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Yes that's the title.

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                           Because I have nothing better to do Productions
                                     An Eldrick Tobin project
                              From "It makes sense in my head" Theater
                                        A story of The Arc

                                     Magical Moments in Mania
                                            Moment Four
                                           
                            The Moment the Cheese Falls Short of the Moon

"So how does this work?"

"You said the words," Fawn spun and waggled a finger at Ardice. The demonete may 
have confessed her feelings... but she still wasn't exactly sure what was up. 
They shared a bed, and they'd held hands.

.o(We haven't done all that just yet.)o. Ardice noted to herself.

"AH! You're thinking naughty things. Ah you're blushing redder they're about 
me!" Fawn nuzzled against Ardice's arm,"You don't have to share. They're your 
thoughts. Though I wonder if they're juicy."

Ardice paused and looker at her.

"You're THOUGHTS."

"Oh right."

"We'll check elsewhere later."

"Oh alas my love is such a deviant," sure she'd said it to get used to the word, 
but it was kinda just for joke factor.

"Says the pirate to her cabinboy."

"Point."

Fawn sighed,"As for 'how this works.' We're in love. It works however we make it 
work. We have the lovey dovey down.

ELSEWHERE

"Miss... Miss... the check... Miss."

"Oh right. Thought I heard my name."

"No one's said," the waiter reads the card," 'Miss Dove' that I've heard."

"Yeah I'm just flakey."

"Uh... yes Miss."

BACK WE GO

"I don't know if you have to worry about wearing a strap-on Fawn."

"Whatever it takes when the time is right for you. I am both patient and 
resourceful," she did a pose and flexed her muscles.

"And I love you for being patient with me."

"I could hear you say 'I Love you' all day. And I love you too."

Ardice waved at her giggling and "Aww that's so sweet" sisters while trying to 
make the lightning of the doom cloud hit them.

"Now if you mean tying men you your wall spanking them or whatever... I really 
kinda think you should stop that. Though it is cute I imagine. 'Say it!' 'You 
are my Queen!' 'Again' 'Great Queen' 'Don't kiss up' 'Please hurt me my Queen.' 
'Don't enjoy it.' 'My Queen' 'In the Key of B Flat' 'o/~ My Queen o/~'"

"It's not like that," she coughed as the lightning hit her. Fawn glared at the 
cloud and it found somewhere else to be. "I did that mostly to get a guy to the 
point where I wanted to date them... only to end up with someone I really didn't 
want. Say Guy F has traits A-E. A and C are fine. B is tolerable... D is right 
out and you could do without E."

"Okay," she motioned for Ardice to sit on the couch as they walked from the 
stairs into the living room. She then crawled into her lap.

"Now you manage to punish and reward out say one bad trait... like D. If you're 
careful a new trait G doesn't rear up, and trait F -his sense of self- doesn't 
go anywhere either. So both emboldened you try to take out trait E. And Zap it's 
gone. Nothing else happens save a small trait G -like Reverence- shows up. So 
far so good."

"And you stop there right?"

"Well typically I try. Then one of 2-3 things happens. Well 2-4 just to be safe 
incase I remember one. 1) It Ends happy there, and I feel bad but sort of good 
because the next girl he lands (well once there was one who landed a guy 
next... the guy was like my doppleganger. Very bizzare.) gets a swell guy - 
well my opinion anyway. 2) Trait B that I thought I could tolerate... I can't. 
It's slowly gotten on my nerves. This leads to me just living with it. If he was 
PERFECT he would have never gotten onto my wall. 3) Just like 2 but I can't deal 
with it and I put him BACK on the wall. And sure I get trait B off... but I 
DAMAGE trait F and whatever trait G was becomes a big problem. And you think 
it's hard getting a trait OFF... try putting it back. It's veritable 
brainwashing.

"The rest are all varients of 2 and 3. Save 4) Which is I totally 'shatter' 
everything but what I liked... leaving this lovable SHELL man. Shell men are 
more like pets than people... and no one should be like that."

"What do you do with Shells?"

"Well if I was lucky someone wanted a guy like that nearby and I handed him 
over - recall this was when I was still working for Slobboth and was surrounded 
by beings who wanted to make slaves of humanity for one reason or another. If I 
was only sort of lucky they were servicable as people and like Amnesiacs could 
adapt to the new state and maybe learn some new traits to make them more like 
people again. Seldom did I just break ties entirely. The chance of 'remission' 
was just too low and sometimes a shell is so broken they just aren't going to be 
people again. Typically I fixed the situation."

"You... 'fixed [it]'?" Fawn gulped.

"Yeah I used magicks to revert them to before I had met them. Sure the good goes 
with the bad... and often for a month or two they'd be down without knowing why - 
brains just work that way. BUT... they're alive."

"Yeah thought you might have Zapped them."

"Naw this was pleasure not business. When your work day is death... offtime has 
got to be something else or you yourself become a shell."

"Does it work that way with sex? I've seen some girls given their walking 
papers. Think that's why?"

"Might well be. So I hope we all learned something," she sighed and looked at 
her audience... who was not just Fawn. Prospect had her hand up. "Yes?"

"Teacher!" she started very very very energetically,"Why haven't you put 
Eldrick."

Fawn smirked,"Or Fawn."

"YES! Or Fawn on your wall?"

Rapture was dressed as a Front Desk News Anchor -suddenly and due to Prospect of 
course- and thus with a sigh held out the Microphone in her hand,"Why dress me 
as a Desk Anchor and then give me a Field mike?"

Prospect Pointed at Joy,"Fanservice."

Joy was somehow attentive to both Rapture and Ardice as Ardice finally 
spoke,"Well at first I thought... it was just because I didn't know him. Then I 
thought it was solely because I liked him already. Then...

SCENE DISSOLVE HENSHIN YO!

Scene Dissolve: Gime me a second!

FINE

"... then I realized he was on a wall. He'd put himself on one. And he was the 
taskmaster as well."

"And Fawn Sensei?"

She looked at Fawn who just batted her eyes innocently,"She's too ticklish."

Joy leapt over and tickled Fawn. Sure enough Fawn was in hysterics. Joy then 
looked over at Rapture who'd dropped the mike and was leaning over for it,"Hey 
Rapture are you ticklish?"

Rapture looked up and over at Joy,"I'm surprised you were looking at my face."

"Why?"

Rapture took off the heels she didn't want to wear anyway and twirled.

"Nice Dress," Joy smiled.

"So you missed being able to practicalyl see my navel from either the top or the 
bottom of this THING Prospect put me in?"

Joy looked dumbstruck,"Missed opportunity," she blinked a few times and her 
tickle ready arms fell,"Denied," she refocused on Rapture and not the 
ceiling,"So... you'll show me again, neh neh?"

"No."

Prospect patted Joy on the back,"Don't worry you can bribe video and still from 
me. How are you at making toast?"

Joy clasped Prospect's hand and shojo lights went on,"I'll learn."

"Sweet Nummy Toast," Prospect sighed and let out some bread colored 
hearts,"Alrighty then. Start learning."

"Alright!" Joy carefully made a show of changing into only an Apron. "Which way 
is the kitchen anyway?"

Astrala sighed,"It's over here! You know the place you find Chocolate syrup?"

"Oh right right. I always lead myself by nose," she smiled a cute smile before 
walking up to Astrala.

Scene Dissolve: I'm ready.

NOT NOW

Scene Dissolve: Jerk.

"Sensei tasukete, onegaigozaimasu!"

"Eh... too formal... wrong image... bad grammar."

Joy looked ready to cry.

"But yes I'mm help you. Don't call me teacher, though."

"Call you Little Astrala?"

Astrala face vaulted.

Scene Dissolve: Dissolving whether you like it or not!

AH PERFECT TIMING!

Scene Dissolve: Jerk.

As the scene dissolved to another Joy remarked,"Oh those are so cute! I want a 
pair just like them!"

"Don't look up your instructor's Apron!"

"Hai Sensei!"

ELSEWHERE-ISH-LIKE-ESQUE-SORTA

Gala floated calmly in her swimsuit. She wasn't however in a traditional 
location like the pool... or even at some wild hotspring resort!

ELSEWHERE

"Miss Dove... sign here please. Miss Dove?"

"Yes?"

"Your card. And Please Sign here."

"Oh right."

The lady accross from her looked on concerned,"You alright?"

"Oh I'm fine, thanks."

"I worry about you sometimes."

"That's sweet of you," she handed the bill signed with her name and a little 
heart to the waiter as the 2 girls got up to go. The other held Miss Dove's 
hand,"Maybe once we're in the street?"

"Let them think what they want."

BACK WE GO.

It was quiet and peaceful. Of course the scene was far from normal. Not everyone 
gets to float on a lake of LCL. Fewer still have wings who can do it. An arm 
thrust out of the lake from out of nowhere and that person was pulled out after 
they grabbed the rung of the pull chain system for saving the newly Separated 
before they rejoined Instrumentality.

It was like watching people dream. There are times when they touch Conscious 
Dreaming and then slip back into standard subconscious driven REM sleep. For 
Instrumentality it was harder. It's like a dream you don't need to wake from OR 
take control of. It's perfect.

Thus, this NERV in it's little pocket reality that had come to be connected to 
Eldrick's Home Dimension, had been trying radical things. Children's toys in the 
LCL had netted some survivors... Lilith swimming seemed to scare people out of 
the Collective... and now Gala -who wanted somewhere to learn to swim without 
also learning how to drown- was helping because how often do you see fairies and 
pixies? She'd color that sad... if Cubey wasn't a discrete pair of headphones 
blasting some Rammstein for her.

Of course the House didn't know to look for her here. Indeed her time was her 
own anyway. She seemed to kind of upsettedly look around from time to time 
though.

"What a surprise still not gawking about for me. Idiot. Hell Blasted Idiot."

"Who is?"

Gala looked over,"Rei...?" she couldn't tell with the Rammstein if even Gendo 
was fairy gazing... however she hadn't heard a boat and she was in about the 
middle. However the face was male... if Bishounen,"Oh. It's you Qtip."

He was pulling the walk on LCL routine again,"And how are you today? Are the 
Fish biting as Lieutenant Ibuki calls it?"

"A few... It's tapering off now. Netted 17 earlier. Or was it only 13. Oh well 
17 will sound more impressive I suppose."

"To Lady Mal?"

"You know that how, Qtip?"

"I know many things Miss Gala. I know you were working the security booth when 
Toshu was fibbing. I know you've been avoiding him. And I know why."

"Bah you know too much. So why are you bothering me? Status report?"

"Oh you're on camera and microphone... well not NOW... but they know what you 
are doing. They need not a report from me."

"So what then, Qtip."

"Please call me Kaworu."

"Knowing what I know I'll call you Qtip."

"Touché, Gala Shimmerflight born of a ... Snow Capped Pine was it?"

"Got the snow capped right."

"And the tree?"

"Well it wasn't mistletoe."

"Yes you'd rather bear a child from it would you not."

"Do. Not. Push. Me."

"Very well. I only knew it was close to your heart. You have my sincerest 
apologies."

"Apologize by saying why you're here."

"I'm here for you."

"Eh?"

"Well specifically," he clutched at his chest,"That's like a hot Prog Knife. I'd 
better let him in."

And Eldrick stumbled swinging a sword into Terminal Dogma,"Oh... not an Angel."

"I didn't know you would detect that."

"Well... there was... and then I looked at security... then I tapped into 
everything I could... and then I saw on a NERV readout a Blue pattern they 
hadn't seen."

"I, myself only appear on one screen. But the camera that can see it has a 
deceptive view of it and makes it more than it is. It is also where Hyuga 
secrets away his manga so the name plate is typically shrouded."

"Ah... well just glad it wasn't an Angel somehow."

"There are safer Places for an Angel to be. Gala is out here and perfectly safe. 
Sorry to worry you about her. Although...


"Although, Kaworu?"

K-kun smiled,"She is rather bored with Fishing."

"Fi..." he looked at the 'water' he was floating over,"OH! Of course."

"Tell me though did you walk the halls properly?"

"Came along the causeway."

"Ah the link between worlds."

"It's just water suspended with High Physics and probably ducttape and bailing 
wire. Not like you'dforever lose your way and starve in the void between or 
something. It doesn't even get dark," Eldrick sweatdropped.

"Drama is my forte. It livens things up, and speaks to the soul."

"Any others?" Talking kept him from wanting to dip a finger in and see what it 
was like to touch LCL.

"Love."

"Shinji?"

"Everyone. You could say it's my job."

"Job?"

Gala butt in,"Lemme help Qtip cut to the chase he's enjoying before you end up 
in bed together, bathing together and other Shounen Ai stuff. He's an 
Incarnation. He's Love."

"And you look like Nagisa why?"

Kaworu smiled,"I already bore a striking resembalance. I only had to change the 
color of my hair, and remove a few years of aging. I suspect they all suspect 
here... but I suppose it's also reassuring to many considering Shinji's report 
of my words. And it good to see someone stop being a pawn of others and defy 
them... especially when they are enemies is it not?"

"There's that."

"And thus... tada," he touched a toe to the LCL and spun with a final 
bow,"However nice it is to talk to you I must be going now. Happy fishing," and 
he drifted to the pier and headed out.

"So ready to rip apart an Angel with a sword and a prayer? And why fire?"

Eld looked at the sword in his hand. It was GrimWick the dark twin of his 
air sword WindFang,"Fancy that."

"Ah and here I thought you were getting Biblical on their Heinies."

He was turning the sword over and over like he'd never seen it before,"It 
looks diffe... Huh? Oh funny funny," he scratched his head looking at the sword 
again.

She shifted her float to see him better,"What? Isn't it like Crystalis and you 
have a sword for every element and choose the one you want?"

"No... I made WindFang... and with traditions for katana I made a second to be 
the repository of all the negative energy - GrimWick here. I had sealed away 
GrimWick. I suppose since it got broken out by Agent Orange the seals are 
weaker," he shook his head and put it away,"Huh... WindFang isn't there. 
Disturbing but I'll research later."

"Time for idle banter with the fairy that's floating?"

"Well I was worried about you."

"Thank you."

He was shocked anew,"Not an insult?"

"It's reassuring. Now before things get mushy. Carry me to the little Fairies 
room please. If I move... well things'll get weird. And watch your fingers."

He saw why. she was trying to be as traditional as a storybook. the particular 
books she must have been looking at involved naked fairies.

"I'm flattered, I think, but pick me up now."

He scooped her out of the LCL. The World went black for him.

"Argh Angsty stars shouldn't touch the Angsty Plotdevices. Cubey megaphone."

Her headphones slipped out of her hair and formed a megaphone like contraption. 
She took a big breath,"HEY ELDRICK!" His motionless body lay floating above the 
LCL sea. Not a speck was touching him save where his fingers broke the surface 
tension. It was an odd image as his hand was bent funny as he'd fallen not over 
her but beside her. His palm perpendicular to his forearm looked nastier than 
the pose was.

She aimed the megaphone up at the watching camera,"A little help here!"

"Understood Miss," and a technitian scooped him out with a recovery boom. In one 
of the first times in a while the boom actually made it to shore. Not that he 
was a recovery victim but...

Cubey carried Gala over to where Eld lay moaning and clutching his head. "You 
okay?"

"I feel like I boated a Marlin with my head."

"I'm sorry to ask since you're out of it but."

He stood and nodded cupping his hands for her to be deposited while cubey landed 
on his head. Sighing Eldrick tried to recall the sign for the doors for female 
facilities in NERV. And stepped forward. He stood now before a ladies room door. 
.o0(Bingo. )0o. "Can you make it with Cubey?"

"Not after having to move to get on Cubey to see about you. Besides you've seen 
it all and tested out the equipment. Go in. Sheesh. Perv that doesn't wanna 
potentially see girls squatting. Are they just for show? Filled with whipped 
cream."

"Fine lady peer pressure."

"Thanks I'd rather not mess up your hands."

And open the door went. "Excuse us. She needed assistance. Warning Male Presense 
in the Lavatory. Danger," he then started beeping like a truck backing up as he 
placed her in a stall and slid the door closed. He checked out his forehead. the 
blue headband was now red,"Bet I've got a matching armor Motif," he glanced 
around but all the other stall doors were open. He shifted to his armor. Flame 
was the color of the moment. He imagined if he LIKED fire more this would be an 
impressive look. "Heh... bet Asuka would approve of the color scheme."

"Yes. She would."

Slowly turning his head,"Uh... Rei? I'm sorry for all the chatter and the 
invasion of the ladies room here. I'll close my eyes."

"Why?" She stepped out holding her clothes.

"You're naked."

"You're observant. I am relieving Gala. This facility is only 1 minute away from 
the pool. I'm surprised you found it."

"You're private bathroom huh? I'm extra sorry for defiling it. Gala really had 
to go... and I just concentrated and portalled. It shouldn't happen again."

"We are alive. It's the least in return that can be given."

"Less hormones out there. You're turning the room red, Eld," Gala said in the 
first bit of silence.

"Well the armor IS glowing."

"You're too excited in the presense of Nekkid Rei. And put the armor away 
anyway."

And the armor was gone.

"Rei. Is he naked?"

"Only the armor vanished."

"Oh good I can leave the stall then," and using Cubey as a crowbar she forced 
the door open and back,"Magic needs to work better here."

"It's all the technology."

"You're probably right," she looked at Sky eyes Eld,"Rei can he look? He's a 
fan."

"I don't understand emotions very well. If he's a fan why isn't he looking. Is 
not fanservice a staple of many anime that one can watch or star in?"

"Oh he's weird trust me. He'll probably break his neck trying to not look at 
your butt as you leave. Note the facial light show."

"I shall tell Hope you were a real gentleman then," and she walked out.

Eld didn't move till he heard the door whisper shut. At which point he checked 
all the stalls for occupants.

"Looking for discarded panties? A bra that had nuzzled her tender bosom?"

"No."

"The Chamber of Secrets?"

"Very funny. Just making sure the place is empty."

A voice called out from the as yet untouched far stall,"No one here but us 
Kaworu's."

Eld shook his head and walked down there. "Why are you in here. The Men's room 
is accross the hall."

"You have a good memory. That's is a nice fact to know. As for why the reason 
should be obvious. I ogle Ayanami from here."

"From way down here?"

"Turn around and look at the warp to the mirror," he waited till Eld turned 
around. Love walked up behind him and pointed under Eld's armpit. Arms around 
Eld he steered Eld until eld noticed that this curve of mirror lined up with 
another and gave a perfect view of the stall Rei was in. "See? It's the perfect 
vantage point."

"But a little distorted right?"

"'Objects in Mirror are closer than they appear'," Nagisa's hand 
strayed,"Ayanami got you very excited didn't she? Going anywhere for a while?"

"He's talking with me, Qtip."

"Ah... is that so. Well I shall let you go for now then. Until next time," and 
he was simply gone.

"Gee next you'll be flirting with Dharm."

Eld glared at her,"Not funny. I'm not out to have sex with everything with a 
pulse."

"Tentacle Necrophilia then?"

"Blorf."

"Was that a yes?"

"That was nausea."

"And if you meant a vampire who wanted some tentacle? Ha! I see you're resolve 
weakening. I've got your number," She rode Cubey to the counter.

"Why are you riding?"

"No wings."

"You had them in the LCL."

"You actually noticed?" She went ahead and dehenshined... unhiding them.

"Yeah so why hide them? Wings are beautiful things. Yours are cute too."

"Was that a line?" She game him a sidelong glance.

He blinked,"No but I could feed you one."

"I don't like tapeworms," she pointed at his pants.

He groaned,"That's not what I meant. I keep that away in your presense. When I 
can."

"Oh so I'm hideous?"

"You're adorable."

"So I'm a doll? Just a cute thing to be ignored?"

"You're too real to be a doll."

"Oh so I'm a RealKiseake then? To be dressed up screwed and tossed in the corner 
to wash later?"

He was about to retort,"Could you like me more if I willingly gave you a child?"

"I don't dig child sacrifice."

"I mean reproduction with the aim of progeny."

"Well that's fleeting."

"I don't mean a home without love."

"I don't mean that. Done ANY research? About *MY* people?"

"Educate me. You should highly knowledgable and I request your guidance."

"Wow I should sit on a napkin if you're going to lather me in butter like this."

"I want to know."

She paused and sighed, "Remind me to KICK Toshu later."

"Done."

"Alright. When my people decide to procreate, it's almost as bad as some fish or 
insects. One deposits the egg... and another services it. And the child matures 
raised by the spirit of the tree. By fall a full grown Fairy says hi to it's 
parents for the first actual time. So... you see. Fleeting."

"Are there alternatives?"

"Well..."

"You're blushing. So some big carnal dance thing?"

"That's one. That's how Royalty comes to be. Another is ... human sex with the 
egg left on the leaf."

"Any others?"

"Well there's hatching an egg early and raising it, and..."

"And? Out with it."

"Bah like you care."

"Then tell me why you are hiding your wings."

She was silent.

"Time for me to guess. You're worried you'll have another nightmare again."

"Bzzt."

"Darsh thinks they're sexy and it creeps you out and repulses you.

"He's less repulsive than you."

"And my real answer... you think I'll toss you out on your butt."

"Bz... Well Kanrinin the Resort's pretty full."

"Bah no such thing."

"Ah yes right all the more girls to fuck."

"You see a dark cloud... not a nimbus full of rain for the starving fields 
don't you?"

"Like you don't."

"Well I'm imagining having to hunt down a little glowing giggling light... only 
to find he or she has been hiding in my beard. I'm imagining Tweezering diapers. 
And NOW I'm forseeing 'Hey... you're my mother right? So tell me mom... who's 
the Giant and is he single?' 'That's your father.' 'Well darn. You sure?'"

"Well maybe if we laid on mistletoe."

"So it's a magic thing not a genetic thing?"

"Usually magic."

"Ah-ha. So... when is it NOT magic."

"Fine. It's not magic when it's very very close to what humans do. Another time 
that involves less magic is to get a Dryad or Leaf Sprite -A Dryad my height- to 
bear the child. I'm sure your brain is a buzz with Fairy 3 way sex now. Let's 
see. There's a varient ceremony to the Royal Dance that can do fairly miraculous 
things. And I shouldn't have mentioned that one. The chance of infant mortality 
is like 75%."

"Ouch."

"Ruler's Dance. But then when you want a Benign ruler who knows the rules and 
when to use what for the best of the race... you take those risks."

"Point."

"The worst part though is if you fail... no eggs left."

"And you succeed?"

"Almost like people and insects at the same time. Thousands of eggs. Because the 
spell has also chosen the lucky Girl as Queen."

"How many eggs are you born with?"

"2 or 3. It's rare to find a 4. Often we rookery so you can't even say you are 
or aren't a noble child just to mediate potential future status crap. I left. 
It's a beautiful society, and well structured."

"In line for the throne?"

"The opposite. And I want a big family so it was just painful to remain home. 
Then I got in with Guuzen and Mal, and I stopped caring. Got my style 
established flaunted it, and laughed at the misfortunate in my path."

"But you still want a family."

"Only those decreed untouchable by natural selection don't Otaku-boy."

"I'm written here to have wild naughty boinkage. The Authors decreed. Don't know 
if Nature was informed."

"Could you stop caring if you're an Avatar or a Naughty-Icon or what not? It 
reminds me of work. I like to think of it as a living or a career. Not a Job or 
Work. Reminded me of this Fighting Game fan I had as my first client. Got taken 
out -and thus a few ladder pegs- by someone with a godlike version of the Soil. 
Summoning Guns. Nasty fun those. Anyway I had to watch him and he was ALWAYS 
whining about how his Avatarishness should have done this or done that. Point of 
Fact the bullet could have been blocked... hell for this one ANNIHILATED and it 
would have summoned at location found the first target and dealt with the 
target. Who was or wasn't godmoding was beside the point. Asses are made to be 
kicked. Else they'd be extradimensional. When I lose a vocal duel I lose. Oh 
well. I... what?"

Eld had knelt down to counter level and was staring at her face as she finally 
opened her eyes,"I'm sorry to make you rant. I know just the place you'll be 
more comfy."

"Without a rite I'm not touching it."

"And *I* am the deve?"

"What you stood up?! I'm GROIN LEVEL here. I've got a torpedo AIMED AT ME. Well 
potentially aimed at me."

"Don't LOOK for it!"

"I wasn't trying to!"

At the door,"You're right sempai. All the time. And she's a percentage of his 
height."

Gala grabbed Cubey and cubey became a bow and arrow... Gala released... and a 
ticker tape that said ":P" on it unfurled.

"Well what am I supposed to think?" said Maya unducking from behind her 
clipboard as Ritsuko fiddled with Eld's headband without asking.

"Maya you're repressed. You're seeing it everywhere. Your Rice Crispies are not 
engaged in carnal acts."

"You're overreacting!"

"Eye for an eye. Sure it makes the world blind but around here there are spare 
eyes aplenty," she looked over at Eldrick,"Shall I drop off one Eld later for 
study?"

Ritsuko smiled and waved it off,"Oh no. Standard issue 'have to see things for 
myself' disease that most scientists are afflicted with. Especially after what I 
saw on the monitor," she lazily pointed at a camera right about Kaworu's deveing
point. "You're free to wander off now. This is a lady's lavatory. No need to 
hang out here MR. Tobin."

He stepped back far enough to bow, and as he passed Gala he held out his hand 
and she jumped on. Cubey decided again that his head was the BEST place EVER to 
land. And out of the ladies room they went. "Finally... let's get out of NERV 
before I get groped AGAIN."

"Oh I don't know I think Asuka is in a sundress today... you could pay the 
viewing fee. And there's Misato, and Hikari. We could watch Ritsuko and Maya."

"They're...?"

"Hard to say without watching. Probably testing the LCL and it's the closest 
restroom. And you wonder why I nearly exploded. The LCL just SINGS to your body 
and then you gotta go. NOW. Or there will be trouble. Oh yeah when's the last 
time you went, Volga Boatman?"

He paused... he didn't suddenly have to at the mention,"A while. Mon...ths? 
Wow."

"Doesn't that worry you at all? All the eating... no expulsion."

"But I feel... more powerful than ever."

"Ah... Mal was wondering if things were like Star Trek and people only went when 
you weren't watching. Must be hell on bridge crew. 'Number one!' 'Sir? Oh... 
someone get the Captain a mop... he's been on camera for 3 solid hours. And 
someone take over for me... gotta run!'"

"Disturbing if funny."

"What's more disturbing. Body fluids... or the fact I'm buck naked and you 
aren't oggling."

He held up the oars for emphasis,"I'm rowing. This is not an SUV and you aren't 
a cell phone and even if you were I'd have to do one or the other. Besides you 
typically haven't wanted me to look before."

"Eh might as well. I mean you wanna engage in some wild boning I'm sure. So what 
going for something from Alice in Wonderland?"

"Well... have you been where this boat goes?"

"I portal. Just like you."

"Ah-ha well it's grand opening time."

"I've been to the lab."

"True that's on the... well there it is... but no. The path continues."

"To?"

"Look around."

"I see knockoff sunlight. As usual."

"And the water?"

"Sa...lt? Impressive. I guess. So we're off to Fanservice Island?"

"Just a beach I added. Not some 'Fanservice Island.'"

"There will be sex on it one day so it's Fanservice Island."

"I yield."

And then they pulled up on the sandy expanse... the walk up to the Elevator 
shaft was impressive multicolored seashells, hermit crabs, starfish, and other 
seashore denizens scampered and skuttled. The air was salty and nice. You even 
kinda baked from the heat. The seagulls calling were not canned music, and had 
nests out on buoy's and an artificial dead pier full of wooden uprights out of 
the water.

"I'm thinking of Placing some trees near the Elevator shaft to make it."

"Naw just disguise it as a Lighthouse."

"Good thinking."

Gala sighed,"Why am I helping?"

"It's a good suggestion anyway."

"So since I wanna swim... tada?"

"Oh I wasn't bringing you here. Though here is nice I'm happy to hear."

"So where to?"

"Down," the elevator door opened,"Care to have a look?"

"No Dueling Platforms involved?"

"None."

"I had no plans let's go. What floor is this?"

"Well I better call it Fanservice Island. I was going to call it..."

"Bob?"

"Rupert actually."

"At least it's not Darsh Beach. Or Darth Beach. Say why's he so quiet?"

"He has company."

Gala made the oral pleasure face.

"Gah I dunno."

"'Gah'? That weird seeing me do that huh? One minute you're wedding bells 
practically. Next you're John Chastity, Pastor."

"I'm in tourguide mode sorry."

"Oh it's alright. Just don't get Vanna White on me with little poses. OR 'We're 
walking we're walking and now we're stopping.' Bleah."

"Gods I hope not," he hid the buttons and the Elevator descended.

"A secret?"

"You're the First to See."

"YOUR idea or Ami's?"

"Both. While she was joking about ..."

"I heard Toshu."

"Right."

"Typically made out of leaves rather than cotton anyway."

"Ah. Easy to replace when their feet get bigger then."

PING and they passed the next apartment level. PING and the doors opened on... 
a fantastic hotspring... well the the hallways next to the locker rooms. Eld 
stepped out and the elevator slid closed like it just might the be shoji screen 
on a broom closet. "This is because ... everyone's using the pool for this 
stuff."

"Noise level too high?"

"Not enough room more like it. Imagine everyone at the pool. What water?"

"Eh you're pool is huge though."

"But still..." he started.

"You wanna ogle girls under the cover of boards or steam. Right."

"That's not the reason. I want everyone to be happy."

"Even the guests?"

"This house currently has no guests. Only Residents that can come and go as they 
see fit. Stay for a week stay for a lifetime."

"The More the ... jigglier right?"

"There's a concrete retaining wall that can be raised and lowered to further 
obscure the baths."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"But What about say... Joy? She demands to be ogled."

"Then you lower the wall."

"And if I'm bathing with Joy and don't WISH to be ogled as well? Devil's 
Advocate and humor me... and stop making eye contact to avoid ogling. Makes you 
look crazed! And don't give off blush and turn away shy body language either. 
It's honest but this isn't... well actually this MIGHT BE a dating sim."

"With one target?"

"Sex is a noble goal... to some," Gala caught herself fast. She thought the 
story was BULLSHIT and STANK OF OFFAL and [They get the idea - Potty Watch Zin] 
.o(They really should just tell him, and console him again. And needle him on it 
till ... well knowing him he'd go mental...)o. Eld's big face an inch from her 
was thought bubble snap worthy,"Yeah?"

"You didn't hear me when I mentioned the Margo Field?"

"Not a word."

"Well all bathers have a Default Margo Field. Thick Steam, random vines, you 
name it... whatever seems convenient. If like I imagine Joy will... you want it 
off you have to turn it off. For when you're in mixed company IE those wanting 
the FIELD versus betting ogled... their's the wall. There's even complete 
obscuration for when no one wants the wall up... but one feels that the field 
isn't enough. Entertaining Service versus just Fanservice."

"You told me the longer version because I didn't listen right?"

"Bingo."

"I'll pay more attention. so... standard amenities? Wetbar..."

"Hover basins... ever full basins of hot or cold... strong supply of towels of 
all sizes... other beverages..."

"Signs saying how to pose when drinking I'm sure. Any alarms for when the wrong 
gender is on the wrong side?"

"The Offender(s) are fully visible while their 'quarry' are fully obscured. This 
way those obscured can decide what to do. Eject to the other side... or allow 
the intrusion... or just some allow the intrusion while the others complete 
their bathing."

"Did that for Joy or... in case you find yourself on the wrong side and expect 
to get ejected?"

"I am a weak person. The Eject is to launch me back over the wall."

"To avoid say... Kanaetalina's loving grip?"

"I was meaning if some perv comes over me and I sneak over."

Gala flicked his nose,"Oh you know it's your emergncy escape. No need to hide 
it."

"Well if we had guests... that aren't expectant of the perversion levels here... 
it's a needed precaution."

"Ah so if Lady Funaho was over... the button is to keep you from deveing?"

"That would be one example."

"And if Rei is over... the button on the men's side is for Kaworu to launch you 
into the side with Rei right? Perv Volleyball."

"That's a weird suggestion."

"How rough is the landing?"

"Not Very... it's a deterant... not a bone breaker."

"Good to know."

He looked at her inquisitively and she'd already pushed the button for the next 
floor. He had to look away fast and grab a small towel for her.

"Ah thought you weren't looking."

"You're bottom has an ogle magnet. Almost got whiplash trying to look away in 
time."

"Heh. I'v seen you trussed up like a Boomer undergoing hardware refits... ogling 
my butt should be part of the fee."

"I should ask first though."

"Ah saving it for the honeymoon? Ha!" She flit into the elevator while wrapping 
in the latest Kintaro fashion. "Get in here we're not getting younger."

"There's a few more floors to show you."

"Not a problem."

He keyed the next sequence, which also opened the sequence to being explored at 
all. PING and they passed the next apartment level. PING and the doors opened 
on... the forest level. Eld quirked an eyebrow,"This... was supposed to be a 
floor lower... probably another error... teach me to have too many ideas for a 
floor and probably have each template trying to load at once."

"So... before I go fangirl ballistically happy... what WAS this supposed to be?" 
she quivered with suppressed glee.

"A night themed floor. Maybe stargazing... crickets... gentle hills and a 
babbling brook. I think I was also thinking of maybe a park... or maybe a..." 
he shut up,"I think you see the problem."

"Ah the 3 wishes phenominon. First and Second Wishes are just want you want... 
and thus... you don't know what to do with the 3rd wish. So Fun Level 5 you've 
probably nailed... and 1-3 as well. BUT 4 elludes you."

"Well 1,2,4, and 5"

"I like this HERE."

"Yes ma'am," he smiled.

"Good... now... you promise to not speak of my activities in the next few 
moments. Promise."

"You're about to go from grumpy to cute in 0.000000001 seconds aren't you?"

"Promise first. And step out of the elevator I can feel it listening in."

So he did so and the doors closed... revealing a simple broad magestic tree... 
like what might give you mission in a Legend of Zelda Game... that was a little 
too shiny but... would pass cursory inspection. "And I promise not to relate 
anything that happens here without permission from you on pain of torture."

"Good enough," she replied a little too quickly,"And Yes," she then took a deep 
series of breathes, "OHMYGODDESS! THISISSOCOOLICAN'TBELIEVEIT!! 
WOWIT'SPERFECTANDEVERYTHING! ICAN'TBELIEVEYOUWEREBEHINDTHIS! ANDYETYOUMUSTHAVE! 
OHANDLOOKATTHISHEREANDLOOKIETHERE!! OHMYGODDESSOHMYGODDESSOHMY_GODDESS!_" She 
was literally a BLUR... from the canopy down to the ground level and picking up 
a leaf that she wore as a hat for all of a second before flinging out of sight 
and then back... splashing in the water like a little girl in gollashes... 
before settling down in that water after a dive and surface. She only said,"What 
am I going to do with you?"

"Taking to the trees?"

"Are you a tree?"

"Not last I checked."

"Well you could secretly be Juraian so I guess you might still be a tree. Anyway 
I'm trully at a loss."

"You like the forest right?"

"I love it. I'm sure you didn't just swipe it from somewhere. BUT I know this 
was almost natural planting. You didn't alter time in here to grow it all in 
days or something?"

"I've secretly been buying the trees from Forestrunner Gnomes."

"And you planted them well. They're really happy with the arrangement."

"Seemed more natural this way. Besides I had help so it was easier."

"Forestrunner Gnomes helped with this? Incredible."

"No... well she can explain it," he cupped his hands to his mouth," Nee-chan! 
Doko?" [Sis! Where (are you)?]

"Astrala?"

"Huh?"

"You always call her sis."

"Well... that's..."

"A Fetish thing."

"Yeah."

"And Nee-chan?" [Sister]

"You'll recognize her. She speaks better Japanese than I do by far."

"Glad I don't suck at it then."

"When did you learn?"

"You aren't my first otaku assignment."

A head of hair announced a face popping around a tree,"Nii-chan? Okaeri, Nii-
chan!," [Brother? Welcome back, brother!] the face smiled.

Gala forgot the towel as she flew out of the water adn around the visitor,"Eld 
is this?" her voice cracked.

"You're daughter? Yeah."

"Wow... she's tall. Did the Japanese take over the future?"

"Gala... from the game."

Gala looked dumbstruck,"That should have occured to me first."

"Nii-chan?" [Brother] The youth looked around Gala for a second.

Eld smiled,"'ka-san" [Informal: Mother] he replied pointing at Gala.

She looked over again shocked. He nodded. She nodded back. She massaged her 
throat and placing her gardening gear aside she stepped back and bowed,"I am 
pleased to meet you, Motha."

Eld 'whispered' a correction,"Mother."

"Hai... pleased to meet you, Mother. Have you been... well?" She glanced at Eld 
who gave her a Gala-hidden thumbs up.

Gala in tears nodded,"Watashi wa genki." [I'm am full of vigor/energetic... [Probably used genki instead of kenkou (well) for more of a familiar-with-the-addressed feel. - Translator Zin]]

"I am glad, Mother," she rubbed her head,"Kore wa katai no desu." [This is 
hard ['This is badly written' works too.]]

Gala shook her head,"Iie," [No.] she corrected before she flew over and hugged 
her daighter's cheek,"Omedetou, watashi no saiai musume." [Congratulations, my 
beloved daughter.] "Thank you Eld."

"She was beginning to tell when it was just the computer anyway. Like sticking a 
kid infront of a TV. It was Darsh's idea to drag her through my head onto Campus 
and then out. She kept getting distracted and trying to go looking for you."

"Glad you two kept her on the path."

"Well Darsh had to be bribed."

"Ah that's why he's physically engaged."

"Basically."

"And why Brother? Why not father?"

"Well I forgot how to say uncle..."

"Why not father?"

"Well... she's Jubei's. I'm not Jubei. She's more YOURS than your characters 
however. So you're her mother."

"Washuu had said..."

The Daught pointed at herself,"Not Washuu. Now Ai-chan. Like Mother."

"Gah you're going to make me pop from the cuteness," Gala kissed her 
cheek,"Explain the plothole, Eld."

"Well the reason "Celestial Bamboo" 'Stuck' for the server is that other world 
properties were apparent. It just got 'Fey' and 'Outsider' mixed up. You," he pointed to emphasize her herself not her game chara,"are probably Outsider Fey to the server so it panicked and just agreed, with the Chibi Professor."

"And she stopped aging why?"

"It's been a year for her. Like you said with the leaves."

"Ah nice and explained. Except for one thing."

"And that is?"

"For confusing me ... you must accept what I'm about to say without question."

"Can I agree after you say it?"

"If you like." .o(But it'll be too late.)o. "Ai-chan?" she said addressing her 
daughter.

"Hai?"

She smiled and pointed at Eld,"'to-san." [Informal: Father]

Eld's eyes went wide enough to fit in planets.

Ai looked over,"Nii-san... desuka?"

Gala shook her head,"'to-san." She smiled sweetly at the afflicted Eld,"Neh?"

Eld looked defeated,"Hai."

Ai just smiled like she knew all along and spread her arms out.

Gala smiled wickedly,"Bow to the cuteness, Eld. Family Hug."

Eld came over and suffered a near crushing by his half- Pearl Spirit Celestial, 
half-Bamboo Spiritfolk who was somehow also pixie tossed in there SOMEWHERE daughter. He felt Gala kiss his cheek.

"So you've been buttering me up for this right?"

"Basically."

"So if I wanted another child..."

"Do you?"

"I'll think about it..."

UPSTAIRS and indeed all over the house on monitors and displays etc,"afterall... 
I'm already part of a big wonderful family. Even if they are mostly Deviants and 
Screwballs."

~Fin~

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                                        "Cast" Addendums

	Ai Hansawa - - Daughter of Kensai Jubei Hansawa and Lady Aika Suzuki. 
Brought out of the Server -for her safety- by Mock Dark Schneider after heavy 
bribing along a similar course to what happened to Peer Kentaro. Minus looking 
like Forte.

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