled,"Before the entire cast of this fanfic ends up lesbians."

"Oh ha ha."

"Oh you know you want her BAD."

"I do not! I was consoling a soul in agony."

"Yeah sexual agony. She hasn't gotten any in 2 months at least."

"I don't need to know."

"Uh huh... shall I ask Eld or are you going to?"

Ardice blinked,"For what?"

Margo smiled,"For a bokken silly. A Prince has to have a sword to duel in the 
arena of lust."

"I'm not listening la. la. la. To Silky Doll we go... la. la. la. Presents for 
our sisters tra. la-la. la. la."

Margo chuckled and lead the way.

IN HELL

"Mo... More... oh yeah. Moremoremoremoremore! YES YESSS!!!" went the half 
catgirl in the brazier lit room.

"What are you... a sexual black hole?"

[Hello... Zin here. We at The Arc understand you may have sexual desires and 
needs above and beyond the fic's actual content. To this end soon there WILL be 
an elaboration on the above Lossoth and the Half Elf scene. It's not included 
HERE because many find tentacles offensive. There will be other such -
subchapters- in the future as need and author perversion dictates. Thank you - 
Disclaimer And Information Zin]

[Here's the link -Coughing Fit Zin]

AT THE MALL

<All before this is 1/12/01 or earlier>

"Excuse me Miss but why are you taking your clothes... if those are indeed 
clothes... off in the middle of the store?" An attendant rushed over to them and 
asked.

Hope withdrew her staff from hammerspace and shoved it at the inquisitive clerk, 
"My Identification."

The girl eyed it -awed at it's simple splendor. "'The bearer is or is a deputy 
of the Incarnation of Hope. When in pursuit of job related things they have ALL 
right of action. Should you have questions about this License to do whatever, 
please call...' Why'd you make me read that?"

"To tell you to cease and desist from interrupting me," The girl blinked,"Now... 
me and the man behind me are going to have sex in one of your changing booths. 
You are not to interrupt. You are also not allowed to compensate yourself for 
your own benefit without my or his prior consent. Now, do you wish to compensate 
yourself or be compensated by us for this breech of your normal store policy?"

"Compensate?"

Hope blinked,"Yes. Copies of the video I will be making... hooking up a monitor 
and allowing people to watch us... making customers pay to listen to us... OR us 
paying you for any lost revenue now or in the future due to lack or glut of 
costumers. Irregardless we will pay you for any damage to the booth not that 
any is expected. What are your compensatory terms if any?" Hope was now naked 
again and placing her outfit in hammerspace. A bounding Uber Perv came by to 
take his next panty delivery... and relieve the attendant of hers as well. Did I 
mention soon the whole mall had a draft too -as females of the nearly whole age 
spectrum found themselves without their panties.

After the clerk got over her draft she asked,"I can't get you to not to at all?"

"All right of action is mine."

"This like some pervy license to kill?"

Hope shook her head,"That's revocable."

The girl blanched and looked like she'd rather be run over,"I know it doesn't 
matter but can I clear this with the manager anyway."

"All right," The girl started walking away as a male patron 'accidentally bumped 
into Hope and got a quick feel in. Hope just looked at him, as Eld behind her 
got ready to give him a floor to ceiling vertical ventilation. The feel was more 
like a grope by a man who was used to just doing as he pleased -else Eld would 
let Hope handle the whole thing. Hope called to the attendant,"One moment. How 
much is your front room window?"

"I think it's like 2000 US dollars just for the mountings."

"Then you'll just have to bill me," And Hope grabbed the guy who's hands were 
brushing dust off of her -which was all from him and planted on him for this 
purpose- and starting to get too friendly. She spun lightly. In one fluid 
motion as she levitated off the floor she sent the groper through the front of 
store glass. He landed in a heap at the feet of a mall cop. "You MAY wish to 
arrest that man. The decision is up to you."

Eld caressed Hope clean with thin threads of air between his hands. Hope seemed 
to have totally forgotten about the unwanted rake as she ran her fingers through 
Eld's hair. Eld continued to run the threads over her though he was increasingly 
aware of the audience.

It's disconcerting to see a probably normally very straight and narrow Business 
Woman and mother biting a knuckle of her hand that should be blocking either her 
son or her daughter's eyes from the spectacle. The boy was even pointing and 
asking mom what was going on. She didn't seem able to answer.

Eldrick rolled a fog in to re-moisten Hope's skin, and after picking out a pair 
of gloves on a rack tied the threads to the gloves. He then held up a hand 
before Hope asked what he was planning and walked through to fog to the mother 
outside. "If watching someone receive such a massage has this effect perhaps you 
need to experience this for yourself. There is a thread of air between the 
middle fingers on this pair of gloves. With the gloves on you pull the thread 
along your skin. Better than a razor also if you shave your legs. I wouldn't 
know I haven't looked. Enjoy." Then like a tan Santa Claus he produced 2 books 
of gift certificates for each child's favorite locations. "You can even dispense 
these to your children should you wish to use the gloves. Take care."

She blinked,"Bow to the nice man."

The kids stopped trying to see where the gift certificates were for and quickly 
turned and muttered their thanks. Soon after their curiosity was in full swing. 
The mother just slid the gloves away and walked off.

Eldrick smiled and walked back through the fog. He couldn't find Hope. "Hope? 
Where are you?"

The Manager of the store stepped forward. He coughed into his fist and said,"The 
Young Lady is in a changing booth already. Just try to keep the noise down." 
Eldrick nodded. "And could you clear the mist?"

"Of course. I had to wipe fingerprints off so her skin suffered from a 
drop in moisture," that being said Eldrick blew the fog away with a wave of his 
hand.

The clerk ignoring the magic show asked,"Why did you give that lady the gifts?"

Eldrick turned and walked to where he could see Hope's beckoning finger. Before 
entering he said,"I couldn't see a wedding ring on her hand. A pleasurable 
massage could probably do her good. There was a great sadness in her eyes as 
well. A dead husband perhaps," he shrugged,"Anyway we'll try not to deafen you."

The manager nodded and grabbed the clerk's arm,"Wait till your break for 
curiosity to peak."

"But they'll be done by then."

"No," he turned and watched Hope pull Eldrick into the doored booth,"they won't 
be done for a long time."

A small form descended from a perch near a sky light,"They're going at it again 
already? They only just had breakfast an hour ago! I hate this fic. Everyone 
constantly going at it. Where's the plot? Where's the suspense? Intrigue... hell 
where's the direction!"

"There isn't. At least not to the naked eye," said a man behind a multitude of 
boxes amidst a gaggle of Elven females,"With any story you can't just drop in in 
the middle. You have to at least skim around in previous chapters."

"Nice nice. Who fucking cares? And anyway who are you Mister whipped? You an 
author avatar also to be walking around with so many girls? Fucking all of them 
I imagine right?"

The boxes hovered over his head suddenly. Hell's Pixie expected a fight, but 
instead found a man smiling at her. "No miss I'm not. I am an author avatar... 
or at least I was. Maybe I still am. My Author gave up on his story a while ago. 
I persisted. I think I was GOING to be just another Author Avatar with loose 
morals and a penchant for blowing things up... but I never got passed being in 
Tokyo and having an RPG store."

"So where are the girls from? Elven Tenchi Masaki Syndrome?"

He shook his head,"It's a long story... started by renting out the top floor for 
rooms. Some tenants with looser morals than average started brokering their 
services for money. Elven girls misheard that it was a great place to pick up 
guys somehow, and started arriving in droves. Customers started hitting on 
them. Some girls accepted but with no place cheap nearby... they asked to go 
upstairs. It keeps the store stocked. The Buzz about the place has died down 
with the rise of Planet Hentai. And it's just as well. Too many guys come in who 
aren't worthy in my opinion.

There was someone pushing through the crowd then as Gala considered going to 
sleep over the boring tale,"Barathain! Stop talking! You do that ALL DAY! We 
need to get booze before we go back. I feel like a fine deep red wine... and 
that'll be your blood if we don't get a move on!"

Gala asked the man,"Who's that?"

"She calls herself Nulise this month. After a character in the current Dungeon.
Last month it was something barely pronounceable, and before that... well I forget.
I think she'll keep this name though. It really fits her," Nulise came charging 
up reaching for a sword that was left back home, "Here she comes now."

<insert nulise.description.src see note>,"I said let's move. You should be glad
my sword is back home. And if it wasn't at home you would be dead by now. Move 
it soldier!"

"She's great isn't she?" the guy sighed,"I'm not her type though."

Gala stopped preparing to fight,"Does she have a type?"

"I wish I knew. I'd buy them a nice house in a nice dark place or whatever. She 
needs to be happy."

"Gah mush... get it away," she said making to fly closer to the shop where Eld 
and Hope had gone before Barathain stood before her suddenly,"'Move it 
Soldier.'"

"If you get any closer you will just enhance her lusts and what not. From your 
actions you wouldn't like them to remain in there all day."

"You can sense me too?"

"Yep. Why else would I have gotten sappy about Nulise. She's not my type anymore 
than I'm hers. Incoming," he moved to duck and Gala blurred up to a skylight as 
Nulise charged over to Barathain and gut punched him at a dead run. No tears... 
just blind rage.

She glared down at the heap of a man,"Are you... done?" He nodded. "Then let's 
go."

"Alright."

Gala looked on,"He's glad he's an Avatar I bet."

IN THE BOOTH

<All before this is dated 1/13/01 or earlier>

The clothing was all on the floor, the shop manager had swapped out the black 
and white camera for the one Hope had acquired from Ami Kintaro at breakfast at 
Planet Hentai. Everything was in motion. All was ready.

Except Eldrick.

Hope was undaunted. She also apologized often and profusely. She couldn't stop 
herself. She even said how this was exactly how things had happened when Eld had 
mumbled in his sleep.

Eld apologized right back. He told her to go right ahead. It seems a case of 
stage fright had settled on him, he thought. "Don't let it ruin your enjoyment. 
Maybe I'll warm up to the mood. I can hear the whole mall outside it seems... 
and while I'd hate the embarrassment of a bad performance... I also can't move."

Hope slowed down for a second and looked down at his face,"Move... ment is not 
required," And kissed him soundly.

"I wish I could be like I was for you and Ami earlier."

"Yes. Breakfast was pleasant."

"The cheering got to me though. I think that's daunting me now. Praise positive 
or negative is my fear."

Hope stopped for a second,"Picture that they are behind a big thick wall of 
glass. It's one way so you can't see them. They can see you but that's okay. Now 
close your eyes and imagine. It's just you and me and this big wall of glass. 
People only walk by on the other side. There is no constant crowd. No audience 
to appease just the random onlooker who is pleased to see ANYTHING and move on," 
She resumed and a look started passing over her face that Eld was very familiar 
with and just incase she wanted to toss caution to the wind... he kissed her 
soundly as she had one of her nice normal 10 minute orgasms.

Or at first it seemed like one, but it stretched out. On and on she bucked. 
Filling his mouth and ears with moans of increasing volume. It was like the 
orgasm that would not end. He considered it a small consolation that his had.

"Eld you have to stop me..." she whispered quickly,"I lack the strength... to do 
it... harder."

He couldn't fathom how going faster or slower would stop anything but when she 
ran out of steam and her volume started going higher. He figured it just might 
work. On the downthrusts she was moaning quieter.

She already had her legs wrapped around him in a death grip so he only stood up 
and leaned her against the booth's mirrored wall. Eye's closed lest he notice 
the goofy expressions on his face, Eldrick started hard and fast. Sure he 
couldn't do that forever, but she was starting to look in pain from orgasming.

"Listen to the sound of my voice. Listen to my compliments and only them. Try 
not to think, Hope. Consider the absurdity of my words. Try to laugh instead of 
cry." And he started in with the lamest thing he could,"Ah-ha you like that 
don't you. Yes sir I'm the best there is when it comes to banging. Akio Ohtori 
himself asks me for pointers. You see how I did that there? I have a patent on 
that. Registered at IBM too. Because I'm such a love machine. I hope the camera 
is fast enough to see my next move cause if it blinks it won't know anything is 
going on. Ha you're smiling. You like Eld's Ocean Motion. I am the key to your 
floodgate of love. Girls all over come for a piece of my ride and you're feeling 
just how right they are to do so.

"Shit, I kick all kinds of ass in the fuck game. I even wrote my own book. The 
Kami Sutra. Kami? You ask what that means? It means God. It's the Sacred book 
of God Sex. Maybe if you ask nicely I'll put some words about you in it. I'm a 
Sex God I can do shit like that. Word to your inbox honey, cause you so good I'm 
going to have to send you some MALE," and Eldrick opened his eyes as Hope 
wrenched her tongue in his mouth. She was probably sick of the weird crap coming 
out of it.

She was almost giggling and then blinked and let his mouth go suddenly,"OH GODS 
YES!!! YES MY SEX GOD YES!!!!!" and her muscles squeezed down so hard on him he 
thought she might chop it off. She quieted, her orgasmic glee plain as she stuck 
her tongue out at him before saying,"Oh my Master. Can you forgive me for 
orgasming before told to?"

He burst out laughing and they held each other as fits wracked them both. There 
was a knock at the door to the booth. "Excuse me? Can I get you two to come out 
AS YOU ARE? I think you should take a bow and there's something I must discuss."

Embarrassed as hell to be reminded people were watching... and especially at the 
popcorn many had, Eldrick turned beet red as they came out of the booth. Hope 
was fairing far better. "What is it you wished to discuss?"

The guy in a plain white shirt and tie shook his head,"Bow you earned it."

Eldrick bowed at the waist aware of the pain that caused due to the little one 
having feared for it's flesh being fully inflated to fight the 'evil' vagina 
muscles. Hope curtseyed to the ground as if she was at a formal ball in Vienna 
in the best gown money could buy. Of course she wasn't and that was part of the 
point.

For the briefest second they probably didn't seem naked at all to the onlookers, 
but that faded once the applause hit. Some of the crassest comments floated 
their way. Cheers went up, "Hope's Funbags looked great bouncing on the video 
feed. Are they real?" "Yo smooth shit sex god, was that Viagra in there? If that 
was, I'm gonna get me some of that." "Hey when's the next show? I might buy 
something just to have an excuse to stick around." "Can you autograph my inner 
thigh?" "Can I snap a picture with you, Hope?" "Can I get a picture of me and 
both of you?" "Picture my ass can I be in the next show?"

Hope raised her hands, and began speaking. She cleverly repeated herself after 
everyone got quiet enough to hear her,"We are not professionals. This was a one 
time event. This was only an early Christmas present between us. Do not pester 
the management for tapes or the like. Also do not think that because we chose 
this location this is some couples make out location. The manager agreed because 
we threatened to close him down. No Viagra was used. Vita Soy is better for your 
heart anyway. Yes, my breasts are real. Tapes will be autographed, but not 
individually. Tapes, DVDs, or whatever your medium preferences can be acquired 
online or through mail order. The company is Cool Devices. It's in the 'yellow 
pages'," She said emphasizing with her fingers the quotation marks,"They will 
not have a copy until tomorrow. Further inquiry at this current shopping 
location will only get you a Cool Devices business card. Failure to just take 
the card and go after questioning will result in Police Action. Of this I assure 
all listeners. For those who do not wish to look up the address, please obtain a 
card from the barrel by the desk. After New Years this establishment will return 
all business cards, and wash it's hands of the incident or not at it's 
discretion. I am now going for what I loosely call my clothes. Then Eldrick will 
get his. These will be the last of anything you see from us here without 
purchasing a tape."

"Uh thank you for watching?" Eldrick said embarrassed and stuck out on a limb. 
Camera flashes went off when Hope bent over at the hip to get her clothes -out 
of hammerspace- in the booth. Eldrick blushed further when he realized some were 
of him. The evil man unit was still convinced it's life was in danger and was 
quite steadfast. Hope used one of the panties to clean herself off before 
putting it safely into hammerspace and out of accidental Havoc-grab. Now clean 
she dressed slowly to much camera flashing and video feeding.

Hope walked back over and nodded to Eldrick as she got out of camera path. 
Rigidly in more ways than one, Eldrick walked to the booth and following Hope's 
lead bent over for his clothes. Girls and guys let their voices be heard, much 
like when Hope had done this, and Eldrick just had to close the door. He worried 
he'd have a stroke or something from the blood rushing away from his heart. He 
dressed under the camera's eye having forgotten about it. The crowd did not. He 
heard Hope quiet them down, after he inadvertently gave them a closer look at 
the errant man flesh.

Dressed he reentered the world. Snatching up Hope quickly they got out of the 
local area, before things got any weirder. They hid out in a unisex bathroom so 
Hope could clean up a little better before another pair was un-stealable.

"Ah there you two are!" Came the voice of the Tie Guy,"Sorry about the crowd 
that's kinda MY fault. You see I tour the malls looking for couples being 
naughty, so I'm kinda well known."

Hope sitting on the sink and cooling herself with splashes of water quickly 
broke in before he went further,"We were not being naughty. We were engaging in 
light to heavy deviance when you get down to it. We left naughty behind," she 
said as she tugged Eldrick closer to kiss him.

"Alright... I look for public displays of love or lust... and reward them," he 
patted the briefcase with him. "Now... you scored about as well as a couple in 
an alley in a really small town I stayed over in. However I know they staged it 
for the local tourism board. Was this planned?"

Eldrick cleared his throat,"Not really... I mumbled something like this in bed 
last night."

"Ah you stay together. Married?"

"Uh... no."

"Any plans to?"

Hope answered,"No need to."

"Alright. Relationship?"

Hope smiled,"Can we lie?"

"I've already forgotten your names."

Eld caught Hope's twisted grin bug,"The more creative the higher the Perv 
points?"

"You better believe it. Even a lied,'Uh... she's my sister dude.' Holds more 
weight than say,'Uh... we're so close she's like my sister dude.' SO lay it on 
me. How brassy are your balls?"

"I have a tan."

"Kidding aside."

Hope nodded,"Alright... you want brazen," She looked at Eldrick,"Braced for this 
one?"

Eldrick gave the thumbs up,"I'm in unshakeable mode." The guy muttered about 
forgetting he heard that.

Hope looked at Tie Guy,"I'm his daughter."

"Stop the presses! Move over Lolita! Biological?"

"Correct."

"You look more on the level age wise than that."

"I was sent to the past and raised there."

"For this?"

"Oh of course we looked forward to it right Dad?"

Eldrick at risk of skipping a beat if he thought about it said,"Honey you 
shouldn't call me Dad. It's so informal. I'm your Father. Say it with me now... 
FA-THER."

"PLAY THING."

Eldrick smirked,"Close enough."

Tie guy was scribbling notes,"So how's mom handling this?"

Hope answered,"Mom is fully part of it."

"I'd better give you 3 T-shirts then," and then he produced them,"You can wear 
these with pride or not. Up to you. You've earned it. At least you two weren't 
just trying to increase tourism. Here," he handed them the T-shirts.

	'Look out! Perverts need room too! Or would you like to join in?'

On the front and:

	'One of the naughtiest people in Tokyo! And unrepentant!'

"Of course if these aren't exactly what you want I can have them changed. The 
fabric is top quality. And comfortable enough to sleep in. We've even heard that 
the shirts are strong enough to integrate into a harness."

Eldrick was just shocked at the gift,"What... no listing of 'cardinal 
offences'?"

"Well if you want them more personalized... I can have them ready by Christmas."

Hope chimed in again,"'Warning Known Pervert. Offenses listed on back.' And on 
the back 'Proud to have done the following' and a list of offenses with check 
marks. Please also list 'My Father' 'My Mother' and 'My Sister'"

"Can do. Wait sister? Got a brother too?"

"Eldrick's genetics do not lead to males readily."

"Sister live with you?"

"Yes and a one time assassin hit squad sent to kill Eldrick."

He dropped his pen he was writing notes with,"Assassin hit squad?"

"Six girls of demon origin," Eld reluctantly showed the guy a photo of everyone 
from LAST Christmas. Hope continued, "They got one whiff and decided they were 
home. My D... Father is irresistible."

"I've heard of guys like that," he retrieved his pen, "Can't keep the girls off 
of them. Normally though they are shyer... wait nevermind. That wasn't exertion 
painted on your face earlier was it?"

Eldrick looked more embarrassed,"Not really..."

Tie Guy laughed a bit,"And I'll tack on the web address... when you give it to 
me," he handed them a postcard,'Simple Guy in a Tie.' It also featured his 
cell phone number and a glossy picture of one of the shirts. He smiled,"I tried 
for normal sized cards but they didn't do the shirt justice and I felt fake. All 
that plain text. Well anyway I'm looking forward to that call!"

Minutes after he left, Eldrick looked at Hope,"Incest?"

Hope concentrated on her clean up,"It works for Margo and Charhon."

"There is that," He shook his head .o0(Hope as my daughter there's a 
stretch. Come on Eld... say something the silence is lengthening.)0o. "So 
anything you wanna hit right quick before I go for my test?"

"Could you suck the rest out? I think I've missed some."

Eldrick voiced his doubts that she would have, but knelt before the holy 
offering nonetheless.

AT THE HOUSE

"There... that's the last of the light up Nerf Penii. Glowing moss in a vial in 
a foam penis. And I thought it was weird when you brought in the Barney Purple 
one's last year." Ami appraised her adhesion job,"You know if we can find out 
which moss is used I say we leave these up all year. Certainly the mounting 
brackets."

Joy was beaming,"Yes yes that's a good idea," Joy was just tickled pink that the 
company behind it had come up with this upgrade when a researcher was 
spelunking. "I even got some for my room."

Ami smiled,"You could just stay with the three of us."

"I know... it is just that when I get near him," she almost shivered,"I don't 
think about sleeping. Snuggling and cuddling and groping beneath the sheets yeah 
but... SLEEP? Inconceivable," she winked at Lady Kintaro.

"Yeah I know how it goes. It's funny when one or the other of us is on edge... 
the other just seems to know and does something about it. I think I still have 
dirt on my butt."

"Dirt?"

"I was in the greenhouse."

Joy giggled,"There are so many things I could say about that."

Ami nodded,"Yep. I know," she paused,"So need help wrapping anything?"

"No peeking at the gifts."

"I'd better not look at you then," Miss Kintaro teased.

Joy tsked,"No no no... I'm for New Years."

"I dunno... that still might turn into an orgy."

"Fine by me... sweat and sex everywhere! LUCKY!" Joy held her fingers aloft in a 
V-sign.

The door opened and in walked 3 tired demon girls. Charhon flopped onto a couch 
face first. Haris tripped over her and landed on the floor and Astrala busied 
herself in the kitchen. Her intent was to refresh herself before passing out. 
She barely succeeded. Haris finally asked why Joy was brimming with... joy.

"Oh just the thought that New Years might turn into a big honking orgy... with 
bodies and sweat and sex everywhere! Doesn't that just turn you on?"

"Not right now. We just had to fight bunch of mecha freaks for parts for gifts 
Astrala intends to make. Or should I say duel. Was it a duel Charhon?"

"Merg flwes."

"There. Confirmation. A Duel."

Ami looked ready to sweatdrop,"You understood that?"

"Same way she talks when she's buried in some girl."

She pressed for the tease,"And you know this how?"

"Talking to her when she's in Margo... talking to her earlier when some biker 
chick got pissed with me beating up her boyfriend when he screamed about how his 
bike was fucked up cause his Author Avatar buddy got the crap kicked out of him 
and he couldn't fix his hog for him. He'd screamed in my ear."

"About the biker chick?"

"Oh yeah Charhon told me to step aside and that she'd handle everything. The 
girl threw a punch. Got her hand grabbed. Another and that got grabbed. Then 
Charhon twisted her around in her arms and... lessee what's close? Oh one of 
those naughty vampire dance scene things."

"In other words she seduced and made out with the girl."

"Yeah. Charhon feels guilty though. Something about being a wild fuck beast 
screwing anything that has a pulse."

Charhon turned her head,"I did not say those words."

"Well you're guilty I got that part right."

"I just hope Margo forgives me."

And from the stairs came,"Forgives you what? A Tryst? I'll only reproach you if 
she doesn't find a way to find your phone number for seconds. If that girl isn't 
stalking you I will be peeved."

"Oh thank you."

"Oh by the way. I found someone you must try tomorrow. We have reservations with 
her. A Pure Elf of a great bloodline. Probably at the brothel to get off before 
some arranged marriage when she's 60 or something. But she tasted..." Margo 
walked over, shook her head and just flat out picked up Charhon,"Tired or not 
the memory is just..." And she carried her off.

Joy was in happy tears,"Love is so great. Can I carry you to my room Haris?"

Haris gave her a flat look,"No."

"But I want to!"

"No."

"Okay," and Joy turned to Ami who had sounded the affirmative, "Now Joy do you 
wanna in your room or Eld's room?"

"Under the mistletoe over there?"

Ami blinked,"On the stairs?"

"Yep."

Ami chuckled,"Okay... at least we know you aren't some alien visitor."

"Of course not. Show me an alien with these numbers."

"Tsunami count?"

"She's not got my inches."

"Blood Falcon."

"She's not an alien!"

"You win... I'm on the bottom."

"Vee!" said Joy as her hand thrust into the air again.

"No posing or you're on the bottom."

DOWNSTAIRS

"This jacket... no... this one. Or maybe the blazer. Should I wear a tie? Maybe 
I should sneak into Margo's room and check her invitation to Anilesbocon2000. 
Maybe it has clothing tips," she shook her head,"Anime lesbians have inherent 
flawless style. Proof I will suck as a lesbian. Oh I better just grab something 
and go. Vest, tight pants and... this frilly blouse. No... leather vest to go 
with the pants. Wait! Slacks! Yes!! This works!!!" She looked at herself in the 
mirror,"I just realized something. What is with my wardrobe!? This is my most 
feminine blouse... and I look like some Renaissance Fop!" She noticed a lipstick 
stain on the collar,"This was owned by a fop!" She smirked,"That would explain 
it. Still can't believe I had sex with him though," She shook her head and 
headed for the elevator. "Try to remember the last time you masturbated well 
Ardice. You'll need all those tricks if you are to survive. And stop talking out 
loud."

<1/15/01>

AT THE MALL

"This is 180th class degrading," said a voice and voice alone,"Why not get Joy 
to do this? Wait that was not an intelligent thing to say she'd cock it up. No 
they wanted reliable. They asked for me.

"It's still degrading," the voice finished.

}Bing Bong{ went the 'customers' bell on the little shop, and the clerk looked 
up. She looked left and right, and could see nobody. "Must be kids playing a 
prank."

She was of course disabused of the notion as the voice chimed in,"Sorry it was 
the brief case."

"ACK!! Wait... who said that?"

"I did."

"Where are you?"

"If I specifically figured out my spatial coordinates I... wait you can't see me 
I forgot," and a shimmer in the air occurred and Rapture's disembodied head 
appeared. One guy reaching for a business card for the Cool Devices store, flat 
out fainted. He didn't hit the ground before someone who'd had the business card 
tattooed onto them earlier absconded with the guy. The clerk looked ill herself. 
Rapture presented her ID. The clerk sweatdropped mightily. It was written 
between her now visible breasts,"I'm not thrilled at the location either. I'm 
here for the tape."

"Yes right I was told you were coming."

"On my way. Not coming. There's a difference."

"Right... um... here it... wait... it's gone!" The clerk hefted the safe up onto 
the counter before her bones could realize the error of doing that,"We even had 
Takibana Armored come get our money early so we'd have room in the safe!"

Rapture picked up the safe like it was made out of rice paper,"Not a Beam or 
Light Saber... it's missing the signature of a Light Hawk Wing. There's a mind 
presence. It's been masked but I can still tell it's a Psi Blade. A Professional 
did this... not just a hepped up on goofballs Otaku or AA. Thank you for keeping 
the safe undisturbed," she put it back where it had come from.

"Well like I said I only just checked it."

"Your lack of caution saved the investigation. I will be leaving now."

"Um... okay. Be careful."

Rapture had turned around and been programming the droid/secure storage carrier 
for it's dimensional portalling home. She stopped this and turned around,"I 
don't have to be careful. I can be replaced by one just like me," Rapture turned 
back around and finished programming the droid. Both of them then stepped 
through a portal and were gone.

The Clerk looked into the backroom,"I said what you told me too."

"That you did," said Sprint as he stepped into the light,"This should thicken 
the plot like Mal wants it. Why she cares I just don't know."

"Who?"

"Never you mind girl," and he held up his Psi Blade at her point first," I was 
never here."

Out of fear for her life she fainted, and he put a little device behind her left 
ear. Smiling wickedly he removed it and stepped away from her. He used a 
fingernail to change some settings and tossed it behind him into the shop. It 
exploded on impact with the wall sending out a coursing shockwave of pure light.

When it reached where he'd been standing... he'd already launched through a 
skylight. 'When the smoke cleared' there was no trace he'd been interacting with 
anyone. Even the safe was fixed. Broken glass from the skylight? None. What 
broken skylight?

"Amazing what technologies the CP use. Marvelous things. Glad I still have 2 
more," and with that he leapt up into the air from the tip of a lightning rod 
and vanished.

Gala looked up pissed,"That fucking bastard almost stepped on me! I am so god 
damned glad I stepped my ass out of the way. Shit sucking panty waist of a 
dickless moron!" She fumed for a good extra minute before finally she spoke 
again,"Though I wonder where the tape is... he didn't have it. Even the camera 
is gone. I thought Mal was giving me 3 more days. Flaming bloody asses in 
bondage I'm pissed!" And with that she disappeared herself.

ONLINE

"Who put this on the game grid! Is just anyone wandering around the system? A 
Camcorder huh? Wait this is real! How'd this get in here. 'Property of...' The 
HECK! She's alive!" Peer stood motionless for a good minute. He finally looked 
back at the tag,"Dad thought she was dead when she didn't arrive at Lossoth's... 
hmm... 'Email this address for instructions on how to return: eldrick@...'" Peer 
dropped it and Lag caught the mysterious black and grey object,"Him again. Why 
is it always ELDRICK TOBIN!"

"HIM HERO."

"Right... and I'm the villain. It's time to make his life a living hell! But 
gotta start small. Email was really small. I thought he'd care more. So time to 
up the stakes," Peer suddenly nodded his head,"Right. Lag take care of 
intruders. Hurt them real bad. Slow their connections down to nothing. I'm 
stepping Offline for a moment. I shouldn't be too long. I'm going to raise the 
stakes like I said."

Peer integrated himself with the system turning it back to wakefulness,"COMPUTER 
EXPORT PEER_1 THOUGH NODE 4483905"

&& Compliance. &&

And with that Peer turned into a string of data and rocketed away at high speed. 
Much like Megaman/Rockman transporting between locations. Lag just blinked and 
went back to playing with his new friend.

NJ00 suddenly appeared,"Man is he annoying... wait... what's this on the ground. 
Lag can I pick that up?" she pointed to the camcorder that Lag had put down 
when he'd forgotten about it.

"LADY CAN PICK UP. LADY FIX PEER. LADY MAKE FRIEND. LADY NICE," Lag said as he 
smiled down at the Demonic Nurse Joy.

The Pokéfiend picked it up and accessed the data. Then she picked up her hat and 
fanned herself with it,"Interesting content. I'll have to talk to these 
people... this Ami Kintaro... and Eldrick Tobin. First I should look into their 
email to see what kind of people they are," and she sank into the floor to go 
access said files.

<1/17/01>

IN FRONT OF PLANET DUNGEON

"A Quick breath... and in we go," said Ardice as she pushed open the door. The 
door opened on a scene of bustle. Packages and garments flying every which way. 
Ardice just stuck her free hand in her pocket and sighed. It was like looking at 
a herd of zebras. So what if pretty much every elven slant was represented... 
and thus there were height and coloration issues almost throughout the spectrum, 
it still was like trying to find a specific needle in a barrel of needles 
without pricking yourself. "They must have done some shopping too. I guess I'll 
sit on at a gaming table and wait."

Some guy came up to her then,"Wow you look great! You here for the LARP? Your 
style and grace show you to be who I'm looking for."

"La... OH! No. Sorry."

"Really that's a shame. You look the part. My bones turned to jelly when you 
came in. Your walk speaks of your skills."

A voice shouted,"She's not who you're," there was a pause,"looking for. I'm over 
here. Wait I'd better get over there. You'd get the crap kicked out of you 
trying to cross the girls," and with that Nulise as she called herself currently 
flowed through the throng like a boat on the ocean. Chaos flowed back in behind 
her like she'd never been there. <insert nulise.description.src see note> 
"Fighter / Black Guard as advertised."

The Guy dressed as a wizard sweatdropped,"Didn't know you were Drow... sorry. 
I'm Chet Lazlo. I play The Great Lazloz."

"Didn't know you were a pathetic average male gamer. Guess we all have to live 
with our disappointments. Call me Nulise like in Jan/Feb's Dungeon. Where we 
going?"

"This cool guy offered to take us to a great location. Some pocket dimension... 
looks just like the real thing! I here the spiders will really bite you if 
you're not up for a fight. Cool huh?"

"So I'm the nursemaid to make sure you guys don't get dead? I can do that."

"No you're in the party. We're all experienced. We're all Name level."

"How nice for you," Nulise looked at Ardice,"Flowers. Nice touch. Candy too?"

Ardice shook her head,"The candy was foisted on me... it's not something I'd 
buy."

"Oh? Something nasty? Fawn'll love it. Not that she's nasty or perverted but. 
It's the thought that counts or some crap," she looked at The Great Lazloz,"Move 
it worm or we'll be late. The double bladed sword is quite real."

He nodded, "Right! I'm right behind you! Say do you know wushuu?"

"Ask again and I'll hurt you."

"You RP well. You're in character already!"

"I was born in character."

"Oh yeah sorry."

A hand waved itself infront of Ardice's vision as she watched the pair leave the 
building,"I'm over here," a voice said playfully.

Ardice blinked and locked eyes with Fawn,"Sorry about that."

"And Hi to you too. You shouldn't ogle Nulise. She's bad news. She had to kill 
her last boyfriend."

"Whoa... why?"

"He was sleeping with her girlfriend."

"I see."

"So stand up!" Fawn was motioning,"I wanna get a good look at you," she smiled 
winningly.

Ardice stood and it was in her normal flow-like style. No pauses. Nothing out of 
place. It spoke volumes of her grace and poise - And lethality - at the same 
time. Fawn finally 'picked her jaw off the floor' and walked around Ardice. She 
seemed to make note of every detail. She even paused to sniff the flowers that 
hadn't been presented yet.

Fawn was visibly stunned,"WOW! You went all out... and here I just pulled 
something out of my closet."

"This IS from my closet," Ardice assured before suddenly wordlessly handing the 
flowers over.

Fawn smelled them again,"They smell like you do. You must have spent real time 
picking these out. And here I was worried you wouldn't come. Everyone took me 
shopping because I was bringing the place down," she handed the flowers to 
someone who wove through the throng to put them in Fawn's room. Fawn toed at the 
floor,"So... what did you have planned?"

"Actually nothing. Hey no depressing or I'll have to suck out your eyes again," 
that got Fawn smiling,"There. Much better. You see I figured we'd just enjoy 
each other's company. If we're doing that it doesn't matter where we are." 
Fawn had one of those 'I'm weak in the knees' expressions on her face, and 
Ardice taking it as a cue kissed her dainty lips. When they pulled away, the 
place was pretty quiet. Everyone was watching but Ardice didn't notice,"Shall we 
go?"

"Take me anywhere."

And with that they walked out amidst many a sigh. They walked and talked for a 
little while before, as they passed an alley, some crazy on a Motor Cycle came 
tearing at them before either could react. There was the sound of tearing cloth 
and Fawn shrieked. The back bow on Fawn's Nymph in a Fuku look had been yanked 
off taking her top with it. She'd be naked if it weren't for her hands.

"Fawn!" Ardice called then in a smooth motion Ardice had her own blouse in her 
hand and was fastening the few buttons before anyone knew what was up. She 
looked over at the cackling biker and raised a hand. Her wings somehow extended 
without damaging her vest in fact they seemed to not exist as far as the vest 
was concerned. After muttering a few words, power formed over her extended arm 
and she called out,"Gust of Blades!"

A Cloud of Daggers formed. The milling mass having it's constituency tossing and 
turning with greater and greater speed the closer to the target it got. There 
was a loud cry and a motorcycle crash. A Cop who was investigating a domestic 
dispute wandered over and arrested the badly cut up jerk.

Ardice was about to turn around when she felt Fawn glomp onto her from behind. 
"My hero. Always rescuing me."

"Yes... well do you want to go see what state your top is in?"

"The police can send it home for me. It has my address on the collar. So now 
what?"

"I think I should keep these out," she said as she 'wiggled' her wings,"The 
vest doesn't close up in the front."

Fawn quickly disengaged and ran around to look,"Wow," Ardice closed her wings 
infront of her in embarassment,"Hey don't do that. I was meaning the look 
change. From Ritzy to Leathergirl with only the change of a blouse for smooth 
perfect skin." Fawn reached out and caressed a wing,"Could you let me in? I've 
never been wing embraced once in my life."

Ardice let her in and enfolded her in arm and wing. Fawn just sighed 
contentedly. Ardice smiled at her closed eyed form before moving to kiss her 
forehead. However there was nothing there when she got there.

Fawn had lowered herself in the embrace and was placing a kiss in the valley 
between Ardice's breasts. Blushing furiously Ardice placed her hands lightly on 
the back of Fawn's head. And there they stood for a few minutes.

Fawn finally looked up,"Let's go to your place."

"Uh Fawn this is only the first date."

"Huh? I just wanna see where you live. I have nothing romantic in mind really. 
Honest."

"Okay but no diving on me the second you see a couch or a bed or so much as a 
footstool."

Fawn chuckled, an interesting sensation to say the least,"Or the floor I know. 
So can we? Home is gonna be a mad house for a while yet."

Ardice squeezed her lightly before releasing her. Taking her hand in hers she 
stepped through a portal she'd already made since the question was asked. "You 
promised okay?" the words were the only thing left of them after the portal 
snapped closed.

<1/18/01>

AT THE HOUSE

"No one has ever given me such trouble at this game. You've played this before 
right? Wait... how could you. I haven't seen anything like it yet," said Ardice 
clearly perplexed but pleased.

Fawn punched a fist in the air,"It's just so much fun... and besides I'm good 
with my hands. How about we play for keeps? Every loss... clothing hits the 
ground. What do you say?"

"Ha! I'll beat the pants off of you! You're on!"

At the elevator door Margo watched the exchange with a smile,"Even if nothing 
happens it's good to see sis happy. Maybe now she'll believe it's not just 'in 
the script' for us to enjoy ourselves," she looked to where Eldrick sat 
oblivious,"Hmm he's not done yet. The darling must be working his tail off on 
his assignment. I'll try back later."

AT THE ART CLASS FINAL

"Time's almost up, Mr. Sterling. I'll grade whatever you have indiscriminately. You 
always do such good work I'm surprised you didn't skip the final. You were 
passing anyway... and I never give anyone the maximum score besides. 10 years 
down the line they will be light years ahead of where they were initially when I 
passed them. Be unfair to give them 100% now before they reach their peek and 
earn that extra point no?" And with that the teacher came around to look at the 
piece,"Time is up now Max Sterling. Hand it over and go home for some rest. I 
can hear you panting from ex..." His eyes popped open,"ertion... HEAVENLY! Where 
ever did you get the idea? I mean... nice piece... what is it called?" The 
teacher said into his delicate pale hand.

"These are my friends."

"Your friends in America?"

Max... err Eldrick blinked,"Yeah. I mean yes sir. As for a name for the piece 
well... I hadn't thought to name it. But I suppose I should before I sign it 
right?"

"What about each of them inspired you to put them in the piece. Besides being 
your friends. Afterall 'Friendship' doesn't seem to fit the piece," a long nail 
tapped thoughtfully on the Instructor's cheek,"It has to be something that says 
a little about each of them... and about you... since I see you are in the 
piece. The real you that is."

Max held the painting to his face and looked... sure enough he had painted 
'Eldrick' in,"That's a memorable mistake, but... how did you know?"

"A Master's skill in one so young who has not taken much of a course on art to 
speak of ever before? I looked into your records to see if someone was drawing 
for you or if you had some inside angle on my expectations," Mr. Tatsuyama 
smiled to himself,"When pressed for details none of your teachers and colleagues 
could do more than shrug over the phone. It was then that I took the liberty to 
look around. On the internet I found an old piece of Eldrick's art and the mind 
behind it became clear Mr. Sterling. I knew then that my star pupil must be 
that Author Avatar.

"What had always puzzled me was that if such power was being wielded in my 
class... why weren't you doing even better? Why were your works not scoring 
above and beyond into the realms of the divine like some of the Boys and Girls 
in the Avatar Wing," the Instructor was pacing by now, slowly and calmly 
speaking his flowing gown barely moving as he seemed to glide about the 
room,"Then I realized it. While the Gifted down the hall might wield their 
tremendous powers onto the canvas. You do not. You have somehow access to the 
works of ages... and yet you only seem to allow that to mold your imagination 
into paint.

"Indeed Mister Sterling I haven't been grading your skill so much as the 
imagery you create with your pieces. I could grade on the skill, but skill alone 
leads to little. One must have experience or a vision to make skill worth 
anything. A revolutionary mind on the battle field can beat out a staunch 
tactician if they can see the battle in a way the veteran can't. Likewise the 
veteran sees the field in a different light due to his experience. Each will 
give the other a run for their money that an officer fresh out of the academy at 
the top of his class simply cannot.

"Not of course to belittle the resource that you are using to assume this shape 
and this skill level."

"No... offense taken."

"Have you thought of a name yet?"

"I must admit you blew my curve mentally. I didn't think anyone would link me 
and myself."

"Being a student of the arts I am a very perceptive man. Some have said about my 
eyes that one eye sees the world and the other sees the truth. I do not agree 
with such flattery but I am very perceptive if I do say so, repetitiously, 
myself," he paused and looked at the piece again,"If you do not have a name 
now... you can come to my studio tomorrow and tell me there. We will have a 
subfinal. I wish to see how you really draw. Wear this disguise or not. I assume 
it's to protect those who deal with you this way from the Turmoil of your normal 
life."

"Well..."

"Do not explain. I did not mean to pry. I shall tell you my address now. I'd 
give it to you on paper... but I fear whatever transformation leads you to this 
form would destroy the parchment," and with that he visually described the way 
from the school to his house,"I shall not expect you before late tea. So that I 
might look over the piece and submit your grade. I also have a student from 
another class to test."

"I should be able to make it... your house seems a bit oddly placed though," Max 
recalled all the satellite dishes in that area of town. The signal would be so 
weak he'd look like a ghost. It's one thing to pierce magic... especially when 
invited. It's another to fix signal degradation. He'd never planned to have to 
relay the signal or anything.

"I do not like people spying into my life from outside of it. Is this a problem? 
I could requisition keys for here."

"No... it's... okay. I'll come undisguised if I must. Or find an alternate 
method. I've nearly blown the poor thing up anyway. I'd better find a better way 
to do this. The machine can't take the strain," Eldrick stood and bowed to his 
teacher,"I will see you tomorrow. I'll have Astrala make something nice to bring 
over."

"Astrala? Which one is she on the canvas?"

"This one... and the one behind her."

"Ah a being of magic and youth. You captured that even in her older form. I look 
forward to whatever you bring. You are now dismissed."

Max bowed again and put his paints away. Bowing once more at the door, he smiled 
and left. Hideki Tatsuyama looked at the piece before him,"An Author Avatar... 
who doesn't seem to want to be. Truly an enigma... wouldn't you agree whoever 
you are?" he inquired without turning around to face whoever was hiding behind a 
canvas in the back of the class. "I normally don't allow visitors in my 
classrooms."

A face popped around the canvas,"Sorry about that."

"No you are not. What is your business here?"

"Well Mr. Artclass of Horrors..."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nevermind. Anyway... I was just watching my pray. Don't worry it's not you."

"You flatter yourself because you see you do not frighten me. You see it is 
because you are in my classroom. Here I hold dominion," The door closed," Now 
what do you want with my student?"

"He's not learning anything."

"On the contrary he is learning."

"Author Avatars don't learn. Only those who destroy them learn anything."

"I see you are a very angry individual. And I fear I am starting to share some 
of that emotion. Could you kindly leave?" the door opened again,"And don't think 
to delay my pupil or you will find yourself painted into a corner. Now if you 
will please be on your way, Mr. Peer Kentaru. I have a painting to grade and let 
dry."

"How the hell?"

"I hold dominion in my classrooms."

"Fine I'm leaving. I have other things to attend to."

"That is a good idea. And also you shouldn't act so rough and tough around the 
frail. It makes you seem like a bully. Good day Mr. Kentaru."

ON THE ROOF

"Man I was hoping to capture that one. Hold them for ransom... a fight to the 
death. And what happens? I run into that. How is an Artist supposed to get 
anything done?" Peer scowled,"Not that anyone appreciates my skill."

"Poor baby. Just come back to the digital. I got NJ00 to agree to a date with 
you. Don't waste the opportunity."

"NJ...? OH! SWEET!! Yes! I knew she couldn't resist the temptation!"

"Actually it was when I told her I had a hostage that she agreed."

"But I was supposed to get the hostage!"

Sprint spread his hands,"She fell into my lap. Then I noticed the blouse she was 
wearing and snagged her. Apparently she was fresh from a date with one of the 
Fallen. Some Elf Girl."

Peer imagine how cute she probably was and floated over his perch on the 
flagpole,"I bet she's a vision!"

"She isn't blind."

"You know that's not what I meant," Peer glared.

"Yes. Whatever. Just come have your date. Gala gets to deliver the message to 
Eldrick. She can cross the barrier itself. Probably squeezing through a keyhole. 
Life Mirrors Digital every time."

Peer nodded,"Too true. And they think it's the other way around. Idiots."

Sprint tapped his foot,"Date. You. Digital. Now."

"Oh right. Do I look okay?"

"What this is a shounen ai title now?"

"Not that I noticed."

"Then you shouldn't have asked," and Sprint just suddenly wasn't there.

"I wish I could do that," and Peer leapt off to the portal.

AT THE HOUSE ONCE AGAIN

"That was fun. Did I just say that?" Ardice said flopping onto a couch.

Margo smiled,"So when did you take up Nudism? I must say it will do wonders for 
your skin."

Ardice waved her off,"We were playing a game..."

"Strip Poker?"

"Nothing so dull."

"But Strip Something right?"

"Yeah," Ardice sighed.

Margo smiled,"So can I officially welcome you to the world of Shoujo Ai?"

"We're just friends."

Charhon snickered,"Earth to 'Junta'. She wanted you. Did you not see that? 
Ardice I think your keen edge has dulled a bit."

"Pipe down you. We're just friends," She glared at them. She then looked around 
at everyone else who was watching the TV,"Where's Eldrick?"

Haris chugged back her beverage, wiping foam off her nose,"Why horny?"

"No," Ardice however blushed so she most likely wasn't believed,"I'm just 
curious."

Charhon executed a perfect patented Aeka tease jab at Ardice,"Bi-curious I'll 
bet."

"My dietary intake meter reads MALE. This means I kiss, hug, grope, fondle, and 
train MEN."

Konei piped in,"Well maybe by acting enough like a guy you can show Fawn that 
guys aren't all bad?"

Ardice shook her head,"Friends don't try to play with friends' sexual 
orientation."

"Then show her how much better you are than a guy. Afterall you've trained so 
many you obviously know what is what and why is why. Right?"

"I don't know how to answer that Konei. Have you been in the catnip again?"

Konei looked shocked and appalled,"How could you tell?"

"I can smell your breath from here. And it's falling off you like dandruff."

Konei shook her head,"Wow you are so right! Look it's snowing! Whee!" some 
sprinkled on Joy's back. "Sorry Joy."

Joy smiled,"Oh quite alright just lick it off."

"Okay!" Konei smiled.

Joy's toes started curling,"Ah the cheaper the thrill the better sometimes... 
right Hope?"

Hope only looked over while chewing her popcorn. The only sign she acknowledged 
what her sister said was the rapidly spreading blush on her face. She turned 
back to the show and her popcorn. Joy grinned.

Margo and Charhon continued to squeeze onto and lick grape pulp off of each 
other like nothing else in the universe was going on. Astrala got up to make tea 
as she shook her head at the hijinks of her sisters. She 'shrunk' to her child 
body, and proceeded to just wear her apron. She busied herself with 
conversation to let the water have time to boil, "So when is your next date, 
Ardice?"

"Uh we didn't set one."

"You should. You looked really nice together."

"It's dogpile on Ardice day..." Hands lunged for her,"It's a figure of speech 
Joy."

Joy looked at her firmly,"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Drat."

Astrala spoke into the silence that only the whistle interrupted,"So... you 
going to call her and set one? Do you have her number?"

Ardice blinked,"Uh... yeah it's on the receipts from earlier. She said she'd 
call though since she said waiting for me to call would give her wrinkles."

"Well if she doesn't call by Christmas Eve worry that she's found a new friend 
to wake up with in the morning."

"We aren't those kinds of friends Astrala."

"You're blushing! You're thinking about it right now! 'Ardice wa shoujo ai-chan 
desu!'"

"Now you're teasing me with butchered Japanese."

Konei nodded,"'Sou ka.'"

"Eld come home! Save me from my family," Ardice said tossing a pillow at the 
elevator door.

<01/23/01 1728>

Ami smiled,"You'll be okay."

"I know."

The Elevator door opened and Eldrick stepped out looking haggard, "Well the 
dimensional component of the system is now scrap. It can still do everything 
else though. It's odd."

Ardice walked over concerned,"What about next semester?"

"Well I... what is this... naked day?" And Eldrick surveyed the room. Astrala 
was in the kitchen, young, and in only an apron. Ami was waving and in only a 
towel which she seemed ready to take off once she dried from an apparent shower. 
Hope was in just her undies and staring at him panting softly. Joy was in an 
outfit that she might as well have NOT been wearing... some body stocking meets 
sexcraft ninja wear with the whole back exposed save for the ass itself. When 
she looked over to wink he saw that the front was the same way. The only part of 
her adequately covered was the sides. It looked like the outer wear counterpart 
to what Hope was wearing. He suspected however that it was crotchless.

Ardice was of course naked as the day she hatched and standing right in front of 
him. She seemed to have forgotten she wasn't dressed. Haris was drip drying from 
a stint in the pool to judge by the smell of chlorine. She often went airclad 
after a swim -not to mention seldom swimming with a suit period- just to keep her 
clothes dry before donning them again. Margo was Margo, and Charhon was playing 
games with Margo so that explained her own attire. Although she was certainly 
more dressed than say Ami, she was more exposed by now as well. If she had to 
answer the door it would be easier by far to just strip than try to redo her 
outfit.

Konei he could tell was totally unaware of her nakedness due to catnip overload. 
Irregardless of the fact that catnip SHOULD NOT WORK on her. Eldrick took in 
everyone and everything else present, .o0(Let's see :

Noh-ohki is as dressed as Noh-ohki gets... 
Workbot has no clothes to speak of...
Thyra was being repaired last I looked...
Jean was the picture of health that I can remember...
The Pixie from Hell was grumbling to herself on the stair rail...
The cars were fine...
Darsh is looking at Yoko hentai...
The Eva was still waiting for it's launcher to finish being built... even though 
The crew didn't know where'd they'd call home with their home fic now gone...
Washuu and Strawberry were in the dining room wrapping presents...

Wait... the hell!)0o. "When did Washuu get here?"

Astrala answered from the kitchen,"They got some gifts for you and the house in 
general and are wrapping them here to shove in the Gift Corner all the faster. 
Why?"

"Dunno... just seems like something is amiss right now."

Hope looked towards the Stairway,"It's probably our little intruder who didn't 
set off the alarm."

Gala waved sort of,"Yeah it's probably me."

Eldrick looked at her,"No you aren't it..." he blinked,"It's the Glowing 
schlong hanging from the ceiling! What the heck is going on with those!" He 
pointed.

Gala face vaulted into the carpet,"Hello! Villain... in your domicile! Spreading 
her evil all over the place!"

Astrala smiled and helped her back to the stair rail,"I'm more evil than you," 
she said and stuck her tongue out.

"I am a QUEEN of Evil."

Astrala sweatdropped,"More tea?"

"Certainly."

Eldrick had one of the penii down and was examining the glowing tube,"Now that's 
an implant. Ow."

"Could you stop ignoring me you big idiot!"

"You were the next mystery. So why are you here?"

Gala had the spotlight,"Well first what alarm is everyone talking about?"

Eldrick crinkled his brow,"It's a friend or foe system. I think. Or maybe it's 
just intent. I'm amazed you found your way in here. Not amazed you tripped 
security."

"Well I'm here to deliver a message of grave importance. I'm waving the white 
flag right now. See?" she pulled out a little stick with a flag on it. Joy was 
giggling. Gala glared at her... then noticed something different in the world. 
She realized her panties were on the stick,"HEY! No perving the Fairy Girl!" Joy 
giggled an apology,"Like I believe you. Hey Tobin. Turn around. Before I smack 
you dumb."

"Yes. Right," he said before doing so. Hope was standing right next to him,"Hi 
Hope." Hope looked ready to rip her clothes off. Hope's feeling were setting 
most everyone else off as Margo and Charhon who WERE content to just play around 
obviously were now deeply engaged in love making. Konei was chasing Haris around 
the room meow'ing and purr'ing. Joy was with Ami and Astrala talking about how 
long before the rest of the room degenerated. Ardice naked as she was was the 
only one unaffected besides maybe Ami. Washuu and Strawberry were behind a 
force field.

"Okay I'm done. Turn around for the message."

Eldrick nodded and did so,"So what's the message."

"We have hostages. Do you want to rescue them? They are of course safe for now."

Eldrick sighed,"Where are they? What do you want of me?"

Gala smiled wickedly,"I want you to come to the Mail Server. We have exclusive 
access IP addresses setup that you can use to get in. Then you will play our 
game. I believe you are well versed in Dungeons and Dragons."

"And if I refuse?"

"Well would you LIKE to see Ardice over there cry? Cause her little Fawn will be 
sent on to Deer Heaven. Of course you'll also have to contend with mobs of 
screaming fans wanting blood as the VHS tape has been stolen. Maybe we know 
where it is. Then of course we have some random nameless hostages. A bit too 
much to just throw away no?"

Ardice looked livid,"I'll go Eld. I know you don't want to."

Gala shook a finger,"Nopers, Fallen. This will take a group to succeed. All of 
you must come."

Joy was part of the group by the Pixie suddenly,"All of us huh?"

"Yep."

"Guess we'll just have to have an orgy then."

"THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY YOU'LL ALL HAVE TO COME!" Gala blinked,"The Heck? 
Where all my colorful words go? Drat. Whoa... I just said Drat? WHAT IS GOING 
ON?"

Eldrick shrugged,"I was wondering why you weren't insulting us up one side and 
down the other."

Gala felt at her neck,"My voice changer fell off!"

Eldrick looked around on the floor,"Did you have it with you when you passed 
through to this dimension?"

"Why are you trying to help? I'm a QUEEN OF EVIL!"

"Oh stop."

Gala cooled right off,"Wha... what?"

"I'm probably more evil than you could imagine. And I'm the good guy around 
here."

"That makes no sense."

"Tell me about it," Eldrick blinked,"Oh was that all the message? Maybe you 
should go look for your voice changer in a nearby dimension. I'll replace it if 
the security system annihilated it."

"That's nice of you thanks," she blinked," I mean... uh... Don't waste my life 
you stake snarfer," Gala seemed pleased she'd worked up an insult on her own.

"Steak?"

"No... hell What Hope wants. I'm saying you blow donkeys wanker. There that's 
better. Wanker wanker wanker."

"What Hope..." he looked down,"Oh."

Hope was watching his pulse through his pants kneeling on her hands to keep from 
unzipping him in front of guests. From Gala's perspective she might as well be 
IN his zipper already. "I can't hold out much longer with her here Eld. I don't 
know what is reacting inside me but... it's starting to become painful. T... 
Tell her to leave... unless she wants to watch."

Of course in the background everyone who was from Below except for Ardice was 
engaged in an orgy to beat all orgies. They weren't even on furniture anymore... 
just a perfect circle on bodies on the floor. Tongues fingers... hands groping. 
Ami had come to stand near Joy since intelligent conversation was all by the 
stairs at this point. Gala had no choice but to listen at this point. The Pixie 
shook her head,"Can't leave till you commit to arrive on the game map... by 
actually being on it."

Eldrick looked around,"From your talk earlier you don't like me AA's or SI fic 
in general. It's going to be a rough day for you then."

"What do you mean day?"

"You want all of us. That's a little hard to do for at least a day. Most have 
prior commitments tomorrow."

"Put them off."

Ardice spoke as she stepped out of range of Joy's idle hands- Joy didn't even 
know she was starting to fondle the naked Demonette,"As much as I fear Fawn means 
to me. If whoever has these people hostage -and the server hostage as well- 
they have time to burn. Dead hostages means no push to go in after them so they 
are taking good care of the people. Torturing them probably means nothing as 
this isn't about information. It seems to just be a reason to draw Eldrick out. 
Lossoth shouldn't play these games. They don't work, on us or Eldrick."

"Lossoth has nothing to do with this. My Lady has instructed me, Peer, Lag and 
Sprint to do what we are doing."

"Malinara?" asked Ami.

Gala shook her head,"The Other Mal. Malhificion... Malahelicon... the Muse of 
Bad Fanfic! Wait I probably shouldn't have told you that," she glared at Eldrick 
and then flew up and bopped his nose,"Stop affecting me with your Avatar ways 
you... Avatar!"

Eldrick blinked and tried to focus,"What do you mean?"

"I mean this whole wave of 'Hmm dur I dun knowd what'th going on dur. Lemming 
effect world to make me know.' It's EVIL! You aren't supposed to know didley for 
a long time yet!"

"Told you I was evil."

"HA! If I read your mind I'd probably find daisies and other flowers and little 
butterflies sipping dew off of them."

"The Butterflies would be carnivorous and the daisies would be Slaver 
Sunflowers. You know... buds of magnified sunlight death."

"I read Niven you don't have to explain it to me."

"Well if you are so eager read my mind."

"FINE!" and with that Gala landed on his ear and grappled on. Gala then became a 
shimmering field of magic and entered his ear. At this point Hope nearly ripped 
open Eld's pants and seemed ready to bite him off.

Joy really wanting into Ardice's non-existant pants erected a glamour,"Ardice... 
wanna practice with Fawn? I really... need this."

Ardice went wide eyed,"F... Joy... don't do that. You scared me."

She shook her head,"I'm sorry but I'm just as affected as Hope is. I have to 
screw... and you need to practice for the day you rescue Fawn. I know if you 
were rescuing me we'd barely be safe from the villain before I was all over you 
like body paint."

"I don't know."

Joy blinked and smiled must like Fawn would,"Oh Ardice," she said using Fawn's 
voice,"You smell like flowers. And your skin is as soft as petals opening to 
receive the dawn's light. I want to be that light for you. Can I?"

Ardice sighed,"Actually Joy I'm the one who makes the lines up... but... oh 
hell... I was about to go up to the pool anyway," and with that she walked up to 
Joy and with only a few words and gestures had Joy down on a couch with all the 
skill one could expect from a Prince trying to rescue a girl from her virginity.

Ami smiled,"It's good to see everyone happy like this," as she slowly began 
masturbating on the stairs as Eldrick watched.

IN ELD'S MIND

Gala watched the lights swirl to their finality. Then she was in a simple enough 
room. There was a tv next to a bed... a king sized bed. And there was a computer 
right next to her along the same wall as the door she'd apparently just walked 
through. Near the bed was a privacy screen with some clothing tossed over it.

She could hear the sound of running water and moved towards that. The 
carpeting felt divine against her toes. As she passed a floor to ceiling mirror 
the realization struck her that she was 'full sized' for the room. Also of great 
note was the fact she was naked as a jaybird. Blushingly she admired herself 
before worrying that whoever was in the shower... might come out any minute. She 
thought of clothing... and was dressed.

However she was not dressed in the style she was used to.

Behind her she noticed a portrait of a beautiful Elven Girl, young enough to 
incite an ,"Awww..." from even Hell's Pixie.

"Arshes was adorable when she was so young don't you think?" came a man's voice 
behind her. "I don't get many visitors as you might well imagine. I'm curious as 
to who is wearing that fetching outfit before me? A Nymph come to steal my heart 
with her beauty perhaps?"

Gala whirled and smacked him soundly,"Listen you bas," she groaned at the 
visual. Dark Schneider naked to the world and dripping shampoo in his hair,"... 
Gee of course Eld has Dark Schneider in his head. The Boy is laced with cliche."

Darsh grinned,"Actually I'm not Dark Schneider at all. I'm simply the 
interface's persona. You are actually talking to Eldrick's Nano-colony. I became 
as I am during a bit of exploration of another host by parts of me. Now I'm here 
to stay," he smirked,"So what can I do for you, minx?"

"Just passing through was going to take a look at Eld's mind. See if I can 
find some of the evil he mentioned is in here."

"You," and he winced,"Don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"It's a war zone beyond the door over there," he pointed out the door opposite 
the one she seemed to have entered through,"A war zone with massive casualties on 
each side. ... And there aren't just 2 sides."

"So? I came to look and I'm going to look."

"Well let me get dressed and then we'll go," he walked passed the bed and paused 
looking first at it then at her,"Unless you aren't in a hurry..."

"There's enough sex happening outside in the world above. Not interested."

"That's a shame. Right," and he dressed in one motion,"Let's be off. I will warn 
you that I at least will take on different forms as we move through His mind."

Gala sighed,"More annoying than this one?" .o(This is going to be as fun as 
watching moose poop dry out)o.

"Actually it will only be as fun as you expect it to be."

"How did you...?"

"Hear that? Simple. You're in here. Just remember that I have power here. But 
don't forget YOU have some power here or I might not be able to get you back 
out."

"Yeah like that is likely."

"Notice even now your personality has shifted a bit? You sounded just now like 
Lina Inverse. Not that that outfit is hers... perhaps you should be more like 
Sylphiel," and he moved a hand lightly for dramatic purposes only.

"Hey there do I know you?" drifted down from her head.

Gala reached up and grabbed a tiny Gourry clone. She was awash with emotions and 
hugged it. Darsh moved his hand again and Gala realized she was cuddling a 
Gourry clone and flung it at the wall,"Hey! No playing with my mind you semi 
incestuous TOAD! I don't have to take your bullshit so you can just shove it 
right back up your ass and weld it shut," she closed her eyes and turned her 
head,"Panty Waist."

Darsh was laughing,"I thought you couldn' talk like that without your voice 
changer. Perhaps you're wearing one now?"

She touched her neck and sure enough... there it was,"Can we stop the magic show 
please? This event is boring. I get the point." She took the changer off and put 
it into hammerspace, without thinking about it.

"That's what I mean. Remember you have power here as well. There is no 
hammerspace in here. Or at least there wasn't before little miss fancy pants -
that's you wench- made one. I'd congratulate you but I only reserve that for 
women who stay awake after my tender long winded ministrations."

"I preferred you talking sense."

"Up to you. I'm just an interface. A naughtier interface than say Windows but an 
interface nonetheless."

She pointed to the door and just waited. He walked a few paces before offering 
her his arm. She rolled her eyes and walked passed him.

Opening the door revealed a vast green expanse beneath a tree. Looking around 
from there she saw students dressed like they went to Ohtori eating lunch 
reading manga, playing light sports. Everything you'd expect for lunch time at 
Ohtori Gakuen.

Fearfully she looked down and sure enough... she was dressed like a female 
student. A braid caught her eye. Felling around on her head she found a mass of 
soft braids and her hair was now a soft pale red. She smacked herself in the 
forehead. "Typical."

Behind her the voice of the Chairman broke in,"What did you expect? Normalcy? 
You are lucky I changed the parameters in here or we might be in that Escher 
print known as the Movie's Ohtori Gakuen. You should be taking me."

She looked over her shoulder uneasily,"Darsh?"

He grinned,"You'll always be able to tell if it's me by my hair. It will always 
be white," he fluffed it for her,"You like?"

"No," she regarded how he was dressed,"And I loathe that costume. Brings back 
bad memories."

"Just trying to make sure *I* don't blend in. But then on this campus... it's 
hard not to blend in," he gestured around him.

Gala took note of the student body again and noted besides all having different 
heights and the like... every uniform was unique some even outlandish.

"In Eldrick's Ohtori... the main sign of Post Series Events is that the dress 
code has been relaxed. Oh and that,"he pointed an 'exclamation marked' sleeve at 
the sky. There for ll the world to see was the upside down castle. Mythical 
creatures frolicked in the sky's surrounding it. Many even seemed to live on 
it's inverted gravity plane.

And there was blood and death to be seen up there even from this distance. "But 
you never seen blood in Utena. I call foul. This is as bad as a bad fanfic."

"Those are simply rose petals. Only... roses are now only one color... and that 
is blood red," he grimaced,"Shaped rose petals. If you are perky... they're 
heart shaped. If wicked they are skulls."

"That's pretty black and white."

"The duelists of both camps get special ones with their colors upon them. White 
Embroidered edges for the Student Council. Black thorny edges for the Black Rose 
Society. The middles of the petals are reserved for student clubs," he looked 
off at a non Castle'd piece of sky,"And there are some Black clubs indeed here. 
The campus is like a bad meld of Utena and Ultima Online."

Gala braced for impact,"What do you mean now?"

"Everyone is a Duelist," and with that the lunch period ended and Rather than 
return to class... many students paired off and headed towards the Forest,"And 
the Duels are for keeps. Those who die... are reborn in the castle as creatures 
that are the embodiment of their soul. Some don't become creatures, but 
machines... cars... mecha... it's a big mess. Ready to move on yet?"

And then the bell tolled. With a blood curdling scream a dragon appeared in the 
skies overhead. Scales of silver and gold adorned it, glimmering as they were in 
the light of the flames burning at it's mouth. It 'descended' towards the castle 
and engulfed a... wood nymph? in a conflagration. Death was amazingly quiet as 
rose petals fountained from where the poor nymph had been.

"Can you tell me where room 101-c is? I'm new here. I just transferred in," said 
a voice behind them.

Gala turned and then pointed off in a direction. The boy nodded and scampered 
off in his spiffy little shorts for the class in question. Gala glanced over at 
the now smiling Dark Shneider,"What's so funny?"

"You're part of the game now. You helped another without an ulterior motive. The 
Student Council will probably be approaching us if we don't get out of here 
NOW," he paused and the grin faded,"Unless you wanna see what you'll comeback 
as... that is unless you think you can beat her," and he pointed.

A fairy was descending from the castle towards them, and the sick part was was 
that she was dressed down the to last crease in the fabric like Gala. There was 
even a haunting resemblance in the eyes. If Gala was darkness... this look 
alike was the light. And that would be a very fair assumption... except for the 
fact that the look alike was garbed as a Black Rose Duelist in the Rose 
department.

"Hey pimp what's going on with the fairy?"

"Oh just that you're down here not up there. So she's coming to you."

"But I'm not a duelist," and she held up her hand. And there for all to see was 
a white signet ring. Panicking Gala slipped it off her finger and cast it in a 
mighty throw at the on coming opponent,"Here! You win leave me alone!" The ring 
speed with unnatural speed towards and through the target.

Black Petals mixed with red rained down from where the pixie had been. A lone 
bell tolled. All around there came the sounds of clapping. Gala whirled around 
and around and finally settling where she started she saw Utena Tenjou followed 
by Anthy Himemiya walking towards her position smiling and clapping. 
"Congratulations on winning your Duel."

"But I didn't win anything and I'm not a D," she looked at her hand again and 
paled. It was back. "Well shit," was her only response.

"Since you are down here... that must mean you are the victor upstairs correct?"

"No... no I'm not. I'm not in the game. I'm just... visiting the glorious 
campus. I have a sister that I was thinking of having enroll here."

Anthy smiled her brown eyes closing in merriment,"We have a modest one, Utena-
sama."

"No really I'm not," and then something struck her as she looked at Anthy. The 
eyes were brown. Anthy's eyes were NOT brown. Even Utena was a little off. Like 
they weren't who they were anymore than Darsh was who he was dressed as. "Darsh 
let's go."

"Don't want to see who your next opponent is?" was all he said in reply.

"No I don't!"

"Too bad there he is."

And Gala looked to see... Eldrick? walking towards them. Adorned in black with 
blue question marks on his cape he advanced with a simple sabre on Gala. He 
looked up and blinked,"Gala? You're alive! I thought I'd lost you forever! I 
can't believe it's you!"

"DARSH!!!!" And with that panicked yell the world called back to the simple room 
Darsh lived in in Eldrick's mind.

The Mock Bastard!! looked over from where he was in mid march to the 
shower,"Yes? I have to was the Pimp off of me. Excuse me."

"What the hell was that?"

"Just one of the many areas of Eldrick's mind. That is what he thinks of the 
rest of the world. We are here not in the next world because you don't seem 
exactly ready if that was so disturbing as you'd call my name not just exit 
Eld's mind."

"How did Eld know me?"

Darsh had his shirt off,"You are in the Omake. Only you're not on the side you 
are on now. Well that's not quite right... hmm... I don't know how to explain 
things."

"Am I dead there or something?"

"No..."

"Out with it."

"Sex first," he grinned," After all I am just about the best lover in all of 
anime. Care to drive me around the block?"

"Hell no."

"Well unless you want to try by yourself to go back through that door, you might 
as well leave. I'll be showering for days. Pimp Juice all over me. Yuck," and 
with that he had his pants tossed over the privacy screen and was walking to the 
shower.

Gala was ejected at that point.

BACK IN THE UPPER WORLD

Gala opened her eyes. She was laying down on a bed of cotton balls hanging 
about 3 feet off the ground. There was a damp compress on her forehead, and she 
was strapped down into the bed with twist ties. She struggled lightly and a beep 
went off slowly from the bottom of the box of cotton balls.

Joy appeared dressed as a nurse,"Hey there! I see you are awake not mumbling in 
your sleep and thrashing anymore," She leaned over and undid the twist ties 
holding Gala down,"You gave us all quite the fright. You've been asleep for 
days. It's Christmas Eve now."

Gala nodded and stood up. She blinked and reached back after a minute,"Did 
someone ... pull them off?" and she fell to her knees in shock.

Joy bit her lip,"Actually. You did. It's why we tied you down. You even 
scratched up one of your legs. What DID you see in Eldy's mind?"

"Nothing traumatizing... only... when I ejected I found another me next to me. 
She was trying to kill me talking about how could I destroy her. And we fought. 
Only she kept coming back again and again refusing to die and stay that way. 
Constantly accusing me of killing her."

"Have you killed any Fairies or Pixies?"

"Only one. In Eld's mind. It was like a Twisted Ohtori campus."

"All the pretty pretty boys and girls," Joy sighed.

"Can you stay on the task at hand?"

"No. I'm infamous," and Joy stuck out her tongue at Gala,"So you killed a pixie 
in Eld's mind. Hmm... maybe you brought her out with you?"

Gala looked sick,"Flatliners flashbacks," and looked ready to faint,"Just what I 
don't need a goody 2 shoes me trying to turn me into a stain on the carpet."

"If she's a goody 2 shoes why is she trying to kill you?"

"Good point."

Lady Ami came in the room then,"Ah-jha How's the Patient?"

"She's fine now thank you,"Gala answered sticking her tongue out.

"Your boss is downstairs. He/she got worried."

"I'm so dead."

"They don't look like they came to kill you," and Ami took the opportunity to 
stick her tongue out now.

Joy brightened,"All the love in this room demands an orgy! Who's with me!?"

Ami sweatdropped,"I think I hear Konei and Gerard going at it upstairs in the 
security booth."

"I'll go... monitor their vital signs," and she winked and disappeared up the 
stairs .

"I better report in. Malahelicon is going to be mad," Ami offered Gala her hand 
and the pixie climbed onto her palm," This is kinda degrading."

"Will they grow back?"

"Oh sure. Just takes a few days. They'll be done by... New Years."

"That's good."

<01/27/01>

DURING THE DOWNTIME IN HELL [Right after the black hole comment actually - Zin
Interstellar Continuity Policebeing!]

"May... maybe," Then the libiod quake subsided and she leaned towards him,"Kiss 
me."

"No you've got... ooze... all over and in your mouth. No way in hell."

A Voice chimed in from the door that had been left open and forgotten,"You kiss 
me all the time afterwards. Who's the bitch?"

Lossoth whirled, too much in afterglow to notice he'd ripped a tentacle off that 
she'd had still in her rump. With a snap of his fingers half elf and clothing 
and all the TentacleJuice she was covered in were teleported back to the 
brothel. "Oh just a stray I picked up and decided to give a saucer of milk."

One of the prostrate Fabrics looked up then,"Did you really mean to anger 
Eldrick and in so angering him hope for my destruction?"

Lossoth considered it,"Wouldn't have been any skin off my tentacles. Besides you 
moan like a donkey with a carrot up it's ass."

Sheer looked aghast and spoke next,"Has it all been a lie then?"

"Well I wasn't lying when I said you all fuck like amateurs and sexually feel 
about as much fun as sodomizing a pillow. A pillow made of barbed wire that is."

"Do we sicken you so?"

"Put it this way Guernsey."

"Thread."

"Whatever... if you girls were a sickness it would be a neuropoison and I'd be 
dead already. Get out of my sight."

The Fabrics fled the room in differing levels of dignity. Malinara smiled,"About 
time you got those freeloaders out of here."

"And you aren't?"

"Nope. I know how to fuck well. Don't I?"

"Shit yeah... speaking of which care for some naughty nookie? This tentacle 
right here has adapted to anal pleasures like I knew and kinda worried it might."

"What tentacle?"

Lossoth blinked and looked around. He put them all out and counted... he only 
had 3 tentacles,"I must have ripped one off in her! I'll show her!"

"Wait."

"Why?"

"This time... find one better suited to anal. I'll help you pick one out. I know 
just the right species. Just let that boring thing go. I think with the species 
I'm thinking of you could have 2 more without any loss of control. Then we can 
do that braided alimentary excursion. That looked... naughty."

"Sex now? Or After the appendage farming?"

"Now and after," and with that she knelt before him and began licking the now 
decidedly smaller trio of tentacles,"You know... I know some spellcasters... and 
some mentalists. Perhaps we could work on that spell for you. Tweak it. Make 
them easier to control. Maybe even give them the ability to store activities so 
you can concentrate on the... pleasure," she massaged his thighs and watched the 
throb in the members,"Maybe I could get one or 2 then... and put on a show for 
you."

Lossoth was all sub brain and nodding like a fool. She was such an expert he 
could always count on enjoying himself. She on the other hand was thinking 
something more like .o(Soon even Lossoth won't be enough for my plans. Maybe 
Peer or... Sprint will make better slaves than this one. If they succeed.)o.

LATER

Malinara combed her hair. It was rather nasty what she was styling it with... 
but it was about the only thing that gave the right shine. She nodded to Lossoth 
and they teleported to a place they could harvest the right parts. It of course 
didn't matter to either of them that the inhabitants would want to keep their 
parts. Or that one usually had to try out several to see what would be the best 
one. But of course neither cared about the body counts.

ELSEWHERE

"Nulise," Kanaetalina sang,"I have Demon Spooge you can lick off of me," and she 
threw open the vault like door to Nulise's room,"Are you moping in the darkness 
again?"

A yawn came from by the register yards behind her,"Oh excuse my yawn."

She bounced over, her shiny coating sticking in place after she slipped on a 
bracelet from a barrel. It's mundane use was to prevent contact poisons from 
slaking off or absorbing. It's naughty use was to... ah... maintain freshness 
for those who... uh... liked sampling the nectar of the pant-unia. Can't always 
have the right spells cast... and stuff.

"What's up boss?"

"Me and only barely."

"Where's Nulise?"

"I don't know. I lost communication. I'm staying up waiting for Investigations 
to arrive."

"She should be back already. Shoot!" she kicked at the air,"and I'm still 
horny too!" she pouted.

"Well just put that in a baggie for later or go find someone to lick it off of 
you."

"Yeah I'll do that! Most normal human girls at least can't resist this sort of 
stuff!"

He pointed a device,"That stuff doesn't possess those qualities."

"Rats."

"... it's whipping cream."

She shook her head,"It's Lossoth's ManGoo."

"It's whipped cream. Look at the meter," he locked the reading and handed it 
over.

She read the screen crestfallen,"I leave hell and it turns into whipped cream?" 
she took a taste,"But it doesn't taste like whipped cream."

"An illusion. Lossoth is 90 ways impotent. It's what the tentacle spell does."

"Cool you know the spell? Could you give me another tail?"

"You have 2 already," he blinked,"What the..."

She reached behind her. The tentacle she'd accidentally swiped... had become a 
second identical tail. Only it had a ... nozzle ... and she could tell the fur 
was retractable.

She squealed with delight and vanished upstairs. The owner of the store just 
chuckled. "I guess she's going to make sure she falls to the powers of her 
sexcraft now. Nice of Lossoth to give her that gift. Christmas is one 
pervasive holiday. That or..." he mused," She must have revolutionized his 
pants."

ON THE FIRST FLOOR (of the House) -and back to now-

"Gala!"

"Malahelicon!" said the pixie before leaping through the air and launching into 
a thorough ear huggle of her boss,"You're here to rescue me from the fic right?"

"Why would I do that?"

"But... they're always... screwing around here."

Malahelicon in her male guise of Malhificion smiled,"That was due to your 
Hell's Pixie Dust. Only sex I've seen the whole time I was here was Konei and 
Gerard. There's other wacky hijinks of course... but that's all the raw sex I've 
seen. They can restrain themselves."

Gala turned and bowed,"Oh sorry Eld for the generalization."

Eldrick smiled,"Actually Mal... we found out that when we turn on Voyager you 
tune out the world. We're not that retrained around here."

Mal nodded,"True but your fic isn't as bad as Gaseous Frankfurter's... it's so 
beautifully Contrived, no plot to speak of... and sex is always only a paragraph 
away. You need more Contrivance in this fic."

"I'd... rather not."

"Think of the delicious wackiness!"

"I am actually."

"Oh. Well I'll just have to do something wacky myself then," Mal wiggled... 
his... eyebrows and a box appeared GLUED to the ceiling,"I call it ... well I 
dunno. But it's really wacky. It will increase the wackiness around here 100 
fold!"

Eldrick simply groaned,"What do I have to do to get you to remove that?"

"Do something wacky."

"But if I just 'do something wacky' it's not spontaneous."

"Then the box will kick in... and you may not want that."

Astrala tapped Mal on the shoulder,"Is there any kind of warning?"

Mal went super deformed and whirled like a ballerina,"A bell... a bell that 
would make a Tinker Gnome proud!"

The bell went off. Nothing seemed to happen. Mal face planted.

"Something is supposed to happen! Something has to happen! That's the whole 
point! Great... it's so contrived it's broken."

Gala piped up,"Um... it did something. I think I can make Hell's Pixie Dust at 
will now."

Joy was suddenly very close to Gala. In fact she was Gala's Height and massaging 
her shoulders with an expert's hands. The expert of course appeared out of 
nowhere and demanded his hands back. Joy flashed him Gala's boobs and he decided 
to stay to help Gala work out the kinks in her shoulders.

Joy then spoke,"So... Gala... honey, sweety, darling, light of my loins... could 
you make me some? I know the perfect use! I'll spike some mistletoe in a park. 
People will hump like bunnies all over the place! It's perfect!"

Gala smirked, but couldn't maintain it since tension centers on her back were 
opening up like locks before a skeleton key,"I don't think so."

"Why not? Everyone needs a little love!" and she laughed.

Gala watched Joy's chest heave and sway,"What IS your cup size?"

"Right now? or naturally?"

"Naturally then unnaturally."

"Um... whatever Hope's is... and right now... HH. Want me bigger or smaller?"

Gala looked at Hope sitting on a couch reading, then back at Joy,"That's 2 sets 
of twins in one fic! That's ludicrous."

Mal chided Gala,"That's the whole point. There are also other fairy 
characters... and Jo Insei is in the ballpark of Joy's libido -not her 
perversion though. 2 pairs of magical girls. The demonettes aren't the only evil 
characters siding with the hero... and everyone is horny except Ego and Noh-
okhi... although I wouldn't be surprised if they were up to something," 'He' 
looked over at Noh-ohki,"Maybe not... someone needs to wind the fuzzball up. He 
turned off."

Eldrick smirked as he did so,"As for Ego he mentioned an Ice Cream Convention."

Mal nodded,"Probably won't see him again for a while."

Noh-ohki stretched and then shuddered as the 'box' rang. The wind up key on Noh-
ohki's back then chimed in,"This mascot is in need of a bios update on the next 
business day. We at Henshin Dynamics hope it has been serving you well, and urge 
you to try out any of our line of products this holiday season. We're having a 
sale. Come on in and buy something if you missed someone on your Xmas list!" Noh-
ohki swatted at the key before it repeated itself.

Mal smiled,"Oh it's definitely working!"

Eld looked ready to kill.

Astrala snuck to Ami and pointed. Ami nodded inconspicuously. She was already 
thinking of how to diffuse things,"Um... Malahelicon..."

"Call me Malhificion right now. I'm quite male. Or at least the illusion is."

"Um..."

Malahelicon studied a massive book in front of her... err him,"Everyone calls me 
Mal in the fic so far," the book vanished.

Eldrick blinked,"Was that the fic?"

"Yep."

"It's HUGE!"

"Naw... I like large type."

"But still."

"It's good and big."

The box bonged and Hope blurted out,"Hai Eld's good and big."

Haris burst out laughing and Hope turned red.

Mal smiled,"Gotta love that box."

Ami stepped in front of Eld and addressed Mal,"About that box. Is there some 
wacky quest we have to do to get rid of it?"

Mal considered,"Sure... but it's safer to leave the box up there... then to 
undertake it."

BONG... and with that Joy began chasing Gala around Mal's head trying to catch 
and grope her.

Joy was yelling something like,"Pixie's need love too!"

And Gala was replying with something along the lines of,"No we don't!"

Mal ALMOST seemed to twitch,"Okay... you have to stop Peer by New Years Day. 
That's all. It wouldn't hurt to solve some other PLOT POINTS though too."

"What Plot Points... and why can I swear you said that in all caps?"

Mal was officially hanging from the ceiling gasping for his life. Washuu just 
waved at him. "Where the heck did you come from?"

"I'm in the fic too. I am Washuu the greatest scientific genius in the universe! 
Would you be Malahelicon?"

Mal leapt back to the ground with style and grace, and a shift back to HER real
form. A Black haired woman with both bat and angel wings -a set of each- and let 
us not forget that patented expression of hers. Yes Mal was finally making it 
easier on the author.

<02/09/01>

[Yay *finger twirl*- Not impressed much Zin]

"Since everyone keeps misnaming me... for now I will appear as I truly am." Mal
paused,"Washuu put the equipment away!"

"Someone isn't enjoying the fic anymore," Washuu observed.

"It's just that Voyager is on and your all making me miss it. I loved this
particular rerun."

Eldrick has a devious look,"Say... we'll all let you watch Voyager... if you
take the box off the ceiling. I have to stop Peer anyway."

Malahelicon thought it over for a minute,"Sorry not interested."

Eldrick looked over Mal's shoulder,"Yeah! ECH! Go Doctor go!"

Malahelicon was visibly quivering,"You win," The box vanished after one final
bong that didn't seem to do anything. Astrala busied herself in the kitchen
while Workbot saw to Malahelicon's creature comforts once again. Everyone not
involved in the Voyager Reruns adjourned just up stairs.

Arcade machines whirled to life, the nice big happy -half dead- machine that
allowed Eld to become Max Sterling remained quiet. From the smell in the room it
would turn on no more. Joy looked pensive,"I still say I'm sorry. I should have
not linked up with that _Tentacle Hunter Rondo_ anime. I didn't know the machine
was almost dead."

Eldrick smiled and lifted her chin,"You only saved me the trouble of just trying
to use it one or 2 more times and messing things up in my alternate life. Now I
can replace the motherboard in earnest without procrastinating. The next board
will be even stronger. Multiple Access nodes. Multiple carriers per node."

Joy blinked, and looked at Hope while Eldrick continued babbling,"What's he
saying? You'll be able to have sex with it?"

Hope shook her head,"No. He is stating that it will be multiplayer with each
player able to have multiple personas."

"Why didn't he just say that?"

"So he could goose you for not listening?"

"Huh?" And Joy was goosed. "Ah... I see," she pouted when Eld took his hand away.

Eldrick smirked and finished,"It's a good thing the board fried because we'll 
need the new board to go in and stop Peer. If we go in physically we'll be at an 
even bigger disadvantage. This way we can just disconnect. AND he won't know who 
we are."

Joy raised her hand but Ami pulled it back down. Ami smiled,"So Eld... what about
sex in the machine?"

Eldrick blushed,"Well uh... um..."

Washuu answered,"Yep. I had to handle everything Eld felt was beyond him. So I 
added a few things. A little here... a little there... full suite of monitoring 
and data analysis options. The chairs aren't ready yet save the 2 currently. So 
draw straws to see who besides Eld gets to create their characters first," she 
looked at Eldrick,"Oh Eldy-poo... go ahead and login. I uploaded some characters 
I found in the recent stack with your name on them."

"I wanna watch the lots."

"No. Get in. Strawberry's working on the other chairs as we speak. She could 
even be done. So find the town and have some Sake or something. It's got 
everything! I'm a genius!"

Eldrick sat down and strapped in all just to not hear Washuu's laughing. And 
his world view shifted. He had no idea what he would find on the other side.

To be Continued.

<end chapter 02/19/01>

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                                "Cast" Addendums

Dungeon Magazine is a monthly magazine with Maps and Adventures for D&D 3rd 
Edition. The issue in question is the December -?- one featuring "Drow Declare 
War on Humanity." Which isn't exactly what's going on... certainly not with how 
I played with the plot when running my friend through it. Also within the course 
of referencing it for The Arc it will have functional changes. -1/15/01

OnsenMark is currently writing his acceptance speech for having the "Princely 
Kiss? Or Eyeball Chew Prelude?" idea. When he has written it, I shall include it 
here. -1/15/01

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