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Because I have nothing better to do Productions
An Eldrick Tobin project
From "It makes sense in my head" Theater
A story of The Arc
Joyful Noise Unit 03:
He recalled the days way back when. When he had almost endless victories. There were only occasional setback and everything got thwarted back then. Tough but idyllic. Good for heroes right?
Well, all that had finally caught up with him... 5 major defeats in as many months. And only one victory to show for it... and a way too public one at that. Sure he had defeats... but they were never quite as bad as these... and then... that totally accidentally newscast victory.
If he had a nervous twitch his face would be bouncing on the floor. He'd become someone else out there. Two completely different someone's in fact.
Both ridiculously powerful...
3 DAYS AGO
The grass stilled, as if by a hand holding every blade motionless. Clouds above moved quickly by... not pausing to even look on the scene below them. The air held a stagnant quality... like a crypt.
Eldrick hung nearly lifeless from the blasted open cockpit of Thyra. His blue and silver VF-1J Valkyrie sporting it's own wounds.
A 9th blast ripped into Thyra sending her up into the air losing Eldrick in the process as he found the ground on a personal level. Eldrick a bit more conscious looked over at his gloating attacker... gleaming in the evening light. "Wipe... that smirk... off... your... face,' Eldrick said as he tried to get to his knees.
YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE WHO HAS WON AND WHO HAS LOST, The attacker spoke and quick pointed at his Guyvered chest with an equally bio boosted thumb, I AM THE WINNER AGAIN.
Eldrick barely standing now leveled an arm at his enemy. Not caring if he was wasting his time he let Lossoth in his guise as "Rick Hunter" in Guyver armor have it with all 8 barrels of the laser array built into his flight suit's armor.
THAT WAS... MEGA - EMBARRASSING! PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE MORE IN YOUR ARSENAL THAN THAT! I KNOW! RUSH IS GOING TO COME TO YOUR RESCUE RIGHT NOW RIGHT... WAIT I DON'T SEE HIM. MUST BE OFF DRINKING WATER LIKE IT'S GOING OUT OF STYLE. HA HA HA!!
Eldrick tossed up a Wind Screen to keep back the onlookers who he'd finally noticed.
NO NO NO I WANT THEM TO GET HURT I WANT THEM TO DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE TRY TO SAVE YOU. I WANT THEIR BLOOD ON THE FLOOR AS MUCH AS YOURS! WHATEVER POWER NEEDS TO HAVE SACRIFICED TO IT TO GIVE ME MORE.
The screen died in ravenous flames... which blew onlookers dresses around.
HMM... PERHAPS THEY NEED TO BE SACRIFICED FOR MY POWER... YES... THE RED HEAD FIRST... WHAT DO YOU CALL HER... I ONLY KNOW HER OTHER NAME. BRINGING HER BACK INTO THE FOLD MIGHT BE A GREAT FEAT... BUT WHEN I KILL HER AFTERWARDS THE POWER I MIGHT WELL GAIN. OH! I'M ALL TINGLY!!!
Eldrick's flightsuit disengaged and he stepped out in his "plugsuit" barely able to stand.
I HOPE THIS IS YOU CONCEDING YOUR LIFE TO ME.
"Not hardly!" Eldrick reached up and the sword WindFang appeared above him just out of reach. And lo as he reached up, Eldrick convulsed suddenly. A Great pain visibly washed over him.
OH WELL FUN'S OVER. YOU DIE AND I TAKE THE REDHEAD FOR MYSELF. And then he rained fire out of the ground and into the sky where Eldrick lay motionless. WHAT'S THIS? NO DISINTERGRATION... HMM MORE POWER.
Lady Kintaro was distraught... as were all the girls... beaten around as they were from earlier parts of the battle they couldn't watch this. Ami finally gained the strength to speak,"El... drick..." and reached out for him. A lance of fire shot into the ground from the Guyvered Leon McNichol clone. She looked angrily at the villain.
NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION JUST QUITE THE WHINING FOR NOW BITCH I'LL GET TO YOU LATER. THEN WE'LL PARTY LIKE IT'S UNIVERSAL CENTURY 0069... CAUSE I HAVE A WAR IN MY POCKET... A PARTY IN MY PANTS YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE.
"You gutless muck fucking heathen," came a voice that did not have a face to attach to it. It continued as everyone hunted for it's source,"How dare you insult MY precious Ami with such trash talk. It MUST come from being in hell so much. Shovel shit... and you start to wreak of it."
WHO'S THE UNCLEFUCKING SOB WHO'S INSULTING ME!
Then the fires in the area... cut off like they'd been on a switched source... as the one where Eldrick was lit like a great bonfire. Out of that fire as "Rick" stuttered impotently, stepped... Dark Schneider? Naked for all the world to see he walked forward and kind of stumbled a bit for a second as the fire died behind him. "On your belly bug, and maybe just maybe you'll only walk away with your neck reduced to a bloody stump. A Fitting punishment for he who has caused me harm, you eviscerated pile of ragged innards."
By Ami there was quite a stir going on as magicks flowed to discover where Eldrick was with Dark Schneider stepped in to help. Ami just smiled and said,"That... IS Eld... the arms... the marks... they are his..."
4 red eyes regarded Darsh... and one set just blinking and the other going bug eyed... of course her eyes probably looked elsewhere... Joy was just like that. Hope spoke then,"You are correct... that somehow... is Eld."
Margo stood then, leveling a knowing gaze on the scene,"That isn't Darsh though..."
Konei blinked,"You know his aura is all wrong... so what is powering that spell though..."
Ardice just offhandedly said,"Oh the spell is probably being powered by the Nanites within Eld."
"Ardice... is that the spell I think it is?" Asked Charhon going over her magick notes visibly.
Haris snorted,"It's Exodus alright. Why do you ask?"
"Then Haris we should move and quickly!!"
"What? Damn you're right!"
And it was too late... Lossoth just baited this... Mock... Dark Schneider while obvious energies flexed... but figured it all a sham... after all Eldrick has real magick not this electro-magnetic light show... And also... Lossoth is a bit dense...
The spell fired off, and it hit Rick and the general area with about half the force one would expect... but all in a very small area. Even still the extra energy turned into thick bolts of lightning... blasting off everywhere... some arcing towards the party... all stopping short and hitting a spot in front of the group...
When the sparks stopped flying a Pink Haired girl turned and gave them the thumbs up... steam escaping her arm vents. She'd absorbed all the lightning like most would breath.
"You guys are so lucky a genius such as myself decided to stop by with our friend here... or you'd be soaking more injuries away then you are going to have to as it is. All in a days work... now if only Chibi 2 here would pick a name and stick to it," chided Washuu-chan.
"I can stick with a few," said... she who once was the spitting image of ChibiUsa... well save the fact she's a boomer but still. Or was a boomer? "Besides isn't the fact my Evil former Master is standing up after that blast more important right now?"
Everyone changed their attention directive to the battlefield again... where... a de-guyvered Leon McNichol clone going by the FanSpace name of Rick Hunter crawled out of a crater. He coughed once... and looked for his adversary... only to find a little greenhaired boy offering him his hand out of the hole.
Astrala fed up with not seeing over the others astonished backs flexed her will and "Tsunami-fied" and had a look for herself,"Washuu-chan... that's Eldrick too isn't it? What happened to the Mock DS?"
"My you are taller... than when you normally get this way... when we get back I'd like to..." she saw the glare," Well it seems he's... tapped out... and this is what happens... it must be due to the switch to the nonmagical power source."
Haris narrowed her eyes,"What I'd like to know is why he's helping Lossoth out of that hole for."
"He's not himself... not remotely... this is probably all Nanite... and they burned out their cognitive perhaps?"
"I don't want to be the voice of doom," Charhon said carefully," But if he goes over to evil in this state... does it count?"
"Lossoth would win," Ami said suddenly in the silence," I won't fight Eldrick... I'd die first... I'd change sides myself."
Margo smiled darkly,"As would most of us... regardless of what the Author might dictate. None of us could abandon him... but let's leave that for later... I might get a worry line."
Ardice shook with frustration,"But what do we do about this now!"
Boomergirl said,"Radar presents an answer," and pointed up.
A Silhouette approached outta no where as Lossoth appraised the boy... visibly leaping back from the kid when he realized the boy was ELDRICK.
"What the hell!" was all Rick got to say before the silhouette became the form of a giant robot of some type and kicked Lossoth into a building.
The Innocent little boy with green hair looked up at the mech as it landed,"Yay! You're here Garon!"
Washuu asked Chibi 2,"What are the specs on that?"
"It's a Gear... or at least the technology is derived from the game Xenogears... err Realm... wow I was just playing that game and now it's right in front of me," she blinked,"What AM I saying? This is you're doing isn't it Washuu-chan... my brain is scrambled!"
"The transition from chip to Circuit is strenuous... give it time. It's not perfect... but at least you aren't a boomer anymore."
"Silver lining silver lining silver lining... right."
Tsu-Astrala eeped and pointed losing concentration and size,"He got up again!!"
Konei smiled at Astrala and helped her up,"Thanks for the running comment Astrala-chan. It really sets the mood."
Astrala just sweatdropped,"Getting compliments from you isn't the high point right now."
"Just tell me when it is okay."
"Um... okay."
Rick dusted himself off,"That hurt...you and your little tinkertoy are going done brat!"
"Garon... I'm scared," was the boy's only reply. Garon put action rather than words in... he stepped hard on the ground with a foot... sending Lossoth into the air. Rushing forwards in a blink Lossoth got practically hacky-sack bounced from killer punch to massive kick about the local area before Garon brought both arms back and Hammered Lossoth into the ground. So hard was that smack that lava poured out of the hole.
The onlooking cheered the sight while the little boy just bent to spit polishing Garon who'd gotten dusty fighting that mean old man.
Eventually he finished and Garon waved to the boy before flying off... at which time the Boy became Eldrick again... and swaggering but a second... fell like a stack of cards. Chibi 2 was the only one with the energy to get over there and catch him. She carried him back effortlessly and presented him to Ami who still being in FanSpace looked like Shayla Shayla.
Afterall who had the strength to walk through a portal now? Leaned over each other as they were. Quite the fanservicey mess.
Anyway Washuu gave the nod that he was fit for transport and Chibi 2 brought over one of the cars via a portal. Genius became nurse as people were bandaged then placed in the car. She of course took sample data to help with their next fight... she was getting sick of playing nurse to this mangle-able bunch.
With everyone in the vehicle it drove through the portal... FanSpace pulling it's guises back from the intrepid heroes...
But that day wasn't over yet... Afterall they haven't checked the mail yet.
=o==o==o==o==o=
"Eldrick... can you hear me? Eldrick... it's Washuu... can you hear me?" She raised one of his eyelids at that point.
.o0(I hear you fine)0o. He thought he said.
Washuu pulled back a few feet. Composing herself since he'd spoken not via his mouth but seemingly from an ear... she moved apparatus in. "Repeat for confirmation."
.o0(I hear you fine)0o. He said still not moving. His eyebrows furrowed .o0(Why aren't my lips moving... I'm moving my arms but I KNOW they aren't moving!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!)0o.
"Calm down now Eld... I'll figure out what it is."
.o0(Oh... okay... but do it fast I can't take this! It's like I don't freaking exist!!!)0o.
"Would you like to know how everyone else is?"
.o0(Um... yeah... it'll take my mind off this...)0o.
"Well everyone is sleeping soundly... Chibi 2 and myself took care of everyone."
A Familiar... sorta... voice chimed in,"I don't wanna be called Chibi 2... I like Strawberry just fine."
.o0(Is that?)0o.
"Oh you probably can't recognize my voice anymore... remember the boomer you saved from Lossoth? Well that's me. I'm slowly undergoing Marionette conversion. I'll be my own being... not just a look alike for a cute future ruler of Crystal Tokyo. Only..."
.o0(Only?)0o.
"Only it seems there are alot of bugs... My voice is different... I sometimes look at things I know well like I've never seen them before... and... my internal clock never has the right time! But I don't blame Washuu... Terra 2 isn't an easy world to get to... so she had to email Otaru... and there was line noise... I'm glad I'm still alive."
.o0(Ouch...)0o.
"As for how everyone is doing there all fine it was a really cool fight..."
Washuu cut in fast. No telling how depressed he'd get hearing what had happened. 'What now my Nanites are omnipotent!!!!' or worse... "Um... yes Chibi 2 and I showed up as Dark Schneider came to enact revenge for trying to replace his Yoko with a boomer..."
"Huh? That's... mmph."
Washuu gave a silencing gesture to "Strawberry" after removing her hand and then continued,"Yep it was Dark Schneider... albeit naked as a jaybird. He Exodus'd Rick then left... and just then a little boy from an Alternate Xenogears timeline showed up... a little boy who looked like Emerald... cute and innocent... with a massive gear who beat the tar out of Mr. Leon clone. Then we piled everyone into the car and portalled back... that was 3 days ago. I've been keeping Ami Hope and Joy sedated for healing purposes. The stand ins for Hope and Joy have been working out nicely... and the demonettes are cocooned splendidly. Nice way to regenerate I say."
Eldrick stirred a little bit and groaned,"Ouch... that damn that spell took alot out of me."
.o0(Who the heck is speaking... why am I moving?)0o.
Eldrick spoke with a voice that wasn't his... not at all,"Easy in there... I'm hung over," 'Eldrick' shook his head and the hair went white!
"Damnit he's changing again. Strawberry get the Nano suppressor!"
"Oh I'm just fine over here you red headed babe. I'll give Eldrick control again soon enough. Lossoth is the badguy here not me," Darsh smiled his grin,"You know you're cute."
"And a genius at that. Two things I'm very aware of. What I want to know right now is are you really Dark Schneider?"
"Who me? Not remotely. I'm just a manifestation of the will of the Nanocolony. Nothing more. Same with the little boy. I however don't know where the Gear comes from. Hard to talk to a defense subprocess."
"The boy isn't in there somewhere also?"
"Nope... just me and Eld... nothing else. Like I said he's a colony self preservation mechanism... the PASSIVE one. The colony reverts to that when out of power. My Exodus took a lot out of the already weak colony. Any other questions or can we go straight to sex?"
Washuu snapped her fingers and chains held Dark Schneider down. "I'll ask you to not move again please. I don't need a Gear tromping around my lab. The Colony is low on power from my readings."
.o0(Why didn't you tell me this the first time?)0o. It sounded like he'd been quiet for a while now... digesting what was said... but not accepting it.
Mock Dark Schneider smiled,"Cause they didn't want to fry your noodle. Fried noodles are for eating not talking to."
.o0(I want my body back you.)0o.
"Simmer down. We have to charge the colony first... and you can't quite take that. I can't really either but it's for the colony. Now my cute little genius could you let me out of these restraints and point me to a Lightning chamber? It's the fastest way besides plugging us into a wall."
Washuu closed her eyes,"It's up to you Eldrick."
.o0(Do it... I need to have... a chat with my Nanites.)0o.
"Do you get it you idiot? The only reason you are alive is because of them. How fucking many times have you died and they had to construct enough of you to drop a Phoenix Down on? Shall I give you the god damned listing?! Stop being an ungrateful whiny little shit and show some fucking sense!! They don't even ask thanks from you, and here you were going to berate them for having a little ingenuity. I'm kinda the conscious will to keep your Ass out of hospital beds. The Little boy and his Metal man are the last resort to keep your ass out of these. Or would you rather still be on that battlefield getting you and those you love kicked around like ragdolls? Now while he's absorbing that... to the Chamber. I've got Arshes Nei hentai to get back to."
.o0(Is that what this computer is for? Whoa... Yoko and the Princess Yuri!)0o.
Chibi 2... Strawberry... whatever you wanna call her finally spoke,"I wonder if the little Boy is a deve too," she giggled.
"What's that my metal maiden? Are you calling me a Deviant? I'll have you know I am a connoisseur!" Announced a hurt DS clone.
.o0(Suuuuure... right... not according to what I'm seeing. Can we get this over with... I... we... need to hit the bathroom.)0o.
"My thoughts exactly... and nothing perverted Dark Schneider... I'm old enough to be your GREAT Grand Mother and Chibi 2 over here is only a few months old." Washuu released the chains on him.
"As you wish... but I could show either of you a wonderful time. What do you say?"
"The Lightning Bombardment should curb your libido," said Washuu flatly.
"I'm hurt... ouch."
"Aren't you supposed to be swearing more?" asked Chibi 2.
Darsh shrugged,"I'm based on the dubbed to English... not the subtitle. Why do you ask... would you like me to be more rude? I could be rude for you."
She slipped away very quickly,"Yeah you need to get struck by lightning alright... cause you're a DEVE."
"Am not."
"Are too... you deve."
Washuu smirked,"Alright now that's enough kids... we have Nanites to feed."
.o0(Here here.)0o.
And MDS as he told everyone to call him when he could formally stand and bow was lead to an airtight room with 4 big cannons aimed at him. He tossed the bed sheet to the side as the room filled with water. A waldo removed the sheet, and another bought down an air mask but Darsh refused it. He hadn't been breathing anyway.
Washuu shrugged and told Chibi 2 to send the charge into the buffer now. And she did so releasing all the power she'd stored from the blasting she'd taken earlier.
When it was all over Washuu purged the tank of water... and a panting Eldrick stood up in the chamber. It appeared to be a success.
"What... are you doing to him now Washuu? Body cavity search?" Asks someone staggering in wrapped in a blanket.
"Lady Ami... you really should still be in bed."
Ami Kintaro smiled,"Oh I'm alright I'm staggering from the sedative you gave me. It's a bit strong. And you know much like and adventuring party in a role playing game... after 24 hours we could have just used magick to heal."
Washuu laughed nervously,"I was so busy making sure Eldrick was okay I totally forgot."
Strawberry tapped a button and the Airtight room opened and Eldrick breathed deep panting. Chibi 2 just looked at Washuu,"And this time you forgot about him. Geniuses... it's amazing you don't blow yourselves up. Guess I'll HAVE to stick around to make sure you don't hurt yourself."
Ami blinked,"You aren't coming to the House? We added a floor under the basement so the Girls can all have their own rooms. We added alot of rooms in fact. You could easily have one."
"But Lady Kintaro if I did take a room... Eld would spend time talking to ME and not ChibiUsa who needs a friend. Besides there's plenty of room here... and Washuu needs an assistant who isn't deathly afraid of her." Washuu smiled... but Strawberry continued,"Besides I'm not done yet and she'd better finish me or else." Washuu's smile became a sweatdrop.
Eldrick spoke into the silence,"Yes well... I'll move the clan back on Home to stop cluttering your living space. Be sure to tell me what I can do to make up for all this."
Washuu smiled her evil smile and was suddenly drawing circles on his chest with her finger,"Well you know what's in a few days... let me take you to dinner. How's that... I know this great buffet... maybe you've heard of it. Won Toh's."
"I've... heard of it... I'm a regular..."
"Then it's settled you'll take me to dinner. Or rather I'll take you... My my I feel so forward!"
Strawberry held up a sign *Shouldn't they just get a room?*
"Well now 'berry-chan let's get our guests back home."
"Neh can't you just call me Strawberry?"
"Listen... it's Chibi 2 or Berry-chan or... ChibiBerry."
"Baka Washuu." Strawberry sighed.
Washuu smiled.
=o==o==o==o==o=
Narrator -sounds like Kaji: We'll just speed up this next stuff... hard to put in details that won't just slow the action to a crawl. And we all want a little action now and then don't we? *sounds of check being written for the cameo voice*
When they got back home. . . WorkBot got Eldrick's attention and lead him to the living room.
Eldrick passed out. What had done that? Well... there were BIG piles of mail cluttering the living room. He had posters... fan made videos of the fight... monetary donations... every bit of it thank you notes for being the hero and saving everyone from the Evil Wretched Pit-Dwelling (etc) Lossoth.
One particularly disturbing one was a congratulations for accepting the standing duty to Obliterate the menace.
In everyone's eyes... he was the Official Being who would smite Lossoth once and for all.
This made Eldrick faint again... kinda like when he saw someone had sent him a Mascot. A Windup Ryo'ohki. He handed it to an eager to have it Astrala. She fired it up... and Noh'ohki stretched and yawned and to Eldrick's understanding alone... asked for a carrot. Eldrick Fainted Again.
=o==o==o==o==o=
Who had sent the cabbitoid, was still being tossed about. Noh'ohki as the ribbon around it's neck -well it was there... Noh'ohki had issues with being considered cute... you had to pay for such things to happen around the fuzzball. Noh'ohki also had a list of things the animatronic cabbit wanted to be called. "It" "Noh'ohki" "Fuzzball" "Cabbitoid" -and boy was it vehement about that...
Astrala was truly puzzled,"Why can't we call you cabbit? You're one aren't you?"
Noh'ohki's response was a series of Raor's Ra's Raor's Raraor's you get the idea... and only Eldrick could make sense of it... he heard only words... not all the meowing.
Narrator -Sounds Like Misato: For the duration of it's stay, translations of the
cabbitoid's words shall be done with double double quotes. Sorry for the mental inconvenience this will probably cause. Oh put away the checkbook... just let PenPen use your pool for a while. Oh that's fair? Great.
""I don't do the whole metamorphosis into a space craft thing. It's not me... too much energy... I'm a henshin mascot. Henshin Mascots are usually invulnerable and only serve to tell the hero things... usually wisecracks... and when they have to change into Pretty Idol God Pork Ingot the True Lawgiver Extraordinaire. We don't fight... we don't help out... we just hover about and half heartedly if at all encourage them to continue smiting the evil that can't be identified by even dental X-ray. Think about it this way... how many carrots do you think it would take to power me up enough to transform... now think about me not wanting to do it... and there being nothing you can do about it? There is no code of conduct... it's HM discretion...""
""Now... I'm hungry and feeling nice so I'll do tricks... for carrots... lots of carrots. And not just any garden variety carrots either. So who wants to see me do a trick?""
Eldrick looked at the cabbitoid that was ignoring him and fired one carrot at it. 4 seconds before impact he said "Catch!" and clocked the furball off Astrala's head. However it landed on it's hindlegs and there was no sign of the carrot. It leapt to Astrala's head with a belch, and settled in for a nap.
Astrala sighed having the micro-entrepreneur on her head,"At least he's light."
""I said I'm not to be called he or she... I'm an it. No junior... no here kitty... no Polly wanna cracker... no who's a good boy -not that I'd expect that one- just Noh'ohki, furball, fuzzball, cabbitoid, animatronic cabbit, or it. Other names just lead to coy things happening and I don't like coy. Well maybe if it is K-O-I and served with tartar sauce and a nice carrot side dish... or the whole love (koi) and justice thing... but that's it. Now my sleeps whenever it can trick that I was trying to do a second ago,"" it finished and laid it's head back down.
Haris smirked,"Neh Astrala... you SURE you want that furbeast near you... it certainly isn't as cute as you thought it was..."
Astrala smiled,"Even EVIL needs love."
Charhon rose to make some tea for Margo,"Well at any rate with manners like that you should get along fine with it Haris."
"I thought evil was your bag of tricks Charhon... didn't it come with the snottiness?"
"Why you... how dare you!!" Charhon hissed... Haris however was already making tea,"Hey no ignoring me when I'm arguing with you!"
"At me... get the sugar."
Charhon snatched the sugar out of the pantry and thrust it at Haris with a nice big 'I'm so put upon' look. Haris handed the heavy tray to WorkBot and cheerfully went about serving everyone. Charhon gave her the evil eye,"Why are you so happy?"
Haris paused,"Lemme think... I won the draw? I get to be first in the sex events later... which means I can take as much time as I want..."
Most smiled big as they thought of the upcoming events... Eldrick blushed 8 different shades... while Hope just shared a really light smile with her tea.
Noh'ohki yawned mightily and woke up,""So Eldrick... buddy... what henshins do you need me to store? I'm reconfigured now.""
Eldrick splurted tea on Joy who was trying to feed him sugar cubes from her mouth... and not suceedding. She looked down at her wet shirt waved her hand at the liquid and it sluced off onto the floor where WorkBot was already busy. She then took off the top anyway and taking Eldirck's hand showed him just how dry they were.
Noh'ohki leapt to his shoulder, had a look for some reason at Joy's bare chest, and then asked again,"" What Henshins? I wouldn't have been assigned unless you had some. ""
"Um err... the Nanites take care of it."
""No... OTHER henshins... I know about those... magical... or magickal henshins...""
"I don't have any."
""Well you have to... after the Dinner Date with Washuu... well the next day,"" it coughed,""We'll head to Henshin Dynamics... and pick some stuff out. Don't you own that?""
"Uh yeah... but I thought they did Transformation research."
""They Do.""
"For vehicles, you nit."
""They do smeghead. They also do personal tranformation research. They put you in a vat and figure out what you want by genotyping and other cryptic stuff I won't mention cause Konei's brain is frying.""
Konei passed out holding up a little notecard with "Thank you" on it.
""Her mental microwaves don't quite reach the burrito do they?""
Konei popped up thinking about food,"Then they'll just need a few more minutes to cook. Neh when were they put in?"
Astrala took the hint and said,"2 minutes from now Konei you'll just have to be patient."
"But I'm hungry now!"
Noh'ohki reached into one of it's big floppy ears and pulled out a ball of string. ""Oh go play!""
Konei went starry-eyed and leapt after the ball of yarn. She was soon tangled. Hopelessly and without help... but boy was she happy.
""Now... any preferences?""
Eldirck groaned,"It's you department I don't understand that stuff... besides aren't you not supposed to know what you'll be?"
Noh'ohki pawpatted the side of Eld's face and leapt into the air,""Fine I'll do all the talking when we get there.""
Ardice was suddenly facing down the floatin fuzzball,"Oh no he is not aggreeing to that you... and how is it you know all our names already... eh? I don't remember introductions save you to us!"
Eldrick ventured,"Preprogrammed?"
"Eldrick Tobin you know this is the fishiest stuff that's happened here yet... You don't know what Henshin Dynamics does in those vats... or what their security is... They could be cloning you... or worse... You wanna step out with your nice shiny transformations only to find out you change and lose time... and wake up in Interdimensional Jail?"
""Hey I thought I was the culprit of evil here... don't rag on him... Trust is a nice thing to have,"" Noh'ohki chided.
Margo plucked it out of the air and sat down with it on her lap and a small comb,"We just wanna know we can trust you... or who to hurt if we can't... that's all. Now sit still."
Ardice nodded,"I'll look him up in the mascot database and see who he's been assigned to before," said Ardice as she started climbing the stairs... and bumped into Washuu.
Washuu smiled at her,"Not to worry... I know all Noh'ohki's details. He works for Hell."
"How can you smile? He's evil!" Ardice turned around pulling a Rune Axe out of Hammerspace.
"Oh? Remember you're own roots."
"But! Yeah I guess you're right."
"I'm always right Ardice. I'm a Genius," she cackled that mad scientist cackle of hers,"You see I turned your security system off when I saw the package arrive... I wanted to know what it was... but with all the injuries to treat I didn't get a chance to transfer the box to my lab. Then I I transferred sensor records over... did a search on the results and looked the bugger up."
Margo held the little fuzzbag down... not that it wasn't just trying to hide behind her anyway... Ardice still had the Axe out. ""Can I explain?"" it mewed.
Washuu did her happy nod. Eldrick chugged a glass of tea... he foresaw much talking for the cabbitoid.
""Alright... I work for the Lord of Bad Fanfic... I mean wind up cabbit? Come on... if I was a girl would I be Ifur'ohki? [Ifurita is a "Demon Goddess" from El Hazard... she occassioanly needs to be wound up. - Zin the Mysterious Explainer] Well anyway... I got one of those offers you can't refuse... I could leave Hell's service... but only if I made this place weirder. That's it... you can stop staring at me now. There isn't anything more... ISN'T THAT JUST POINTLESS? I mean even the worst of Anime has better reasons... right?""
Washuu twitched,"No I've seen worse once..."
""Oh yeah the Saban Sailor Moon trailer... you watched it?""
"Yep."
""It's a small shoulder... bu you can cry on it...""
Ardice put the axe away,"Why is the Cheesemagnet sending you to bother us? I think it's bad enough as it is... no Eld I don't mean the house... I mean fighting Lossoth."
""Well there's enough sex... though he says that is dropping off... ahem... anyway... he says the silliness has vanished so in I came.""
Eldrick muttered it was plenty silly.
""Ah but it's not silly enough that it's unbelievable... well maybe that whole Lance Fight... but you were both godmoding... nothing to be done... you have more imagination than Lossoth. Besides Flames are reactions... not really actions...""
Haris leaned in on the cabbit... and had to brush Joy off herself... and asked the cabbit,"So Lossoth is trying to kick Malehificion out again isn't he?"
""Yeah... can't stand powers that almost encroach on his own... hate fic IS considered bad fic usually...""
"And Lossoth doesn't know how to share..."
""Bingo... so what should I get Eld here at HD?""
The topic broken like a liquid nitrogen frozen toothpick dropped on the floor, the tension if indeed there was any bled from the room like a hemophilliac anime guy caught in the woman's bath. The only rough spot on the smooth running of the rest of the evening being whn Ego whined about having eaten all the ice cream and getting blasted at by Noh'ohki's Forehead Crystal.
MEANWHILE IN A HIGHRISE CONDO IN HELL
"Oh this is perfect," danced Malehificion in yet another new guise... and with his voice modulator at the shop he didn't sound all that malevolent. "This could turn out better than Shining Fist of the North Star. Boy what a Gundam story that was... too bad the fic series died when the author was smited once too often for writing it. Though a series that HAS to be more than one chapter being only one chapter adds greatness to it that length might have taken away... This 'Arc' looks like it's my ace in the hole for Nerdvana... long pointless... and discombobulated! Now to just bring it futher from the light of happiness and further into the depths of weird... and it might out shine a Chaosfic on pure... something... but it'll be weirder and that's what counts. Maybe it needs another fanboys crossover chapter... yeah... Carnage blasted ChibiUsa again... yeah... a revengefic will happen... yeah... woohoo... it's good to be me... I just wish I could afford better help. Noh'ohki'll botch this I know it... and the series will become noble and just or something. Can't have that... it must suck... it has to suck... and when it's the suckiest suck to ever suck... it'll be perfect... and I'll achieve Nerdvana," he went SD and did the twist in zeal!
JUST DON'T FORGET my PLANS YOU nutsucking freeloading IDIOT, said Lossoth entering and looking visibly nauseated... the "nurse" pushing his wheelthrone rushing over the emesis basin.
"Oh of course not! Noh'ohki has it's instructions."
GOOD.
"You mean bad... cause we're evil remember."
OH HUSH BALLSNIFFER.
"I'm not the one with a male nurse."
SHE MADE ME... AND TOOK my NURSE FOR HERSELF.
"Boy are you whipped."
THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL AT HOME.
"Welcome... I'm not used to flaming though."
THAT'S WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU.
"I'll get further out of practice then."
AT THE DINNER DATE [AuthorEldrickDid you want the sex? oh sorry... I was gonna highlight the time AFTER... you'll have to be patient... you know how hard it is to write that stuff?]
[Ego: Obviously Impossible... you suck at it.]
[AuthorEldrick: Bite me.]
Washuu was in Adult mode... no -chaning her name today... and she stood calmly against the wall of Won Toh's Chinese Buffet... married men averted their gaze lest they be drawn in... and pummeled half to death by their wives.
There was only one man she had an eye out for... and he was 30 seconds late.
Then... she saw his car drive into the ample lot... and she then groaned for him as people rushed the vehicle but were pushed back by Men with Jurai Staves dressed as waiters. Won Toh motioned Washuu over and he escorted her himself to the car and opened the door himself also. Washuu sweatdropped to see everyone had crammed into the car... this wasn't according to her plan. Eldrick went around back and popped the trunk... only to close it again. He held up 5 fingers and then waited. 5 minutes later he opened the trunk again and Konei and Gerard exited the vehicle. Washuu groaned.
Eldrick walked over to Washuu,"I couldn't stop them. Noh brought up the buffet..."
"I should have known. There go my plans."
Eldrick blinked,"Plans?"
Ami Kintaro came out of the passenger seat and stopped holding on to Noh'ohki who meowed like he was gonna be sick from the ride. While Hope handed him some magic dramamine, Ami said,"Oh no Washuu... you guys are here together... we'll be at another table entirely. *I* brought everyone else. They need to have the Won Toh experience."
Won Toh bowed,"You do me too much honor. I am but a simple food merchant."
Everyone else exited the car and it drove itself to a reserved spot. Autographs were asked for... and names weren't confused with the stars they were modeled after.
Ami smiled,"An EXCELLENT food merchant," She offered him her hand.
"I try Kintaro-san... I try. The people like it... I still feel awe that it is so well liked," He turned and blinked when Joy pulled his other arm around her waist and sighing leaned into his shoulder as they walked. "Joy-san."
"Ohayo," was all the lady with her eyes closed said as the three went foreward.
Hope turned to Eldirck and Washuu,"I think I'll leave ahead of you. Best for last and all that. She brushed at her kimono feeling it dirty and not up to being seen in. As she walked down the walkway to the door people just watched in awe. Every step just right and her hair was motionless as she glided forward. A little girl stepped into the lane and gave her a fan... just a plain white fan.
"Here," was all she said.
"Arigatou gozimasu," was the reply which made the girl blush and run back to her mother. Hope popped the fan in one shot and the crowd roared. She continued on hiding her blushing face behind the paper fan.
Washuu turned to Eldrick,"Shall we?"
Eldrick just nodded and offered her his arm.
=0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0=
Ready? The sex is on it's way... next chapter ^-^
The Lord of Bad Fanfic is stolen... I only heard him/her/it mentioned but I knew they'd fit right in.
The "Theather" Sub-Title is from a friend Casey "Tremolite" McCann
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