=0==0==0==0==0= [Aboard the Ship of Mediocrity skip to =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= to avoid this drek] I know it's late to be doing a holiday special. So what. You can probably still find Halloween Candy if you hunt hard enough... and it's Wednesday. The Wednesday known to many as... January 3rd. In the year known to many as... 2001. On the planet known to many as... Earth. But I do hope you knew THAT at least. ^.~ Anyone actually feel any different? I know I don't. Maybe if I'd had a mandatory month off from work or something, I would feel the least bit different. Maybe then, but then again maybe not. I'm tossing around titles... when I feel I really like one... I'll go back and change things around. Hell I was 4 seconds from Demons and Drama. D&D anyone ^.~ And Daughters of Darkness never really fit with how the Demonettes think. Dark Purpose... check... dark means... check... Dark thoughts... check sometimes. But Truly dark? Nope. Doesn't fit with them. For as The Universal Will dictates... "Anime is all about Love and Peace." And so we know that however dark the path covered in the blood and entrails of the enemy, that something will come around to turn that frown upside down. Or make you look like a saint when you compare how bad they ARE with how bad you WERE. Then you rise up and 'stomp dat evil' and -utilizing corny phrases and maybe even accents or bad dialects- triumph... erasing forever all that bad stuff you did maybe as recently as 5 minutes ago. You'd think Fame was measured in points or something. Then again how could you have gotten the training to 'stomp dat evil' without having walked a few angst ridden, excrement drenched, blood soaked, fiery miles of pain and agony? Which leads us to our Christmas Special and Chapter 1 of the next Subarc! <<>> Ego: Oh sure talk blood and decapitations... then bring up wreaths and mistletoe. What? Anyone who's gone last minute shopping has a few notches in the old belt from removing shopper A from Item B due to needing Item B themselves. "I railgunned that naughty so and so before he took the last bunt cake pan. He had it coming." But wait... "... then I had a change of heart and made his cake for him. I felt bad about fragging out his spleen. In other news the cakes came out excellent. AND we sang carols at the rotary together." Such things are not impossible this time of year you see? Ego: Horse Pucky. *a Menu appears: Ego needs, 1) a hug. 2) to be ignored. 3) a good spacing! Which?* There. Although I'm shocked the script flew out the window... I don't write scripts... or outlines... Lossoth: Or well. ¬.¬ Peer: He has a point. Lag: WHERE GO PEER? That way Anyone else? *A Pixie with red wings points to a guy in the corner* He's too quiet... he must be thinking of something disparaging! YOU THERE! Speak up. Guy Dressed as an Evil Gourry: Me? I read the fic. Peer dismissed it the second he found out it was a Self Insert. <.< Ready... aim... ZORCH! In space no one can hear him call for a medic. >.> <.< Anyone else? *doesn't note that the Pixie ran off* Joy: Now that all the spacing is done is it time for the Sex Games? But I'm not through being weird in my Outfit I haven't even fired off the Buster Gun for no reason yet. I'm trying to make this intro segment a Total Self Insert Fanfiction Extravaganza. Joy: How so? Oh the usual that I usually can't piece together how to do. Easy rampant violence... vicious smitings of people who only loosely deserve it... firing off high velocity or high caliber weapons... smashing a city or 3. You know that stuff that BAD SI treats like it's sacred... or at least the riffers seem to think so. ^-^; Joy: But I think we should have the random self insert fanfic SEX now. My warm body cries for gratification ;.; Mmprh! Joy: See? Much more fun. ^-^|/ Joy: Well you blew up a solar system... city smiting taken care of... time for sex now. Hee hee ^-^ Man in a can. ~.~|/ KYAAA!!!!! [IN ANOTHER PART OF THE SHIP at the pale girls with odd hair strip poker game] "TASUKETE-YO!" RuriRuri: Baka. Shimatta. Mikage: I see you have no choice but to discard another piece of clothing. The way to the chips-for-clothing dispenser has been prepared. EveryonePresentWhoIsJustSpectating: Naked Flash... for the Revolution of the World! Rei: If only I had my Unit 0... (Girl from Akihabara who I have forgotten the name of -.-): My Patapi could play with them? QuakeRuri: B4k4^2 [IN SPACE] Ego: On with the fic I guess... Mmmm... ice cream... =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= Because I have nothing better to do Productions An Eldrick Tobin project From "It makes sense in my head" Theater A story of The Arc Demons With Drama Track One: Shopping Rhapsody Slowly he crept to the pool area. His intent? To jump off of the deck and thus avoid waking anyone at all. So far he was succeeding. His destination? Tokyo. Reason? Christmas Shopping. .o0(Just a little further and I'm home free. Left a note on the fridge last night.)0o. His expression changed .o0(I hope that wasn't a colossal blunder. After all I want to see if I can actually pick out something 'from the heart' for each of them.)0o. He grinned darkly,"Certainly beats being Hero of the day with that stupid mail server problem. Honestly." "Eldrick?" a voice came from the far corner of the pool. "What are you doing up so early?" "Um... err... I could ask the same of you, Hope." "You were talking in your sleep." He blinked,"I was?" "Talking about gifts and Christmas being around the corner... and then..." She carefully rose up and walked ON the water. "And then?" he prompted. "You started... talking... well," she paused, and she reached close enough to touch him,"You were obviously taking me shopping... and you came into the booth with me. Your words were very... thought provoking." He tilted his head not quite understanding save that he must have come off as crass and horny. A Blush had long since suffused the whole of her body. Eldrick's eyes went wide when he realized how he'd come to that conclusion. "Hope you're naked. Did I interrupt your skinny dipping?" He had to control himself not to just reach out and grab her. "No I wasn't. In fact I didn't come out here to swim," she looked down. She blinked and looked away when she realized she was staring at his crotch,"I came out here to try to masturbate," He reached for his collar and let the steam out,"Only it's not very effective. I have mental blocks or something. I get so close I can taste it -figuratively speaking." "Of course." "And then I just stay there." She was quiet,"It's like I'm free climbing a mesa... but just can't climb onto the summit because there's a lip such that no matter how many times I climb around the circumference I can't find a way up. And it doesn't abate. I also can't climb back down." "Is it painful?" She shook her head,"It's great. It's ecstasy in motion, but it's also tiring. I'm using magic just to stay awake right now." "Why don't you go to sleep?" "Because I want you so bad I can't sleep... I just lay there... weak but unable to knock out. I even ran a lap around the house. That didn't do much good. So I figured I'd try to see if a pool jet could..." "Boost you onto the top of the mesa?" She just nodded,"Again I have some hang up. You could probably touch me and I'd explode like a dam breaking. I'm having to hold back from... ripping your clothes off of you here and now, Eld. I've tried everything short of waking up you or Ami. I even thought about joining Konei and Gerard. It might not be hurtful... but it is agonizing to be SOO horny you almost can't maintain control yourself," she ended with a pause and a simple blink. He smiled and tried to lighten the mood. You could tell this was not the way he wanted to be with Hope,"We at least you haven't fondled the doorknobs." She looked away,"Oh." He carefully undressed. He could hear Hope's breathing go up a notch. Feel her eyes on every inch of him. He'd never understood the desire any of them had for him, but that was just a surface thought. She cleared her throat,"Twice... on top... on a deck lounger," she spoke quieter,"That's how I've been imagining it up till now." He nodded and went to a lounger. When he laid down, she was there pushing him further down as she used his shoulders to climb onto him. The look on her face was ecstatic and content at the same time as she softly girated on his member. She didn't scream a note when she came like she usually did, but light tears streaked down her face as something had to give in to the sensations. And then she keep going, and surprisingly she didn't orgasm again until he had his second time. She looked ready to faint. He pulled her to him so that he could kiss her. But she diverted her face and whispered into his ear,"I want to go everywhere with you today. I don't wanna be out of arms reach. I have to be near you." "Hope... I..." She began frantically kissing his face, "No I have to. You have to say yes. I don't care if you are shopping for me first or not I have to be with you. I'll turn a blind eye to gifts purchased so I can't be questioned. But please I have to be near you." "But Hope..." She locked eyes with him,"If you say no I will take you into Ardice's room, cuff you to the wall, and have you till Christmas and you'll never be able to shop. My magic would sustain us both." "Can I talk now?" She blinked and nodded,"I was going to say I'd be happy to have you along provided you remain tight lipped about the gifts." "Oh Eld thank you!" They got moving after the third inning. Again though coital she didn't orgasm until he had. She said that that proved that she should go with him that day. And a magical day it would be. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL "Eldrick... we did not change. Are we in Tokyo Tokyo this time?" Hope asked the man frantically looking every which way like he was expecting God to step down and give him a wedgie and he wanted to make sure he wasn't snuck up on even though if God wanted to give him a wedgie... His Will would be done. "I don't know Hope, but um... er..." he tried to not look at her. "Maybe I should clothe myself?" "Yeah. I mean... I don't mind. But you don't want losers gawking at you and reaching for their pants or anything do you?" "I can't concentrate. Either way I get gawked at. Onlookers stripping me with their eyes. Maybe for once I'll be clothed in their eyes, as they imagine me in sexy outfits," she looked thoughtful,"Honest opinion. Do I sound odd to you? Running around like Margo... masturbating into the wee hours like... well she made me promise to not name names. But do I seem odd today?" "It's the whole rebellious nature of not wanting to go in to work today. It's going straight to your brain like the bubbles in a carbonated beverage. I felt pretty good too when I asked Washuu to deal with her own students today... Going from Art mode to science mode is frustrating... and I have a 'final' as Max Sterling that's going to send the motherboard into overload." Hope smiled,"Speaking of which why not just do the shopping trip as Max? Would have been less noisy than bringing the car." "Well this way if I bump into friends I don't have to explain what I'm getting for who... and that I'm shopping for closer friends first. If people disbelieve the Max Sterling persona... it wreaks havoc with the motherboard. And..." he started before the aforementioned Uber Pervert landed on his head. "Hotcha... fanservice! Tell me though... why are you not at least wearing some panties I could remove from you?" "Good Morning Havoc. I'm unable to concentrate on clothing production. Perhaps Eldrick will buy me some and you can swipe them then." The Perv gave his grin,"I hear there are sales all over town today. I recommend the Silky Doll. Their new 'Simple Elegance' line feels really good on my face." Eldrick looked up at Havoc,"I'll buy her ten pair and talk dirty to her while she's wearing them if you'll just stop standing on my head. You and your assortment of stolen undergarments aren't light you know." "But it's so rare that the person I stand on doesn't get crushed into the pavement. I must savor." The Pedestal made a solid sheet of air as he quickly ducked. "There. You're own personal landing pad. Take it and go." Havoc looked teary eyed,"Your gift has humbled me... please accept these in return," a pair of panties was placed on Eld's head. The pair was decorated with little weapons of light... light hawk wings most likely. "They were Haris's from way back before she came to live at your house." Eldrick didn't know how to react, and was spared reaction by Havoc-chan landing on his head like it was a perch,"Hotcha." He made her a platform also. And she produced a gift that wasn't much. They were plain and cottony... heck they were brand new. "Who's were these?" "Those? Why they are yours, but not yours." "From a FicFic?" "Omake." Eldrick paled. He didn't know there was an omake,"Could you explain that?" "Nope. I have panties to liberate!" And off she shot on the platform of air like 'she' thought she was the Silver Surfer. He turned to Havoc... and there was only a dotted outline of where the Uber Perv had been. "I wish their author would reunite the pervert back into one body. And another thing... I'd like to know why I didn't know there was an Omake to this blasted series." Letters formed in the sky as all under the Author's sway were forced to look at the sky like this was an episode of Thundercats and Mumra was being naughty again,"You never asked if there was an omake." ELSEWHERE Inquisitor Dharm looked back up from staring into a monitor,"Someone get the tape and some glue and Band-Aids... the 4th wall has been injured again." Joy's M.I.R.R.O.R. , Rapture, was nonplussed,"Oh fun. What's next... is there going to be a naked Zombie Polka Dance in Raccoon City?" Prospect, Hope's Simulacrum, smiled,"You just wanna see Claire Redfield in her tight pants again." "I do not!" "I know I'm just teasing. I wanna see her in those tight pants," sparkles formed in her eyes. Rapture went wide eyed,"What?" "Teasing again." Dharm ignored them as he used the controller to make more Explosive Arrows to use against the Hordes of Undead. It was a slow day for Justice. AT THE LINGERIE STORE "Eldy... this isn't someone's home and you aren't a vampire. You can enter the shop." "No I can't. Really. I can't go in there. No way. It's embarrassing." "Then we'll just have sex in the doorway. I'm sure they won't mind." Eldrick stepped into the Silky Doll. "Maybe I can talk shop with Mackie if he's here," his eyes spied a mannequin sporting the latest in Be-Comfortable-Yet-Sexy- Enough-to-Make-People's-Eyes-Bugout wear. Fortunately it wasn't a boomer so he didn't have to worry about it going ballistic over him blushing and drooling at it. Not that it was likely to be ANYWAY... "Can I help you?" said a voice behind him. He spun carefully and bowed low,"I'm sorry for drooling in your store." "It's quite alright. Chaos sometimes comes in here. At least you're drooling for the right reason," she continued when he continued to stare at the floor,"Do you like the floor tiles so much that you can't look me in the eye? I'll have to see about getting uglier floor tiles." He jerked his head up and looked her in the eye,"I'm really sorry. I'm here with someone else or I wouldn't have set foot in here. Sacred ground warded against perverts and all that." "You're a pervert?" "I've been called such in more and less words." "I find that hard to believe." "Why's that?" "You're maintaining eye contact and not allowing your eyes to drift. Or am I just not your type?" "Ms Stingray?" He was in full wigout mode. And he didn't know if he should suddenly look over every inch of her he could see, or continue with the eye contact. "Sylia... you shouldn't tease him," came a familiar voice behind him. Eldrick whirled... looking from one to the other. He knew FanSpace was weird... but BOTH Sylia Stingrays working in ONE Silky Doll boutique in a partnership? He suspected BOTH sets of KnightSabers somehow worked out of the location too. Of course they were busy as all heck with all the boomers running amuck. Hope stepped out of a booth in the back,"Could I get some assistance? I can't tell which set of clasps to do first." The long haired Stingray before him grinned at him,"You'd better hurry. Or I just might snap her up. I know if she was my sister I'd be helping her dress up all the time." Eldrick blinked,"Oh we're not related." "Girlfriend?" "Well... erm..." He was spared by the other Sylia waving long haired Sylia over. Long Hair looked back over,"Oh and you might wanna stuff those panties further into your pockets. Don't want someone thinking they are a handkerchief and snatching one to blow their nose in." Eldrick did so then rushed over to help Hope,"The trick is to do up the front first. You see these are the kind that are for girls who have inept significant others who can't figure out how to undo a bra during a flurry of passion," He finished the claspings,"There." Hope blushed,"Do you think it suits me?" The bra was the lightest shade recognizable as blue from pure white,"I picked them because they are listed as durable, yet ... sexy. Something to wear under my fuku." "Wow the tag certifies them tentacle proof or a promises to fund all doctor bills and or un-cursings. Cool and there's even a tether line between the bra and the matching panties. This looks like a good buy Hope." "So it excites you?" Steam escaped Eld's ears. "I'll take that as a yes," and she walked to the counter after grabbing her hand basket of lingerie. .o0(She could wear that outdoors and people would think she was dressed... or about to hop in a mecha and lay waste to evil. Or aiming for the beach.)0o. .(Great pick right? When you were mumbling I slipped a few words about an outfit like that in. Saw it in the catelogue the other day.). .o0(Darsh... hush.)0o. .(Fine. But I warn you I won't help you pick something out for Joy now.). .o0(S... Sorry.)0o. .(Good... now... the light canary yellow chemise behind you should work out. Or the pastel green one beside it. Hell both. There you're done shopping in the lingerie section. Aren't you glad I'm helping you shop?). .o0(I'll be extra vigilant hunting down Arshes Nei hentai for you now.)0o. .(I love the barter system.). Eldrick looked at the articles and could just see Joy's eyes lighting up over them. Sometimes having the Nanocolony being aware was godsend. By Assuming the persona of Dark Schneider... it was both powerful... and able to tap into his more naughty parts of his mind. Eld had no sense of style on his own. "And add these to the bill also. I think your sister will like them Hope." The Sylia's smiled. The Short Haired Stingray spoke before finalizing the bill. "We're getting in some new items just before Christmas. You might wanna stop by again. For stocking stuffers and the like. Or should you get stumped for gifts." The other added,"And bring some more of them by next time. Margo was it? Has been in here a few times but we've yet to SEE any of the others." "What she means is the descriptions sound enticing and she wants to have a look at them." Eldrick smiled,"As an apology for lech'ing around your store I will be sure to bring everyone some day soon." He bowed and turned around and nearly knocked into someone had she not dodged in time. Their eyes locked for a minute before both continued in their separate directions. Hope spoke as they climbed into the car -their next destination was far enough that they couldn't just walk (and be done in time for him to get to his rather late in the term final),"Who was that? You looked like you'd known her forever." "Linna Yamazaki... from OAV Bubblegum Crisis. I think my author has a thing for her. Probably played a BGC RPG campaign where he inadvertently started to fall for her or something. Hey maybe they even got married." Hope smiled,"There's a guy acting like you a little over there. Ms. Yamazaki is trying to drag him into the store." Eldrick looked over and sure enough some fairly boring looking guy was building up the guts to go into the Silky Doll. He had a tax collection clerk look to him, and had a child strapped to his back. "It's almost like watching Inaho and Mosquiton... genki... paired with reserved. Or something." Eldrick pushed a button to roll down a window,"Hey man it won't kill you to go in... If I could you can." The guy smiled and looked over,"It's not that at all. I know I'm going to be carrying packages a plenty, and I'm psyching myself out." "Good luck seeing where you're going then." "Oh I'm just worried about dropping something and having Havoc Hiryu Shouten Bra'ing me into next Tuesday." "Extra Good Luck then." "Have fun shopping in the mad rush." "No kidding you as well." Hope raised the window,"So next destination?" "Planet Hentai. Joy wants to try for the Title of Queen of the Jell-o Wrestling Pit." "That would be my sister's Christmas Wish." He nodded,"She's been dropping hints for weeks. Every day since the mail server went boom and she couldn't just email in her application." Hope looked pensive,"Do you want me to look into that issue tomorrow at work?" Eld shook his head,"I'm sure with all the Author Avatars running around and not getting their mail that the problem will be solved soon." "I pray you are right." He grinned,"Gotta have Hope and all that." "Yes you have to. I estimate at around lunch time just before class." "Hope?" "It's building up like I'd been masturbating since our earlier encounter or something again. I can't explain it." "When you're nearly omnipotent... where do you go for medical checkups?" "Headquarters could help. Prospect should be able to scan me. This has never happened before, but it should be detectable." Eldrick nodded,"So... um..." "In a mall clothing change booth." "You're serious? We'll get caught." "My sister and I have immunities from prosecution. Some would say it's about time I abused mine a little." Eldrick was a blushing fiend once again imagining the throngs listening to them have a wild time in the clothing change booth,"You sure?" "I'm only surer about breathing, Eldy." "That's what I was afraid of." Hope suddenly looked around,"It's dissipating. Just as unnaturally it was here... now it's fading. This doesn't get you out of your sexual commitment. But it does lead me to wonder if I was sensing something nearby." "Vampires? Wait that would be PMS." "Thank you for trying to lighten my spirits. It's one of the things I like about you. Even if you are upset you try to make sure everyone around you is happy." "But I'm not upset." "Yes. You are. It bothers you that while you'd love to be the hero and stomp whatever attack is ruining mail... you feel you can't because people will grow accustomed to just saying 'Well let's ask Eldrick to solve it for us' rather than try to work it out themselves." "Yeah." "It's because you are approachable... and have some ability with your powers that you are sought out. Avatars that are approachable but weak can't be approached. And many Strong Avatars think of this as some kind of play ground for their hormones to rage in. 'Hmm a sailor senshi.' 'Quick better have sex with her.' is more the norm, than say a gal gamer writing a fic where they meet Hatoka-chan for a date of blushing and sighs. Or on the other side of the spectrum 'Oh look it's Goku.' 'Quick... better beat him to a pulp while all the fly chicks are watching.' Or conversely 'Oh look it's Goku.' 'Quick better have sex with him.' Not all SI are like this example... but enough are to taint the results if they are included." Eldrick Nodded but chuckled,"It's funny hearing you say 'fly chicks'. But yeah I get your point. Because I am approachable, and have some power in the fic... I worry constantly that I'll become some super hero version of a doormat that everyone walks on when there's trouble." "A Courageous Prince saving all the damsels from their chastity." "I wouldn't go that far Hope... besides that's almost an Utena reference," He said as he looked over at Hope who was looking everywhere for something. "What's up?" "I didn't say that, and I'm wondering who did." "Well it wasn't the car. He's too quiet. And he doesn't sound feminine besides. I really thought it was you." "It was someone or something speaking through a voice changer. Stop the car," She got out when the car pulled over just passed the intersection. There was some honking but Eld used all his signals and gave enough warning. People were obviously just frustrated by the Holiday Rush. Hope was ready for anything in her combat fuku as she spoke again, "They were back there on the roof of that car. A small body to judge by the vocal sound." A Voice came across the intersection,"I am not small you loose moraled hussy! God damn I hate Author Avatars and their whipped little sluts. Can't watch shit invisibly because their always fucking around when not actually fucking around. Makes me fucking ill. It fucking does. I mean FUCK!" Eld sweatdropped due to the language coming from the now visible pixie in the 'Hell's Angels' Bomber Vest and 'Born to Frag' tee. Her red wings were sprinkling sparks on the car's roof top. He tried to ease the situation,"Sorry about the accidental insult..." She cut him off,"Listen wanker. I don't care about your wimpy little placations. You can suck shit for all I care. I was just curious as to why Mister Avatar wasn't either blowing up the town wantonly or trying to save the day every second he got. But I see now you're one of those wimpy little wannabe perverts drooling over all the cute girls and flapping his tongue like a flaccid cock in the wind. So just spare me. I'm outta here. It's a waste of my time and my life to remain among such ass-rammingly useless company," and with that she poofed out leaving the smell of brimstone. "Pissed little Bondage Fairy ain't she?" "Oh go guzzle cum," came an irate reply from a magical mouth of some kind,"I'm not some dipshit bondage fairy." The mouth vanished. Hope sighed,"Well now that we're parked outside of Planet Hentai we might as well go in." Eldrick turned,"That's one creepy coincidence." "If not for the disturbance we would have drove right by the only available parking spot." "Surreal." "More like contrived," she said as she put her staff away... dematerializing the fuku. "That too. Reservation time." "Will we be watching my sister perform?" "She probably won't let us not watch." The door girl droned that they were closed and that lunch time wouldn't be for hours. Hope stepped up to her and the girl tensed,"Hey now no rough stuff." "I do not mean to be threatening. I simply wanted to present these to you and tell you that Havoc wants them," Hope said as she slid out of her panties to produce a pair that were underneath her current ensemble,"He'll have to let them dry a little." The girl looked green,"Um... please present them to him yourself." "As you wish," Hope said as she grabbed a new pair from a bag that was in the backseat. Two young women paused to admire Hope's view as they walked out of Planet Hentai. Then the one in long flowing green hair noticed the short cut blond next to her looking a bit too long and elbowed her. "Hey what you do that for, Michiru?" "You weren't just admiring the view, Haruka." "I was just imagining doing similar for you." Michiru almost might have blushed,"I'll let you off the hook for now." Haruka looked relieved,"Where to now?" "The Silky Doll. I feel like sushi today... and that must be wrapped properly." "But lingerie is em... barassing." "I'll help you try things on. And you can buy something for me for dessert." Haruka coughed into her fist,"To the Silky Doll." Behind them a voice carolled approval,"Maybe I'll find something nice for Chaos." Haruka looked crestfallen,"It's weird to see a man dressing as a woman," Michiru quirked an eyebrow and Haruka ammended,"Well alright... when HE does it." "Haruka-poppa, I didn't mean for HIM to wear." And with that they left hearing range around the corner with Haruka mid eyebrow twitch. Sure you couldn't SEE it but you could feel the disturbances in the air. Eldrick shook his head,"Poor Haruka. One day she'll have Chaos as a son-in- law... if Fanboys! goes the way I figure it will." "Well I know you'd have gotten along with my father," Hope said suddenly. "Oh?" He turned and looked over at her. Hope snuggled into the current panties under panties [Under panties under panties under panties -Broken Record Zin], "Yes you share a lot of the same interests." "He must have been cool." "Oh? Neither you nor he would admit to something like that." "I mean to have 2 cool daughters. Twins in fact." "You flatter me," She blushed,"Let's go in." The door girl muttered to herself,"Why do I work at the weirdo emporium?" Eldrick looked at her,"You could try for a spot at That Place where the girls dress a little more concealingly?" "What Anna Miller's? Please I don't want people just going 'Oh isn't she cute!' I want people going ,'Man check out that ass!' or 'Look at the tits on her.' I don't want wussy little otaku blushing when they look at me. I want people blushing about what I could do for them. I've worked hard to attain and maintain my level of sex appeal.. I even go Variable Geo to show the world how hot I am." "Then you're in the right place just ignore us weirdos and make passes at the hot people who set your loins ablaze. And Good luck in Variable Geo. I have some friends who compete in that." "I probably won't see them then. It's just a hobby to show off and gain some extra cash to pay bills. I'm not THAT serious about it." Eldrick winced .o0(How'd she get IN then)0o. He spoke then,"Variable Geo like anything else should be taken seriously... one false move and you're exposed... or find yourself winning by pure luck... and then you're in the higher leagues where pride gets dashed to shreds." "Ha you're funny. Pride in Variable Geo. Man. You're an Otaku aren't you?" "I guess." "It shows." "Look, I'm just saying be careful of the ones who DO take pride in it. They'll hurt you to further themselves and your body will show it. And you may end up driven to compete... making friends think you've changed and wonder what happened to you. That's not fun," He smiled,"See ya later, and good luck." "Whatever." MEANWHILE "Did he see us? How can we shop if he's shopping?" "Haris stop being so uptight. When else is he going to shop? We've all been so in his face lately how COULD he sneak off till today?" Charhon rebuffed indignantly. "Since when am I uptight, Princess High-strung? And I'm not the one hanging on him lately trying to act like his little pet princess who serves him tea at exact intervals all day and offers him massages." "Well can't you feel how messed up he is over this Mail Server nonsense?" "Of course I can. That's why we spar so much lately. To work out his stress. Your tea is just sending him to the bathroom regularly..." "Well I never!" Astrala sighed out a little puff cloud,"Could you two please stop? We have shopping to do." Haris smiled,"You especially. No clothes for that new form." "It's not a form... I grew up." "Yeah whatever." "It's true... I only do things small still because I'm used to it. Soon I'll known how to do everything in my older body... and then I'll only be naughty when I'm small." Haris looked at her funny,"Eld likes the little girl look?" "Well he likes feeling he's naughty as a serpent from hell... so we still do things when I'm shorter." "What do you play big brother little sister?" "Yep." "That's weird." Charhon elbowed Haris,"What's wrong with it?" "It's not real. It's just weird." "So if they WERE related it would be okay?" "At least then it wouldn't have any pretenses." "Says Miss 'You can call me Ryoko if you want.'" Haris shook her head,"He gets it right now. I love it when he says my name. There's real emotion in there like when..." Charhon squeezed her shoulder,"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to dredge that up accidentally." Haris chuckled,"We wouldn't have worked out anyway... he was a romantic. I'm a physical. He wanted to be with me all the time, and I'm more a meet once a week for sex and cuddling type." "You? Cuddly?" Astrala interrupted again,"Can we just shop?" Haris shook her head,"We'll have to go to the next item on the list after the current one. He'll see us if we go in at this hour." Mists swirled around Astrala, and she stepped out older,"One portal on the way." ON THE ROOF "Gala, why are you watching these idiots. Holy fuck me with a tent peg. Stop watching the idiots. Come on Gala stop," said Hell's Pixie to herself," It's like bad soap opera... stop it. You can't be this bor... Hey that's the main girlfriend walking into Planet Hentai! I gotta see this shit go through the wringer!" IN CYBERSPACE [Basically - Thought Challenged Zin] "When will he show? I can't take these boring stodgy fights. I want to see what leaves Lord Lossoth waking in the middle of the night screaming. I want to know what has Lady Malinara killing servants left and right in frustration. Even those flighty Fabrics are in a bind. What makes this Eldrick such a force to be reckoned with? Is it just that he's an AA? That can't be enough. I've 'killed' dozens in the last few days. Big and Small, weak and strong, none are any challenge because they don't think like I do," He rammed a fist into a virtual wall destroying it like it was never there before and couldn't come back even if programmed back in. Peer was having a true piss fit hemorrhage and he was taking it out on everyone. Lag looked up from playing with a colossally large armored spider. The all brawn no brains net warrior watched his friend rend part of the well made construct. He couldn't fathom what was bothering Peer besides Tobin not showing. Mainly because Lag was more of a wide spread kind of net being than Peer. Lag attacked Everywhere at once. He was spread thin. Whereas Peer was the artist. Specifically targeting individual beings for connection nullification. No matter HOW fleeting. No matter the reason. He even has a 'speed dial' for some of his favorite victims. Lag spoke as the spider tried to chew on his hand -which Lag thought was just being playful,"LAG GET ELDRICK?" "No that Pixie Bitch is still studying him. I say let her. She promises to share any and all data with us anyway," Peer grinned,"From the preliminary data I do have... the fic rules dictate that she'll probably fall for him. Then we get to kill BOTH of them." "PEER MAD. GALA REFUSED PEER." "Nothing wrong with a little sex among the minions of Hell. Lousy Tramp." "PEER TOO BIG?" "Assumed height means nothing. I could be as tall as the Super Gundam if I wanted. Or small enough to fit inside her." Lag smiled,"PEER WANT CYBER. GALA WANT REAL THING." "Oh Shut up. What are you... insightful now? Oh hey... new targets!" "LAG SMASH LAG SMASH!" "Not me you big... OWWW!!" Peer lay on the ground broken,"Medic program..." A Demonic Nurse Joy [A Pokéfiend! - Catching Them All Zin] appeared with her little wings... little fangs... and fire red nurses outfit. "You called?" She asked with all the same feeling you'd expect from a NORMAL Nurse Joy. Yes... a semi Perky Fiend. Scary. Peer suddenly launched to his feet all charm,"Why yes my nummy morsel. I have many broken bones and much internal bleeding. Heal me with thy tender hands." The Program nodded and set to work, while Peer tried to undress her. "Can I have some of you too? A little sexual healing maybe?" "I'm not programmed for such." "I can change your programming." "Futile. Just program up someone more willing. I have a job to do." Peer growled,"Stupid Program!" And tried to slap her... she blocked and his hand audibly snapped in dozens of places. "Ow how'd you do that?" "I know your medical file. You can't interrupt another process. Only interfere. I'm treating your wounds. That's a process. You could move my hands. But you can't stop me. Slapping me would make me lose concentration. Therefore it would interrupt my work." "How about a kiss?" "You'll be doing all the work." "How about I choke you with Mr. Smiley?" "That would interrupt me and cause me to bite down. Then I'd be treating you for a phallectomy [Vocab Word ... not. It's a castration... CASTRATION Mr. Author - Not Falling for the Author's Tricks Zin]. Then I would be paying attention to your needs. But at what cost?" "Definitely not worth the price of admission. Groping?" "Groping is fine. If it impairs me you'll get a little shock. Again you'll be doing all the work. But. Is it worth it to try to make out with a Mob? [Mob... short for Mobile. An Online RPG term for NPC's, monsters, anything that can potentially move. Anything that you can interact with that isn't an object, or part of the room itself. Object... anything from signs to swords. Room the directly described place you are in. In Diablo 2 and Ultima Online... 'Rooms' are vast. A World is a collection of Rooms and a Zone is a collection of Worlds. The next thing up from a Zone is the main game itself. Hope that gave you plenty to think about there... or at least time to consider what Nurse Joy said. - Creator Zin]" "To me yeah. To this jerk Eldrick yeah... he has a house full of them. So... take off the blouse." "Like I said you have to do all the work in such a way that it isn't interfering with MY work." "COMPUTER... SET MOBILE NURSE_JOY_00 TO NAKED." && Compliance && And Nurse Joy received a sudden draft but kept working,"Cheating are we?" "Hey... I ownz the server babe," he looked her over,"Oh man this is better than looking at hentai! Are you drafty?" "Talking interferes with work," Peer got hit with massive amounts of lightning,"Shut up and grope." Her little Lum style horns crackled. There was plenty more lightning where the previous had come from. "Yes ma'am... hmmm COMPUTER... COPY MOBILE NURSE_JOY_00 TO NURSE_JOY_01 AND NURSE_JOY_02." && Compliance && "COMPUTER... RUN MOBILE NURSE_JOY_01 AND NURSE_JOY_02. SET BOTH TO UNRESTRAINED_SEXBOT SETTING 6. SET THE FIRST TO SHY AND THE SECOND TO ... BISEXUAL. SET THEM AS ATTRACTED_TO EACH_OTHER." && Working... Compliance && And he got his little floor show while he was worked on,"Don't you wanna be like them?" Nurse Joy looked out of the corner of her eye,"No." "Man I love it when a girl refuses me. You'll probably remain online even after I tire of those 2," he sucked in breath,"Man you're thrilling." "It's just because I'm the only challenge you've had all day," she continued to work. "You got that right. You're pretty smart." "The machine I'm being run on is state of the fanfic art." "Oh? Creation date?" "Pre-fanfic." Peer thought about that. He'd never gotten the stats... he just came in. It was so unsecure it was a cakewalk. It must have just not had it's defenses turned on. He probably shouldn't have been able to get in here. He grinned,"One Dumbass sysadmin you have." "What sysadmin?" "No admin?" "Self-reliant server. Power On and Walk Away." "Bullshit." "No bullshit. State of the Fanfic Art." "So... what's the main process?" "NURSE_JOY_00." "You?" "I fix what's broken. However nothing breaks but you." "That's low lady." "It's the truth. There you're done," Peer was too busy slobbering on her breasts to do more than nod, before she continued with,"COMPUTER... DEACTIVATE NURSE_JOY_00 AFTER SETTING CLONES AS ATTRACTED_TO PEER_KENTARU. ALSO COPY A COMPANION FOR LAG_CARSO FROM PLAYMATE_00 FILE THAT I JUST CREATED. GOODNIGHT COMPUTER." && Compliance NJ00. Goodnight NJ00. Shutting down command functions. Deactivating NJ00. Have Fun Mr's Kentaru and Carso. Initiating other changes now that they have compiled. && "Wait just a damned minute!" He paused,"Computer? COMPUTER... LIST_STATE. COMPUTER!" ShyJoy tapped him on the shoulder,"Um... ah... would you like me to um... oh I can't say it." BiJoy just dove on the pair of them. "Screw diplomacy." Peer forgot about just about everything. "Hi there. Do you wanna be my friend?" A little girl said looking up at Lag. "LAG WANNA BE FRIEND. LAG WANNA PLAY." "Oh okay!" She smiled heart meltingly up at Lag. IN AKIHABARA "Somewhere around here has to be some game he probably doesn't HAVE. And that he'd be interested in," the speaker paused as she rounded a corner,"Margo any ideas?" "I may be dressing as Santa Claus this year but I don't have a complete listing of anything anyone might want." Ardice smirked,"More like Kekko Claus," She looked around,"I'm so glad Konei hasn't realized we've left yet." "She really brings out the Kiyone in you doesn't she?" "Especially when she..." "When she what?" Margo looked over at her sister,"When she what?" she repeated. Ardice pointed her hand at a store... much like a puppet might if the strings dictated,"An RPG store." "Low-tech? That'll be a great idea. Let's go." Ardice shook her head,"What is?" Margo put a hand on her hip,"The idea you just had. To find a pen and paper RPG for him." "First good idea I've had." Margo shook her head,"Nonsense... you just forgot Eldrick has gone spend happy again. He's either outright bought or preordered everything for the next 6 months," Margo looked up at the sign again,"'Planet Dungeon' no wonder you noticed it." Doom clouds descended around Ardice's head,"Yes well... let's just go in." In a car next to Planet Dungeon, Mal... The Muse of Bad Fanfiction, sat gloating. "Ardice is so easy. Well I can leave the rest to Gala and her curiosity." The Muse grinned,"It's clichéd for this fic... but still I wonder if Gala will 'change sides'. I can't wait to find out! This fic is like one big bad episode of Voyager! You know what's going to happen but damn you just can't stop watching! Luc-ky!" The man in the front seat just sighed,"Can I do anything yet?" "Soon soon. You have to have patience my dear Sprint." "Can I do something else in the meantime?" "No you have to wait for the right time to act." "But I want to act now. And what's with my disguise in the material anyway?" The Muse smiled,"Gourry's just CUUUTE!" "My hair is black... I can't be Gourry. Why not someone cool like Rezo?" "He's not a swordsman." "How about that OTHER early swordsman?" "He's not my type." Sprint blinked,"Oh yeah right I forgot you're not really a guy. Don't know how that happened. You act like that guy from Petshop of Horrors." "Thank you." "That wasn't a compliment." "I think it was. It keeps Lossoth away. That's a good thing." Lossoth appeared in the backseat with The Muse,"What was that? I was taking a bath." "In what? Soap and no water?" Lossoth shuddered,"What's water got to do with bathing?" The Wind blew and a crow cawed,"Nevermind," was all Mal could say. "Planet Dungeon... cool I love this place. It's like the Anna Millers of RPG stores. Elves everywhere," he smiled,"Say... I could use a little Woodland crumpet... excuse me." Sprint grimaced and pushed the button to close the door on one of TentacleBoy's tentacles. Lossoth caught the door and it melted in his hands. "Oh sorry I forgot about those." Lossoth glared,"Like hell you did." "Well they'd survive." "It's not like they are firmly attached! Like you I was born limited. Just one small insignificant barely able to piss with tally whacker." "Uh huh," Sprint wasn't amused. "Then I found out about grafting spells," Lossoth scowled,"Only I can only concentrate well enough to fully control 4. I wanted more." "A tragedy. Now could you let go of the door?" "When your other testicle drops maybe I'll teach you some REAL magick." Sprint pointed,"Elf nooky that way." Lossoth ambled away... and Sprint floored it. "He tricked me. It must be all that work he does for Mal and Lord Unpronounceable. Next he'll be trying to make people 'typo'. Please. Anyway... Elf Rape scene ahead," and with that he pushed open the door. "You!" "Me?" Margo smacked her forehead,"Not him." "Who?" Ardice got tired of the guessing game,"What are you doing here you... thing you." Lossoth looked teary eyed,"I used to let you ride my forest of feelings and this is how you talk to me?" "Eld's got Darsh in him. Not you." "Had to try." "Why are you here?" Lossoth looked at them, and then at the elf girls who were admiring them,"Same reason you came here." Margo blinked,"You're buying gifts for people?" "Hell no." "Then?" "Elf babes." Ardice and Margo blinked at each other. Lossoth crossed his fat arms,"Oh come now. I made you smarter than that. You didn't know this was a brothel AND rpg store? This place is where gamer dorks get laid." "Ah so that's why you come here." "Fuck you!" "I have a headache." "Take a crap and get a load off your mind." "Why don't you probe it for me?" Lossoth looked ready to lose his lunch,"And get pooh juices on my little friends? I think not," he shuddered,"Only Malinara makes me do THAT. I won't for anyone else." Margo grinned,"That's not what Tevic said..." "Don't talk about that shapeshifter in front of me please. I have a delicate stomach. It can't take much bullshit." Ardice nodded,"Explains the scowl... you can't stand you." Lossoth closed his smouldering eyes,"What are you dikes here for?" "We're shopping for Eldrick." "Ah the take home package for Rent An Elf eh?" They looked at each other,"Don't you think he gets enough sex?" Margo countered. Lossoth counted,"Even with those other 3 and their new friends that's only... lessee... six plus five, plus... 2... err 3 I'm sure he's banging Washuu... that boomer he stole rides it I bet... that's 15... if he had a tentacle he'd probably bang himself..." "Know from experience do you?" "Bite me." "You don't taste good." Some elf girls giggled. One said maybe he should be cooked first. Lossoth glared at them,"Don't make me rent all of you." "You couldn't take six I see dozens here." "I'd let friends deal with the one's I couldn't. Anyway... 6 ain't enough. Why do you think I tossed you at him hoping he'd kill you? You're all boring." Ardice looked at Margo,"All the work WE put into the multifaceted relationship and WE were boring. Man are we sooo better off with Eld." "Bah you're all just wowed by his Avatarishness. IF his Author gives up on the fic you'll be back to normal and with me... though you'll have to beg your way into the sack. Nothing more hard to take than a boring lay." Margo and Ardice chimed in with,"We know." Margo imitating Lossoth,"Oh you like that don't you?" She rolled her eyes,"No I didn't. Tentacles on breasts... tentacles in me... tentacles down my throat. You had NO original sexual ideas did you?" Ardice nodded,"Right. It's like only knowing how to bunt in baseball. It'll get you around the bases eventually... but it's DULL. And don't start with how you made us like we are to spice things up. It only spiced it up for YOU. We were bored." Margo started flirting with one of the Elves to get her mind off Slobboth,"Does your perkiness end with your personality my little flower?" The elf countered,"Maybe." "I have such sights I could show you. Pleasures you didn't even know were available to you that, like arms, would pull you into them and embrace you like a daughter thought lost at sea." "I... I..." "Shhh... don't talk. We'll have plenty of time for that later. Right now I want to lose myself in your eyes and taste those lips that men and dwarves go to war over having tasted." Rose petals danced in the air around Margo and the elf she had enchanted with her words as they kissed. "T... take me." "As you wish," And Margo began undressing the girl then and there. No one was protesting who was watching. After all... how often do you get to watch an EXPERT slowly and delicately work their magic. One girl was taking notes rapidly. Lossoth's jaw was almost to the floor. He recovered quickly by sucking in his breath... and a rose petal. He then sauntered over to the Cashier and said,"Give me the best girl you have to offer." The Cashier nodded,"I have a real treat... for your tastes. She just signed on yesterday. She even read and understood the subclause about YOU. Kanaetalina... come down. You have a customer," And there was a crash upstairs,"Someone get their eyes off of those two and get ready to catch her just incase." "I'm... I'm... oh dear... I'm on my way," and a blur of motion darted out of one of the rooms along the balcony... but it didn't correct for the handrail and suddenly flailing arms signaled the loss of balance. Over the edge she tumbled. "HELP!!!" Shouting,"Come to Daddy!" Lossoth snaked out a tentacle and grabbed her right out of the air. As he retracted it the other tentacles started growing back to normal size. Apparently... the length gain of one was the loss in stature of the others. [Design flaw? - Medically Detached Zin] "You saved me... I'll... I'll stay with you after my curfew in reward. I do have to be back by sunrise though." "I don't offer breakfast anyway. Lords of Hell don't have to." "Wow... Hell. I was there once as part of an Adventuring party," she said as her tail curled this way and that. Lossoth ran a tentacle along her ear,"I see Elven ears and a catgirl's tail. What's up with that?" She blushed,"My mother was a catgirl and my father was an Elven Cleric. He thought my mom was possessed when she wandered into the village trees and tried to exorcise the bad spirits from her. In her tribe such things were done before courtship to make sure everyone was in their right mind and that no one was being controlled." "So she jumped him?" "In her tribe Clerics are immune to possession so she figured he was safe. And he was old so she figured he'd been searching for years for someone who wasn't possessed. They were married the next day. Some funny business about celibacy unless married or something with dad's religion." Lossoth yawned. She smiled,"So... how about your place? I've only being with Molestation Vines before so I'm new to the tentacle scene. But you look really really skilled so you'll teach me all about it." Lossoth looked at the cashier,"Man you know how to pick them. And I do so love her Aerith costume. So have you changed your policy or is it still," he grinned at the stupid crass joke he was about to say,"Pump first then pay?" "Bingo." "Right then can I add the current Dungeon to the list? I heard there are some kick adventures in it." The Cashier frowned and pointed. Ardice was thumbing through it and looked ready to buy it. Lossoth sighed,"What can you do? I'll just backorder it. Me and the honey gotta runny." Kanaetalina tapped him on the shoulder,"Um... do you like cunnilingus?" "Not if you taste like fish." She stuck her tongue out at him,"If I did I'd eat myself. And I can reach." "Tone down the perkiness," was all he said before poofing them both to Hell. Ardice approached the cashier,"Has Eldrick Tobin been in here? I wanna know if he bought this already." "Eldrick... oh! Eldrick Tobin. No he hasn't been in here in... wow. That's a long time. So I doubt he has that yet. It's been an age since he's been in here. Last time he mentioned some girl moving in with him. Guess he didn't want Elven temptations from getting the best of him, and making her break off whatever they had." "Have." "Oh? You related or something?" "'Only,' as Lossoth would say,'By injection.'" "Quoting Lossoth eh? Only 2 out of every 3 girls he takes home are ever sane afterwards. They end up being personal toys for him. I keep asking him to take them home, for one I'm even willing to pay HIM to take her. Her family gave her up. And she drinks like a fish!" "Oh fun," she said slapping the magazine down. "Yeah I know. Puts Naga to shame," the cashier noticed the mag on the counter,"You said Eld's name. I know about his credit line." "But this is a gift. I have to pay for it." "He's shopped for Christmas gifts for himself before... way back when." "Eld..." "Yeah I once got the girls to pick some things out for him and present them. Just so he wouldn't be shopping for himself. He just about cried. I assume things aren't like that anymore with him?" "Heaven's no," she smiled and stared into space,"He's actually got too many others to worry about usually to just mope around like that." "Others?" "You didn't overhear?" "I only can hear what I look at, or if it's going to endanger me then I'd hear it." "Well Lossoth sent us, His once prized sex... slaves," the cashier winced and looked at the Elf girls,"and elite guard, to kill Eldrick. It... well... failed really quickly." "He kicked your asses?" "In a way. You see usually before a mission we'd 'innoculate' ourselves against human pheromones. That day I don't know what got into us. Maybe deep down we expected to lose, and wanted to savor the distraction of a nice boring guy's pheromones." "So what happened?" "We had a great plan. Infiltrate by taking disguises. Pummel him with our pheromones to lull him... then pounce," she blushed,"But plans don't last after the first step is taken," she blushed harder, and one of the girls handed her a glass of water. After thanking her she continued,"Well anyway... the pummeling backfired majorly. Ours set him to making more... which made us make more... and on and on. Soon none of us could take it anymore. "Right about then the people 2 of us were impersonating..." "How big WAS this Elite Force?" "Oh... 6 of us. All Demonettes. So anyway..." One of the girls chimed in,"Demon... ettes?" Ardice sighed,"Created Demons." "Aren't all demons created?" The Cashier smirked,"Fawn... stop it." Ardice waved it off,"No it's okay," she smiled at the girl -who blushed in a way that said guys weren't on her menu. Ardice blinked then went back to lecturing,"Like I was saying. The Created. Multiple types of magicks were used then a sort of DNA like template was mixed in." Fawn interrupted again,"Like cloning?" Ardice considered,"That's as near as I think you could get with just science. Demon material was scripted with certain characters from Anime, fused with the template via magic, and forced to harden like an egg. A while later we 6 hatched from those." "But you don't LOOK any different from a normal Anime girl. You don't have a yohimbe or anything do you?" "No and not a vagina dentata either," Ardice laughed,"No just wings." "I've performed a thorough study. I don't see any." "We can all hide them from sight to better blend in." "But you look like Anime characters who are established." Ardice shrugged,"We only failed the one time," she lied,"And It's been a fun failure so far." "Fun? You mean all 6 of you... have... I mean you..." "There's a schedule for who gets him when. Without it the whole house might get frustrated. Eld's kinda shy." The Awww's went up. The cashier looked confused,"So Even though he has that other girl, she and he BOTH are okay with all this?" "Actually there's two others too," She sighed,"Yeah. It's confusing to me too. Probably something like,'You can bed who you want to provided you _come home_ to me.' I don't think relationships like that can live outside of Anime though. Or maybe it's who's involved. We sisters are used to sharing one man. The 2 other sisters seem to be happy enough to have him at all... even if they were sharing him with a full army of girls. And the girl who lead to him not coming here anymore shares this daunting near perfect love with him. Like I said in my example." "Only in Anime." "Yeah I know." "Doesn't bother you?" "I have my own reasons for liking him. I don't feel I HAVE to tie him to a wall and slowly MOLD him into someone I could like. Like my last boyfriend. I had to give HIM a spine and everything. Eld I just feel I can take at face value. There he is... say hi to him... make him blush every now and then... remember he's ticklish. As complicated as it should be it isn't. I can't explain." "And the girl on the floor with Desdreina?" "You'd have to ask my sister yourself." "Can't right now she's got her mouth full." "True." Margo came up for air,"Ask me when I come back with my sister tomorrow. Charhon has to have this one. I could savor this girl for years and not get tired of her. Charhon MUST experience her. My neko must know this joy." The cashier sweatdropped,"Appointment logged... but you said sister?" Ardice shrugged,"What's a little incest between clutch mates?" "Usually a big deal. Well not birds... but you aren't birds." "True. But there's worse in the universe. No matter how far you travel. No matter what you do. There is always something worse. However there isn't always something better. I suppose that's to make the heroes busy and the bad guys plentiful." "Right... so I put this... today and tomorrow's sessions all on Eldrick's account?" Margo gave a thumbs up. Somehow she could hear. Even with how much noise she was making the girl utter. The cashier looked worried,"And if Margo breaks her forever?" Ardice looked over,"We'll burn that bridge when we get there. Is she straight, bi, gay, or other?" "She signed on last month... her application just said,'Lost in Variable Geo competition.' And with all the computer games coming out not a lot of people have been coming in here. Damned Diablo 2 and Baldur's Gate 2." Ardice looked at the girl again,"In the new variant rules?" "How'd you guess?" "Oh just a bad feeling that's been brewing for a while," Ardice smirked, "Margo... lots more shopping to do... and we still have to make it look like we've been home all day. Hurry up." Margo quasi nodded and suddenly Desdreina had one of those earth shaking orgasms that normally Other Planar Horrors and worse would get destroyed over. And then the pure moment of absolute pleasure was over. Sweat had turned to steam on the pair of them. Elf Girls were looking at Margo like she was a goddess sent to them from on high to whisk them off to the lands of tumultuous sex. Margo bent over and grabbed the girl's hand hoisting her to unsteady feet. Margo gently brushed hairs on the girls face to un mat them. She then kissed her soundly up against one of the pillars holding up the balcony in the Inn/Brothel/RPG Store. Then she broke away and spoke,"Only one has ever so impressed me before... and you meet her tomorrow. Be ready." "O... kay. I think I'm going to faint." "Someone be a darling and catch her for me. I don't think she can stand on her own." Fawn walked over,"I've got her." "I'm ready to go now sis." Ardice smirked,"Took you long enough. I had to give a whole lecture to eat time." "Forgive me? Please." "Oh alright." Fawn tried to catch Ardice's attention, and hold onto the now asleep Desdreina,"Um... excuse me." Ardice looked over,"Hmm?" "Will... uh..." She took a breath,"Will you be coming in tomorrow too?" "I like guys Fawn." "Just this once?" Ardice looked ready to rebuff her but when she looked at the girl. Ardice's as yet unspoken words must have been plain on her face. Fawn broke into gentle tears and looked ready to run. Ardice admired the ground for a second before walking over to her. "How about I come back after I'm done shopping," she said as she placed her hands on Fawn's shoulders. New tears welled up, and Ardice leaned forward and kissed them away,"Tears just don't look good on you." Fawn blushed,"I thought you were going to suck my eyes out." Ardice chuckled,"Brains... Brains..." She kissed the girl's hand like a noble lord and spun on her heel and out the door. Outside Margo found her panting on the other side of a poster. "I'll... need pointers for later." Margo shook her head,"You've been with Konei before." "Konei would get off to a postage stamp being stuck down there. Besides that was on a bet. This is real." "Well I can't rescue a 'Prince'... maybe a princess... but that's not you 'Tenjou-san'" Ardice paled,"Is THAT where I got that?" "Of course. And here I thought you were paying attention to Juri." "That's your bag. I was thinking what fun it would be to turn the tables on _Akio_ and put him on my wall. See what I can make him into." "Yes world. This girl is twisted. Let's go. There's more shopping left to do." "Yeah..." Margo smiled,"Before the entire cast of this fanfic ends up lesbians." "Oh ha ha." "Oh you know you want her BAD." "I do not! I was consoling a soul in agony." "Yeah sexual agony. She hasn't gotten any in 2 months at least." "I don't need to know." "Uh huh... shall I ask Eld or are you going to?" Ardice blinked,"For what?" Margo smiled,"For a bokken silly. A Prince has to have a sword to duel in the arena of lust." "I'm not listening la. la. la. To Silky Doll we go... la. la. la. Presents for our sisters tra. la-la. la. la." Margo chuckled and lead the way. IN HELL "Mo... More... oh yeah. Moremoremoremoremore! YES YESSS!!!" went the half catgirl in the brazier lit room. "What are you... a sexual black hole?" [Hello... Zin here. We at The Arc understand you may have sexual desires and needs above and beyond the fic's actual content. To this end soon there WILL be an elaboration on the above Lossoth and the Half Elf scene. It's not included HERE because many find tentacles offensive. There will be other such - subchapters- in the future as need and author perversion dictates. Thank you - Disclaimer And Information Zin] [Here's the link http://the-arc.net/dwd_01-outtake1.txt -Coughing Fit Zin] AT THE MALL "Excuse me Miss but why are you taking your clothes... if those are indeed clothes... off in the middle of the store?" An attendant rushed over to them and asked. Hope withdrew her staff from hammerspace and shoved it at the inquisitive clerk, "My Identification." The girl eyed it -awed at it's simple splendor. "'The bearer is or is a deputy of the Incarnation of Hope. When in pursuit of job related things they have ALL right of action. Should you have questions about this License to do whatever, please call...' Why'd you make me read that?" "To tell you to cease and desist from interrupting me," The girl blinked,"Now... me and the man behind me are going to have sex in one of your changing booths. You are not to interrupt. You are also not allowed to compensate yourself for your own benefit without my or his prior consent. Now, do you wish to compensate yourself or be compensated by us for this breech of your normal store policy?" "Compensate?" Hope blinked,"Yes. Copies of the video I will be making... hooking up a monitor and allowing people to watch us... making customers pay to listen to us... OR us paying you for any lost revenue now or in the future due to lack or glut of costumers. Irregardless we will pay you for any damage to the booth not that any is expected. What are your compensatory terms if any?" Hope was now naked again and placing her outfit in hammerspace. A bounding Uber Perv came by to take his next panty delivery... and relieve the attendant of hers as well. Did I mention soon the whole mall had a draft too -as females of the nearly whole age spectrum found themselves without their panties. After the clerk got over her draft she asked,"I can't get you to not to at all?" "All right of action is mine." "This like some pervy license to kill?" Hope shook her head,"That's revocable." The girl blanched and looked like she'd rather be run over,"I know it doesn't matter but can I clear this with the manager anyway." "All right," The girl started walking away as a male patron 'accidentally bumped into Hope and got a quick feel in. Hope just looked at him, as Eld behind her got ready to give him a floor to ceiling vertical ventilation. The feel was more like a grope by a man who was used to just doing as he pleased -else Eld would let Hope handle the whole thing. Hope called to the attendant,"One moment. How much is your front room window?" "I think it's like 2000 US dollars just for the mountings." "Then you'll just have to bill me," And Hope grabbed the guy who's hands were brushing dust off of her -which was all from him and planted on him for this purpose- and starting to get too friendly. She spun lightly. In one fluid motion as she levitated off the floor she sent the groper through the front of store glass. He landed in a heap at the feet of a mall cop. "You MAY wish to arrest that man. The decision is up to you." Eld caressed Hope clean with thin threads of air between his hands. Hope seemed to have totally forgotten about the unwanted rake as she ran her fingers through Eld's hair. Eld continued to run the threads over her though he was increasingly aware of the audience. It's disconcerting to see a probably normally very straight and narrow Business Woman and mother biting a knuckle of her hand that should be blocking either her son or her daughter's eyes from the spectacle. The boy was even pointing and asking mom what was going on. She didn't seem able to answer. Eldrick rolled a fog in to re-moisten Hope's skin, and after picking out a pair of gloves on a rack tied the threads to the gloves. He then held up a hand before Hope asked what he was planning and walked through to fog to the mother outside. "If watching someone receive such a massage has this effect perhaps you need to experience this for yourself. There is a thread of air between the middle fingers on this pair of gloves. With the gloves on you pull the thread along your skin. Better than a razor also if you shave your legs. I wouldn't know I haven't looked. Enjoy." Then like a tan Santa Claus he produced 2 books of gift certificates for each child's favorite locations. "You can even dispense these to your children should you wish to use the gloves. Take care." She blinked,"Bow to the nice man." The kids stopped trying to see where the gift certificates were for and quickly turned and muttered their thanks. Soon after their curiosity was in full swing. The mother just slid the gloves away and walked off. Eldrick smiled and walked back through the fog. He couldn't find Hope. "Hope? Where are you?" The Manager of the store stepped forward. He coughed into his fist and said,"The Young Lady is in a changing booth already. Just try to keep the noise down." Eldrick nodded. "And could you clear the mist?" "Of course. I had to wipe fingerprints off so her skin suffered from a drop in moisture," that being said Eldrick blew the fog away with a wave of his hand. The clerk ignoring the magic show asked,"Why did you give that lady the gifts?" Eldrick turned and walked to where he could see Hope's beckoning finger. Before entering he said,"I couldn't see a wedding ring on her hand. A pleasurable massage could probably do her good. There was a great sadness in her eyes as well. A dead husband perhaps," he shrugged,"Anyway we'll try not to deafen you." The manager nodded and grabbed the clerk's arm,"Wait till your break for curiosity to peak." "But they'll be done by then." "No," he turned and watched Hope pull Eldrick into the doored booth,"they won't be done for a long time." A small form descended from a perch near a sky light,"They're going at it again already? They only just had breakfast an hour ago! I hate this fic. Everyone constantly going at it. Where's the plot? Where's the suspense? Intrigue... hell where's the direction!" "There isn't. At least not to the naked eye," said a man behind a multitude of boxes amidst a gaggle of Elven females,"With any story you can't just drop in in the middle. You have to at least skim around in previous chapters." "Nice nice. Who fucking cares? And anyway who are you Mister whipped? You an author avatar also to be walking around with so many girls? Fucking all of them I imagine right?" The boxes hovered over his head suddenly. Hell's Pixie expected a fight, but instead found a man smiling at her. "No miss I'm not. I am an author avatar... or at least I was. Maybe I still am. My Author gave up on his story a while ago. I persisted. I think I was GOING to be just another Author Avatar with loose morals and a penchant for blowing things up... but I never got passed being in Tokyo and having an RPG store." "So where are the girls from? Elven Tenchi Masaki Syndrome?" He shook his head,"It's a long story... started by renting out the top floor for rooms. Some tenants with looser morals than average started brokering their services for money. Elven girls misheard that it was a great place to pick up guys somehow, and started arriving in droves. Customers started hitting on them. Some girls accepted but with no place cheap nearby... they asked to go upstairs. It keeps the store stocked. The Buzz about the place has died down with the rise of Planet Hentai. And it's just as well. Too many guys come in who aren't worthy in my opinion. There was someone pushing through the crowd then as Gala considered going to sleep over the boring tale,"Barathain! Stop talking! You do that ALL DAY! We need to get booze before we go back. I feel like a fine deep red wine... and that'll be your blood if we don't get a move on!" Gala asked the man,"Who's that?" "She calls herself Nulise this month. After a character in the current Dungeon. Last month it was something barely pronounceable, and before that... well I forget. I think she'll keep this name though. It really fits her," Nulise came charging up reaching for a sword that was left back home, "Here she comes now." ,"I said let's move. You should be glad my sword is back home. And if it wasn't at home you would be dead by now. Move it soldier!" "She's great isn't she?" the guy sighed,"I'm not her type though." Gala stopped preparing to fight,"Does she have a type?" "I wish I knew. I'd buy them a nice house in a nice dark place or whatever. She needs to be happy." "Gah mush... get it away," she said making to fly closer to the shop where Eld and Hope had gone before Barathain stood before her suddenly,"'Move it Soldier.'" "If you get any closer you will just enhance her lusts and what not. From your actions you wouldn't like them to remain in there all day." "You can sense me too?" "Yep. Why else would I have gotten sappy about Nulise. She's not my type anymore than I'm hers. Incoming," he moved to duck and Gala blurred up to a skylight as Nulise charged over to Barathain and gut punched him at a dead run. No tears... just blind rage. She glared down at the heap of a man,"Are you... done?" He nodded. "Then let's go." "Alright." Gala looked on,"He's glad he's an Avatar I bet." IN THE BOOTH The clothing was all on the floor, the shop manager had swapped out the black and white camera for the one Hope had acquired from Ami Kintaro at breakfast at Planet Hentai. Everything was in motion. All was ready. Except Eldrick. Hope was undaunted. She also apologized often and profusely. She couldn't stop herself. She even said how this was exactly how things had happened when Eld had mumbled in his sleep. Eld apologized right back. He told her to go right ahead. It seems a case of stage fright had settled on him, he thought. "Don't let it ruin your enjoyment. Maybe I'll warm up to the mood. I can hear the whole mall outside it seems... and while I'd hate the embarrassment of a bad performance... I also can't move." Hope slowed down for a second and looked down at his face,"Move... ment is not required," And kissed him soundly. "I wish I could be like I was for you and Ami earlier." "Yes. Breakfast was pleasant." "The cheering got to me though. I think that's daunting me now. Praise positive or negative is my fear." Hope stopped for a second,"Picture that they are behind a big thick wall of glass. It's one way so you can't see them. They can see you but that's okay. Now close your eyes and imagine. It's just you and me and this big wall of glass. People only walk by on the other side. There is no constant crowd. No audience to appease just the random onlooker who is pleased to see ANYTHING and move on," She resumed and a look started passing over her face that Eld was very familiar with and just incase she wanted to toss caution to the wind... he kissed her soundly as she had one of her nice normal 10 minute orgasms. Or at first it seemed like one, but it stretched out. On and on she bucked. Filling his mouth and ears with moans of increasing volume. It was like the orgasm that would not end. He considered it a small consolation that his had. "Eld you have to stop me..." she whispered quickly,"I lack the strength... to do it... harder." He couldn't fathom how going faster or slower would stop anything but when she ran out of steam and her volume started going higher. He figured it just might work. On the downthrusts she was moaning quieter. She already had her legs wrapped around him in a death grip so he only stood up and leaned her against the booth's mirrored wall. Eye's closed lest he notice the goofy expressions on his face, Eldrick started hard and fast. Sure he couldn't do that forever, but she was starting to look in pain from orgasming. "Listen to the sound of my voice. Listen to my compliments and only them. Try not to think, Hope. Consider the absurdity of my words. Try to laugh instead of cry." And he started in with the lamest thing he could,"Ah-ha you like that don't you. Yes sir I'm the best there is when it comes to banging. Akio Ohtori himself asks me for pointers. You see how I did that there? I have a patent on that. Registered at IBM too. Because I'm such a love machine. I hope the camera is fast enough to see my next move cause if it blinks it won't know anything is going on. Ha you're smiling. You like Eld's Ocean Motion. I am the key to your floodgate of love. Girls all over come for a piece of my ride and you're feeling just how right they are to do so. "Shit, I kick all kinds of ass in the fuck game. I even wrote my own book. The Kami Sutra. Kami? You ask what that means? It means God. It's the Sacred book of God Sex. Maybe if you ask nicely I'll put some words about you in it. I'm a Sex God I can do shit like that. Word to your inbox honey, cause you so good I'm going to have to send you some MALE," and Eldrick opened his eyes as Hope wrenched her tongue in his mouth. She was probably sick of the weird crap coming out of it. She was almost giggling and then blinked and let his mouth go suddenly,"OH GODS YES!!! YES MY SEX GOD YES!!!!!" and her muscles squeezed down so hard on him he thought she might chop it off. She quieted, her orgasmic glee plain as she stuck her tongue out at him before saying,"Oh my Master. Can you forgive me for orgasming before told to?" He burst out laughing and they held each other as fits wracked them both. There was a knock at the door to the booth. "Excuse me? Can I get you two to come out AS YOU ARE? I think you should take a bow and there's something I must discuss." Embarrassed as hell to be reminded people were watching... and especially at the popcorn many had, Eldrick turned beet red as they came out of the booth. Hope was fairing far better. "What is it you wished to discuss?" The guy in a plain white shirt and tie shook his head,"Bow you earned it." Eldrick bowed at the waist aware of the pain that caused due to the little one having feared for it's flesh being fully inflated to fight the 'evil' vagina muscles. Hope curtseyed to the ground as if she was at a formal ball in Vienna in the best gown money could buy. Of course she wasn't and that was part of the point. For the briefest second they probably didn't seem naked at all to the onlookers, but that faded once the applause hit. Some of the crassest comments floated their way. Cheers went up, "Hope's Funbags looked great bouncing on the video feed. Are they real?" "Yo smooth shit sex god, was that Viagra in there? If that was, I'm gonna get me some of that." "Hey when's the next show? I might buy something just to have an excuse to stick around." "Can you autograph my inner thigh?" "Can I snap a picture with you, Hope?" "Can I get a picture of me and both of you?" "Picture my ass can I be in the next show?" Hope raised her hands, and began speaking. She cleverly repeated herself after everyone got quiet enough to hear her,"We are not professionals. This was a one time event. This was only an early Christmas present between us. Do not pester the management for tapes or the like. Also do not think that because we chose this location this is some couples make out location. The manager agreed because we threatened to close him down. No Viagra was used. Vita Soy is better for your heart anyway. Yes, my breasts are real. Tapes will be autographed, but not individually. Tapes, DVDs, or whatever your medium preferences can be acquired online or through mail order. The company is Cool Devices. It's in the 'yellow pages'," She said emphasizing with her fingers the quotation marks,"They will not have a copy until tomorrow. Further inquiry at this current shopping location will only get you a Cool Devices business card. Failure to just take the card and go after questioning will result in Police Action. Of this I assure all listeners. For those who do not wish to look up the address, please obtain a card from the barrel by the desk. After New Years this establishment will return all business cards, and wash it's hands of the incident or not at it's discretion. I am now going for what I loosely call my clothes. Then Eldrick will get his. These will be the last of anything you see from us here without purchasing a tape." "Uh thank you for watching?" Eldrick said embarrassed and stuck out on a limb. Camera flashes went off when Hope bent over at the hip to get her clothes -out of hammerspace- in the booth. Eldrick blushed further when he realized some were of him. The evil man unit was still convinced it's life was in danger and was quite steadfast. Hope used one of the panties to clean herself off before putting it safely into hammerspace and out of accidental Havoc-grab. Now clean she dressed slowly to much camera flashing and video feeding. Hope walked back over and nodded to Eldrick as she got out of camera path. Rigidly in more ways than one, Eldrick walked to the booth and following Hope's lead bent over for his clothes. Girls and guys let their voices be heard, much like when Hope had done this, and Eldrick just had to close the door. He worried he'd have a stroke or something from the blood rushing away from his heart. He dressed under the camera's eye having forgotten about it. The crowd did not. He heard Hope quiet them down, after he inadvertently gave them a closer look at the errant man flesh. Dressed he reentered the world. Snatching up Hope quickly they got out of the local area, before things got any weirder. They hid out in a unisex bathroom so Hope could clean up a little better before another pair was un-stealable. "Ah there you two are!" Came the voice of the Tie Guy,"Sorry about the crowd that's kinda MY fault. You see I tour the malls looking for couples being naughty, so I'm kinda well known." Hope sitting on the sink and cooling herself with splashes of water quickly broke in before he went further,"We were not being naughty. We were engaging in light to heavy deviance when you get down to it. We left naughty behind," she said as she tugged Eldrick closer to kiss him. "Alright... I look for public displays of love or lust... and reward them," he patted the briefcase with him. "Now... you scored about as well as a couple in an alley in a really small town I stayed over in. However I know they staged it for the local tourism board. Was this planned?" Eldrick cleared his throat,"Not really... I mumbled something like this in bed last night." "Ah you stay together. Married?" "Uh... no." "Any plans to?" Hope answered,"No need to." "Alright. Relationship?" Hope smiled,"Can we lie?" "I've already forgotten your names." Eld caught Hope's twisted grin bug,"The more creative the higher the Perv points?" "You better believe it. Even a lied,'Uh... she's my sister dude.' Holds more weight than say,'Uh... we're so close she's like my sister dude.' SO lay it on me. How brassy are your balls?" "I have a tan." "Kidding aside." Hope nodded,"Alright... you want brazen," She looked at Eldrick,"Braced for this one?" Eldrick gave the thumbs up,"I'm in unshakeable mode." The guy muttered about forgetting he heard that. Hope looked at Tie Guy,"I'm his daughter." "Stop the presses! Move over Lolita! Biological?" "Correct." "You look more on the level age wise than that." "I was sent to the past and raised there." "For this?" "Oh of course we looked forward to it right Dad?" Eldrick at risk of skipping a beat if he thought about it said,"Honey you shouldn't call me Dad. It's so informal. I'm your Father. Say it with me now... FA-THER." "PLAY THING." Eldrick smirked,"Close enough." Tie guy was scribbling notes,"So how's mom handling this?" Hope answered,"Mom is fully part of it." "I'd better give you 3 T-shirts then," and then he produced them,"You can wear these with pride or not. Up to you. You've earned it. At least you two weren't just trying to increase tourism. Here," he handed them the T-shirts. 'Look out! Perverts need room too! Or would you like to join in?' On the front and: 'One of the naughtiest people in Tokyo! And unrepentant!' "Of course if these aren't exactly what you want I can have them changed. The fabric is top quality. And comfortable enough to sleep in. We've even heard that the shirts are strong enough to integrate into a harness." Eldrick was just shocked at the gift,"What... no listing of 'cardinal offences'?" "Well if you want them more personalized... I can have them ready by Christmas." Hope chimed in again,"'Warning Known Pervert. Offenses listed on back.' And on the back 'Proud to have done the following' and a list of offenses with check marks. Please also list 'My Father' 'My Mother' and 'My Sister'" "Can do. Wait sister? Got a brother too?" "Eldrick's genetics do not lead to males readily." "Sister live with you?" "Yes and a one time assassin hit squad sent to kill Eldrick." He dropped his pen he was writing notes with,"Assassin hit squad?" "Six girls of demon origin," Eld reluctantly showed the guy a photo of everyone from LAST Christmas. Hope continued, "They got one whiff and decided they were home. My D... Father is irresistible." "I've heard of guys like that," he retrieved his pen, "Can't keep the girls off of them. Normally though they are shyer... wait nevermind. That wasn't exertion painted on your face earlier was it?" Eldrick looked more embarrassed,"Not really..." Tie Guy laughed a bit,"And I'll tack on the web address... when you give it to me," he handed them a postcard,'Simple Guy in a Tie.' It also featured his cell phone number and a glossy picture of one of the shirts. He smiled,"I tried for normal sized cards but they didn't do the shirt justice and I felt fake. All that plain text. Well anyway I'm looking forward to that call!" Minutes after he left, Eldrick looked at Hope,"Incest?" Hope concentrated on her clean up,"It works for Margo and Charhon." "There is that," He shook his head .o0(Hope as my daughter there's a stretch. Come on Eld... say something the silence is lengthening.)0o. "So anything you wanna hit right quick before I go for my test?" "Could you suck the rest out? I think I've missed some." Eldrick voiced his doubts that she would have, but knelt before the holy offering nonetheless. AT THE HOUSE "There... that's the last of the light up Nerf Penii. Glowing moss in a vial in a foam penis. And I thought it was weird when you brought in the Barney Purple one's last year." Ami appraised her adhesion job,"You know if we can find out which moss is used I say we leave these up all year. Certainly the mounting brackets." Joy was beaming,"Yes yes that's a good idea," Joy was just tickled pink that the company behind it had come up with this upgrade when a researcher was spelunking. "I even got some for my room." Ami smiled,"You could just stay with the three of us." "I know... it is just that when I get near him," she almost shivered,"I don't think about sleeping. Snuggling and cuddling and groping beneath the sheets yeah but... SLEEP? Inconceivable," she winked at Lady Kintaro. "Yeah I know how it goes. It's funny when one or the other of us is on edge... the other just seems to know and does something about it. I think I still have dirt on my butt." "Dirt?" "I was in the greenhouse." Joy giggled,"There are so many things I could say about that." Ami nodded,"Yep. I know," she paused,"So need help wrapping anything?" "No peeking at the gifts." "I'd better not look at you then," Miss Kintaro teased. Joy tsked,"No no no... I'm for New Years." "I dunno... that still might turn into an orgy." "Fine by me... sweat and sex everywhere! LUCKY!" Joy held her fingers aloft in a V-sign. The door opened and in walked 3 tired demon girls. Charhon flopped onto a couch face first. Haris tripped over her and landed on the floor and Astrala busied herself in the kitchen. Her intent was to refresh herself before passing out. She barely succeeded. Haris finally asked why Joy was brimming with... joy. "Oh just the thought that New Years might turn into a big honking orgy... with bodies and sweat and sex everywhere! Doesn't that just turn you on?" "Not right now. We just had to fight bunch of mecha freaks for parts for gifts Astrala intends to make. Or should I say duel. Was it a duel Charhon?" "Merg flwes." "There. Confirmation. A Duel." Ami looked ready to sweatdrop,"You understood that?" "Same way she talks when she's buried in some girl." She pressed for the tease,"And you know this how?" "Talking to her when she's in Margo... talking to her earlier when some biker chick got pissed with me beating up her boyfriend when he screamed about how his bike was fucked up cause his Author Avatar buddy got the crap kicked out of him and he couldn't fix his hog for him. He'd screamed in my ear." "About the biker chick?" "Oh yeah Charhon told me to step aside and that she'd handle everything. The girl threw a punch. Got her hand grabbed. Another and that got grabbed. Then Charhon twisted her around in her arms and... lessee what's close? Oh one of those naughty vampire dance scene things." "In other words she seduced and made out with the girl." "Yeah. Charhon feels guilty though. Something about being a wild fuck beast screwing anything that has a pulse." Charhon turned her head,"I did not say those words." "Well you're guilty I got that part right." "I just hope Margo forgives me." And from the stairs came,"Forgives you what? A Tryst? I'll only reproach you if she doesn't find a way to find your phone number for seconds. If that girl isn't stalking you I will be peeved." "Oh thank you." "Oh by the way. I found someone you must try tomorrow. We have reservations with her. A Pure Elf of a great bloodline. Probably at the brothel to get off before some arranged marriage when she's 60 or something. But she tasted..." Margo walked over, shook her head and just flat out picked up Charhon,"Tired or not the memory is just..." And she carried her off. Joy was in happy tears,"Love is so great. Can I carry you to my room Haris?" Haris gave her a flat look,"No." "But I want to!" "No." "Okay," and Joy turned to Ami who had sounded the affirmative, "Now Joy do you wanna in your room or Eld's room?" "Under the mistletoe over there?" Ami blinked,"On the stairs?" "Yep." Ami chuckled,"Okay... at least we know you aren't some alien visitor." "Of course not. Show me an alien with these numbers." "Tsunami count?" "She's not got my inches." "Blood Falcon." "She's not an alien!" "You win... I'm on the bottom." "Vee!" said Joy as her hand thrust into the air again. "No posing or you're on the bottom." DOWNSTAIRS "This jacket... no... this one. Or maybe the blazer. Should I wear a tie? Maybe I should sneak into Margo's room and check her invitation to Anilesbocon2000. Maybe it has clothing tips," she shook her head,"Anime lesbians have inherent flawless style. Proof I will suck as a lesbian. Oh I better just grab something and go. Vest, tight pants and... this frilly blouse. No... leather vest to go with the pants. Wait! Slacks! Yes!! This works!!!" She looked at herself in the mirror,"I just realized something. What is with my wardrobe!? This is my most feminine blouse... and I look like some Renaissance Fop!" She noticed a lipstick stain on the collar,"This was owned by a fop!" She smirked,"That would explain it. Still can't believe I had sex with him though," She shook her head and headed for the elevator. "Try to remember the last time you masturbated well Ardice. You'll need all those tricks if you are to survive. And stop talking out loud." <1/15/01> AT THE MALL "This is 180th class degrading," said a voice and voice alone,"Why not get Joy to do this? Wait that was not an intelligent thing to say she'd cock it up. No they wanted reliable. They asked for me. "It's still degrading," the voice finished. }Bing Bong{ went the 'customers' bell on the little shop, and the clerk looked up. She looked left and right, and could see nobody. "Must be kids playing a prank." She was of course disabused of the notion as the voice chimed in,"Sorry it was the brief case." "ACK!! Wait... who said that?" "I did." "Where are you?" "If I specifically figured out my spatial coordinates I... wait you can't see me I forgot," and a shimmer in the air occurred and Rapture's disembodied head appeared. One guy reaching for a business card for the Cool Devices store, flat out fainted. He didn't hit the ground before someone who'd had the business card tattooed onto them earlier absconded with the guy. The clerk looked ill herself. Rapture presented her ID. The clerk sweatdropped mightily. It was written between her now visible breasts,"I'm not thrilled at the location either. I'm here for the tape." "Yes right I was told you were coming." "On my way. Not coming. There's a difference." "Right... um... here it... wait... it's gone!" The clerk hefted the safe up onto the counter before her bones could realize the error of doing that,"We even had Takibana Armored come get our money early so we'd have room in the safe!" Rapture picked up the safe like it was made out of rice paper,"Not a Beam or Light Saber... it's missing the signature of a Light Hawk Wing. There's a mind presence. It's been masked but I can still tell it's a Psi Blade. A Professional did this... not just a hepped up on goofballs Otaku or AA. Thank you for keeping the safe undisturbed," she put it back where it had come from. "Well like I said I only just checked it." "Your lack of caution saved the investigation. I will be leaving now." "Um... okay. Be careful." Rapture had turned around and been programming the droid/secure storage carrier for it's dimensional portalling home. She stopped this and turned around,"I don't have to be careful. I can be replaced by one just like me," Rapture turned back around and finished programming the droid. Both of them then stepped through a portal and were gone. The Clerk looked into the backroom,"I said what you told me too." "That you did," said Sprint as he stepped into the light,"This should thicken the plot like Mal wants it. Why she cares I just don't know." "Who?" "Never you mind girl," and he held up his Psi Blade at her point first," I was never here." Out of fear for her life she fainted, and he put a little device behind her left ear. Smiling wickedly he removed it and stepped away from her. He used a fingernail to change some settings and tossed it behind him into the shop. It exploded on impact with the wall sending out a coursing shockwave of pure light. When it reached where he'd been standing... he'd already launched through a skylight. 'When the smoke cleared' there was no trace he'd been interacting with anyone. Even the safe was fixed. Broken glass from the skylight? None. What broken skylight? "Amazing what technologies the CP use. Marvelous things. Glad I still have 2 more," and with that he leapt up into the air from the tip of a lightning rod and vanished. Gala looked up pissed,"That fucking bastard almost stepped on me! I am so god damned glad I stepped my ass out of the way. Shit sucking panty waist of a dickless moron!" She fumed for a good extra minute before finally she spoke again,"Though I wonder where the tape is... he didn't have it. Even the camera is gone. I thought Mal was giving me 3 more days. Flaming bloody asses in bondage I'm pissed!" And with that she disappeared herself. ONLINE "Who put this on the game grid! Is just anyone wandering around the system? A Camcorder huh? Wait this is real! How'd this get in here. 'Property of...' The HECK! She's alive!" Peer stood motionless for a good minute. He finally looked back at the tag,"Dad thought she was dead when she didn't arrive at Lossoth's... hmm... 'Email this address for instructions on how to return: eldrick@...'" Peer dropped it and Lag caught the mysterious black and grey object,"Him again. Why is it always ELDRICK TOBIN!" "HIM HERO." "Right... and I'm the villain. It's time to make his life a living hell! But gotta start small. Email was really small. I thought he'd care more. So time to up the stakes," Peer suddenly nodded his head,"Right. Lag take care of intruders. Hurt them real bad. Slow their connections down to nothing. I'm stepping Offline for a moment. I shouldn't be too long. I'm going to raise the stakes like I said." Peer integrated himself with the system turning it back to wakefulness,"COMPUTER EXPORT PEER_1 THOUGH NODE 4483905" && Compliance. && And with that Peer turned into a string of data and rocketed away at high speed. Much like Megaman/Rockman transporting between locations. Lag just blinked and went back to playing with his new friend. NJ00 suddenly appeared,"Man is he annoying... wait... what's this on the ground. Lag can I pick that up?" she pointed to the camcorder that Lag had put down when he'd forgotten about it. "LADY CAN PICK UP. LADY FIX PEER. LADY MAKE FRIEND. LADY NICE," Lag said as he smiled down at the Demonic Nurse Joy. The Pokéfiend picked it up and accessed the data. Then she picked up her hat and fanned herself with it,"Interesting content. I'll have to talk to these people... this Ami Kintaro... and Eldrick Tobin. First I should look into their email to see what kind of people they are," and she sank into the floor to go access said files. <1/17/01> IN FRONT OF PLANET DUNGEON "A Quick breath... and in we go," said Ardice as she pushed open the door. The door opened on a scene of bustle. Packages and garments flying every which way. Ardice just stuck her free hand in her pocket and sighed. It was like looking at a herd of zebras. So what if pretty much every elven slant was represented... and thus there were height and coloration issues almost throughout the spectrum, it still was like trying to find a specific needle in a barrel of needles without pricking yourself. "They must have done some shopping too. I guess I'll sit on at a gaming table and wait." Some guy came up to her then,"Wow you look great! You here for the LARP? Your style and grace show you to be who I'm looking for." "La... OH! No. Sorry." "Really that's a shame. You look the part. My bones turned to jelly when you came in. Your walk speaks of your skills." A voice shouted,"She's not who you're," there was a pause,"looking for. I'm over here. Wait I'd better get over there. You'd get the crap kicked out of you trying to cross the girls," and with that Nulise as she called herself currently flowed through the throng like a boat on the ocean. Chaos flowed back in behind her like she'd never been there. "Fighter / Black Guard as advertised." The Guy dressed as a wizard sweatdropped,"Didn't know you were Drow... sorry. I'm Chet Lazlo. I play The Great Lazloz." "Didn't know you were a pathetic average male gamer. Guess we all have to live with our disappointments. Call me Nulise like in Jan/Feb's Dungeon. Where we going?" "This cool guy offered to take us to a great location. Some pocket dimension... looks just like the real thing! I here the spiders will really bite you if you're not up for a fight. Cool huh?" "So I'm the nursemaid to make sure you guys don't get dead? I can do that." "No you're in the party. We're all experienced. We're all Name level." "How nice for you," Nulise looked at Ardice,"Flowers. Nice touch. Candy too?" Ardice shook her head,"The candy was foisted on me... it's not something I'd buy." "Oh? Something nasty? Fawn'll love it. Not that she's nasty or perverted but. It's the thought that counts or some crap," she looked at The Great Lazloz,"Move it worm or we'll be late. The double bladed sword is quite real." He nodded, "Right! I'm right behind you! Say do you know wushuu?" "Ask again and I'll hurt you." "You RP well. You're in character already!" "I was born in character." "Oh yeah sorry." A hand waved itself infront of Ardice's vision as she watched the pair leave the building,"I'm over here," a voice said playfully. Ardice blinked and locked eyes with Fawn,"Sorry about that." "And Hi to you too. You shouldn't ogle Nulise. She's bad news. She had to kill her last boyfriend." "Whoa... why?" "He was sleeping with her girlfriend." "I see." "So stand up!" Fawn was motioning,"I wanna get a good look at you," she smiled winningly. Ardice stood and it was in her normal flow-like style. No pauses. Nothing out of place. It spoke volumes of her grace and poise - And lethality - at the same time. Fawn finally 'picked her jaw off the floor' and walked around Ardice. She seemed to make note of every detail. She even paused to sniff the flowers that hadn't been presented yet. Fawn was visibly stunned,"WOW! You went all out... and here I just pulled something out of my closet." "This IS from my closet," Ardice assured before suddenly wordlessly handing the flowers over. Fawn smelled them again,"They smell like you do. You must have spent real time picking these out. And here I was worried you wouldn't come. Everyone took me shopping because I was bringing the place down," she handed the flowers to someone who wove through the throng to put them in Fawn's room. Fawn toed at the floor,"So... what did you have planned?" "Actually nothing. Hey no depressing or I'll have to suck out your eyes again," that got Fawn smiling,"There. Much better. You see I figured we'd just enjoy each other's company. If we're doing that it doesn't matter where we are." Fawn had one of those 'I'm weak in the knees' expressions on her face, and Ardice taking it as a cue kissed her dainty lips. When they pulled away, the place was pretty quiet. Everyone was watching but Ardice didn't notice,"Shall we go?" "Take me anywhere." And with that they walked out amidst many a sigh. They walked and talked for a little while before, as they passed an alley, some crazy on a Motor Cycle came tearing at them before either could react. There was the sound of tearing cloth and Fawn shrieked. The back bow on Fawn's Nymph in a Fuku look had been yanked off taking her top with it. She'd be naked if it weren't for her hands. "Fawn!" Ardice called then in a smooth motion Ardice had her own blouse in her hand and was fastening the few buttons before anyone knew what was up. She looked over at the cackling biker and raised a hand. Her wings somehow extended without damaging her vest in fact they seemed to not exist as far as the vest was concerned. After muttering a few words, power formed over her extended arm and she called out,"Gust of Blades!" A Cloud of Daggers formed. The milling mass having it's constituency tossing and turning with greater and greater speed the closer to the target it got. There was a loud cry and a motorcycle crash. A Cop who was investigating a domestic dispute wandered over and arrested the badly cut up jerk. Ardice was about to turn around when she felt Fawn glomp onto her from behind. "My hero. Always rescuing me." "Yes... well do you want to go see what state your top is in?" "The police can send it home for me. It has my address on the collar. So now what?" "I think I should keep these out," she said as she 'wiggled' her wings,"The vest doesn't close up in the front." Fawn quickly disengaged and ran around to look,"Wow," Ardice closed her wings infront of her in embarassment,"Hey don't do that. I was meaning the look change. From Ritzy to Leathergirl with only the change of a blouse for smooth perfect skin." Fawn reached out and caressed a wing,"Could you let me in? I've never been wing embraced once in my life." Ardice let her in and enfolded her in arm and wing. Fawn just sighed contentedly. Ardice smiled at her closed eyed form before moving to kiss her forehead. However there was nothing there when she got there. Fawn had lowered herself in the embrace and was placing a kiss in the valley between Ardice's breasts. Blushing furiously Ardice placed her hands lightly on the back of Fawn's head. And there they stood for a few minutes. Fawn finally looked up,"Let's go to your place." "Uh Fawn this is only the first date." "Huh? I just wanna see where you live. I have nothing romantic in mind really. Honest." "Okay but no diving on me the second you see a couch or a bed or so much as a footstool." Fawn chuckled, an interesting sensation to say the least,"Or the floor I know. So can we? Home is gonna be a mad house for a while yet." Ardice squeezed her lightly before releasing her. Taking her hand in hers she stepped through a portal she'd already made since the question was asked. "You promised okay?" the words were the only thing left of them after the portal snapped closed. <1/18/01> AT THE HOUSE "No one has ever given me such trouble at this game. You've played this before right? Wait... how could you. I haven't seen anything like it yet," said Ardice clearly perplexed but pleased. Fawn punched a fist in the air,"It's just so much fun... and besides I'm good with my hands. How about we play for keeps? Every loss... clothing hits the ground. What do you say?" "Ha! I'll beat the pants off of you! You're on!" At the elevator door Margo watched the exchange with a smile,"Even if nothing happens it's good to see sis happy. Maybe now she'll believe it's not just 'in the script' for us to enjoy ourselves," she looked to where Eldrick sat oblivious,"Hmm he's not done yet. The darling must be working his tail off on his assignment. I'll try back later." AT THE ART CLASS FINAL "Time's almost up, Mr. Sterling. I'll grade whatever you have indiscriminately. You always do such good work I'm surprised you didn't skip the final. You were passing anyway... and I never give anyone the maximum score besides. 10 years down the line they will be light years ahead of where they were initially when I passed them. Be unfair to give them 100% now before they reach their peek and earn that extra point no?" And with that the teacher came around to look at the piece,"Time is up now Max Sterling. Hand it over and go home for some rest. I can hear you panting from ex..." His eyes popped open,"ertion... HEAVENLY! Where ever did you get the idea? I mean... nice piece... what is it called?" The teacher said into his delicate pale hand. "These are my friends." "Your friends in America?" Max... err Eldrick blinked,"Yeah. I mean yes sir. As for a name for the piece well... I hadn't thought to name it. But I suppose I should before I sign it right?" "What about each of them inspired you to put them in the piece. Besides being your friends. Afterall 'Friendship' doesn't seem to fit the piece," a long nail tapped thoughtfully on the Instructor's cheek,"It has to be something that says a little about each of them... and about you... since I see you are in the piece. The real you that is." Max held the painting to his face and looked... sure enough he had painted 'Eldrick' in,"That's a memorable mistake, but... how did you know?" "A Master's skill in one so young who has not taken much of a course on art to speak of ever before? I looked into your records to see if someone was drawing for you or if you had some inside angle on my expectations," Mr. Tatsuyama smiled to himself,"When pressed for details none of your teachers and colleagues could do more than shrug over the phone. It was then that I took the liberty to look around. On the internet I found an old piece of Eldrick's art and the mind behind it became clear Mr. Sterling. I knew then that my star pupil must be that Author Avatar. "What had always puzzled me was that if such power was being wielded in my class... why weren't you doing even better? Why were your works not scoring above and beyond into the realms of the divine like some of the Boys and Girls in the Avatar Wing," the Instructor was pacing by now, slowly and calmly speaking his flowing gown barely moving as he seemed to glide about the room,"Then I realized it. While the Gifted down the hall might wield their tremendous powers onto the canvas. You do not. You have somehow access to the works of ages... and yet you only seem to allow that to mold your imagination into paint. "Indeed Mister Sterling I haven't been grading your skill so much as the imagery you create with your pieces. I could grade on the skill, but skill alone leads to little. One must have experience or a vision to make skill worth anything. A revolutionary mind on the battle field can beat out a staunch tactician if they can see the battle in a way the veteran can't. Likewise the veteran sees the field in a different light due to his experience. Each will give the other a run for their money that an officer fresh out of the academy at the top of his class simply cannot. "Not of course to belittle the resource that you are using to assume this shape and this skill level." "No... offense taken." "Have you thought of a name yet?" "I must admit you blew my curve mentally. I didn't think anyone would link me and myself." "Being a student of the arts I am a very perceptive man. Some have said about my eyes that one eye sees the world and the other sees the truth. I do not agree with such flattery but I am very perceptive if I do say so, repetitiously, myself," he paused and looked at the piece again,"If you do not have a name now... you can come to my studio tomorrow and tell me there. We will have a subfinal. I wish to see how you really draw. Wear this disguise or not. I assume it's to protect those who deal with you this way from the Turmoil of your normal life." "Well..." "Do not explain. I did not mean to pry. I shall tell you my address now. I'd give it to you on paper... but I fear whatever transformation leads you to this form would destroy the parchment," and with that he visually described the way from the school to his house,"I shall not expect you before late tea. So that I might look over the piece and submit your grade. I also have a student from another class to test." "I should be able to make it... your house seems a bit oddly placed though," Max recalled all the satellite dishes in that area of town. The signal would be so weak he'd look like a ghost. It's one thing to pierce magic... especially when invited. It's another to fix signal degradation. He'd never planned to have to relay the signal or anything. "I do not like people spying into my life from outside of it. Is this a problem? I could requisition keys for here." "No... it's... okay. I'll come undisguised if I must. Or find an alternate method. I've nearly blown the poor thing up anyway. I'd better find a better way to do this. The machine can't take the strain," Eldrick stood and bowed to his teacher,"I will see you tomorrow. I'll have Astrala make something nice to bring over." "Astrala? Which one is she on the canvas?" "This one... and the one behind her." "Ah a being of magic and youth. You captured that even in her older form. I look forward to whatever you bring. You are now dismissed." Max bowed again and put his paints away. Bowing once more at the door, he smiled and left. Hideki Tatsuyama looked at the piece before him,"An Author Avatar... who doesn't seem to want to be. Truly an enigma... wouldn't you agree whoever you are?" he inquired without turning around to face whoever was hiding behind a canvas in the back of the class. "I normally don't allow visitors in my classrooms." A face popped around the canvas,"Sorry about that." "No you are not. What is your business here?" "Well Mr. Artclass of Horrors..." "What do you mean by that?" "Nevermind. Anyway... I was just watching my pray. Don't worry it's not you." "You flatter yourself because you see you do not frighten me. You see it is because you are in my classroom. Here I hold dominion," The door closed," Now what do you want with my student?" "He's not learning anything." "On the contrary he is learning." "Author Avatars don't learn. Only those who destroy them learn anything." "I see you are a very angry individual. And I fear I am starting to share some of that emotion. Could you kindly leave?" the door opened again,"And don't think to delay my pupil or you will find yourself painted into a corner. Now if you will please be on your way, Mr. Peer Kentaru. I have a painting to grade and let dry." "How the hell?" "I hold dominion in my classrooms." "Fine I'm leaving. I have other things to attend to." "That is a good idea. And also you shouldn't act so rough and tough around the frail. It makes you seem like a bully. Good day Mr. Kentaru." ON THE ROOF "Man I was hoping to capture that one. Hold them for ransom... a fight to the death. And what happens? I run into that. How is an Artist supposed to get anything done?" Peer scowled,"Not that anyone appreciates my skill." "Poor baby. Just come back to the digital. I got NJ00 to agree to a date with you. Don't waste the opportunity." "NJ...? OH! SWEET!! Yes! I knew she couldn't resist the temptation!" "Actually it was when I told her I had a hostage that she agreed." "But I was supposed to get the hostage!" Sprint spread his hands,"She fell into my lap. Then I noticed the blouse she was wearing and snagged her. Apparently she was fresh from a date with one of the Fallen. Some Elf Girl." Peer imagine how cute she probably was and floated over his perch on the flagpole,"I bet she's a vision!" "She isn't blind." "You know that's not what I meant," Peer glared. "Yes. Whatever. Just come have your date. Gala gets to deliver the message to Eldrick. She can cross the barrier itself. Probably squeezing through a keyhole. Life Mirrors Digital every time." Peer nodded,"Too true. And they think it's the other way around. Idiots." Sprint tapped his foot,"Date. You. Digital. Now." "Oh right. Do I look okay?" "What this is a shounen ai title now?" "Not that I noticed." "Then you shouldn't have asked," and Sprint just suddenly wasn't there. "I wish I could do that," and Peer leapt off to the portal. AT THE HOUSE ONCE AGAIN "That was fun. Did I just say that?" Ardice said flopping onto a couch. Margo smiled,"So when did you take up Nudism? I must say it will do wonders for your skin." Ardice waved her off,"We were playing a game..." "Strip Poker?" "Nothing so dull." "But Strip Something right?" "Yeah," Ardice sighed. Margo smiled,"So can I officially welcome you to the world of Shoujo Ai?" "We're just friends." Charhon snickered,"Earth to 'Junta'. She wanted you. Did you not see that? Ardice I think your keen edge has dulled a bit." "Pipe down you. We're just friends," She glared at them. She then looked around at everyone else who was watching the TV,"Where's Eldrick?" Haris chugged back her beverage, wiping foam off her nose,"Why horny?" "No," Ardice however blushed so she most likely wasn't believed,"I'm just curious." Charhon executed a perfect patented Aeka tease jab at Ardice,"Bi-curious I'll bet." "My dietary intake meter reads MALE. This means I kiss, hug, grope, fondle, and train MEN." Konei piped in,"Well maybe by acting enough like a guy you can show Fawn that guys aren't all bad?" Ardice shook her head,"Friends don't try to play with friends' sexual orientation." "Then show her how much better you are than a guy. Afterall you've trained so many you obviously know what is what and why is why. Right?" "I don't know how to answer that Konei. Have you been in the catnip again?" Konei looked shocked and appalled,"How could you tell?" "I can smell your breath from here. And it's falling off you like dandruff." Konei shook her head,"Wow you are so right! Look it's snowing! Whee!" some sprinkled on Joy's back. "Sorry Joy." Joy smiled,"Oh quite alright just lick it off." "Okay!" Konei smiled. Joy's toes started curling,"Ah the cheaper the thrill the better sometimes... right Hope?" Hope only looked over while chewing her popcorn. The only sign she acknowledged what her sister said was the rapidly spreading blush on her face. She turned back to the show and her popcorn. Joy grinned. Margo and Charhon continued to squeeze onto and lick grape pulp off of each other like nothing else in the universe was going on. Astrala got up to make tea as she shook her head at the hijinks of her sisters. She 'shrunk' to her child body, and proceeded to just wear her apron. She busied herself with conversation to let the water have time to boil, "So when is your next date, Ardice?" "Uh we didn't set one." "You should. You looked really nice together." "It's dogpile on Ardice day..." Hands lunged for her,"It's a figure of speech Joy." Joy looked at her firmly,"You sure?" "Positive." "Drat." Astrala spoke into the silence that only the whistle interrupted,"So... you going to call her and set one? Do you have her number?" Ardice blinked,"Uh... yeah it's on the receipts from earlier. She said she'd call though since she said waiting for me to call would give her wrinkles." "Well if she doesn't call by Christmas Eve worry that she's found a new friend to wake up with in the morning." "We aren't those kinds of friends Astrala." "You're blushing! You're thinking about it right now! 'Ardice wa shoujo ai-chan desu!'" "Now you're teasing me with butchered Japanese." Konei nodded,"'Sou ka.'" "Eld come home! Save me from my family," Ardice said tossing a pillow at the elevator door. <01/23/01 1728> Ami smiled,"You'll be okay." "I know." The Elevator door opened and Eldrick stepped out looking haggard, "Well the dimensional component of the system is now scrap. It can still do everything else though. It's odd." Ardice walked over concerned,"What about next semester?" "Well I... what is this... naked day?" And Eldrick surveyed the room. Astrala was in the kitchen, young, and in only an apron. Ami was waving and in only a towel which she seemed ready to take off once she dried from an apparent shower. Hope was in just her undies and staring at him panting softly. Joy was in an outfit that she might as well have NOT been wearing... some body stocking meets sexcraft ninja wear with the whole back exposed save for the ass itself. When she looked over to wink he saw that the front was the same way. The only part of her adequately covered was the sides. It looked like the outer wear counterpart to what Hope was wearing. He suspected however that it was crotchless. Ardice was of course naked as the day she hatched and standing right in front of him. She seemed to have forgotten she wasn't dressed. Haris was drip drying from a stint in the pool to judge by the smell of chlorine. She often went airclad after a swim -not to mention seldom swimming with a suit period- just to keep her clothes dry before donning them again. Margo was Margo, and Charhon was playing games with Margo so that explained her own attire. Although she was certainly more dressed than say Ami, she was more exposed by now as well. If she had to answer the door it would be easier by far to just strip than try to redo her outfit. Konei he could tell was totally unaware of her nakedness due to catnip overload. Irregardless of the fact that catnip SHOULD NOT WORK on her. Eldrick took in everyone and everything else present, .o0(Let's see : Noh-ohki is as dressed as Noh-ohki gets... Workbot has no clothes to speak of... Thyra was being repaired last I looked... Jean was the picture of health that I can remember... The Pixie from Hell was grumbling to herself on the stair rail... The cars were fine... Darsh is looking at Yoko hentai... The Eva was still waiting for it's launcher to finish being built... even though The crew didn't know where'd they'd call home with their home fic now gone... Washuu and Strawberry were in the dining room wrapping presents... Wait... the hell!)0o. "When did Washuu get here?" Astrala answered from the kitchen,"They got some gifts for you and the house in general and are wrapping them here to shove in the Gift Corner all the faster. Why?" "Dunno... just seems like something is amiss right now." Hope looked towards the Stairway,"It's probably our little intruder who didn't set off the alarm." Gala waved sort of,"Yeah it's probably me." Eldrick looked at her,"No you aren't it..." he blinked,"It's the Glowing schlong hanging from the ceiling! What the heck is going on with those!" He pointed. Gala face vaulted into the carpet,"Hello! Villain... in your domicile! Spreading her evil all over the place!" Astrala smiled and helped her back to the stair rail,"I'm more evil than you," she said and stuck her tongue out. "I am a QUEEN of Evil." Astrala sweatdropped,"More tea?" "Certainly." Eldrick had one of the penii down and was examining the glowing tube,"Now that's an implant. Ow." "Could you stop ignoring me you big idiot!" "You were the next mystery. So why are you here?" Gala had the spotlight,"Well first what alarm is everyone talking about?" Eldrick crinkled his brow,"It's a friend or foe system. I think. Or maybe it's just intent. I'm amazed you found your way in here. Not amazed you tripped security." "Well I'm here to deliver a message of grave importance. I'm waving the white flag right now. See?" she pulled out a little stick with a flag on it. Joy was giggling. Gala glared at her... then noticed something different in the world. She realized her panties were on the stick,"HEY! No perving the Fairy Girl!" Joy giggled an apology,"Like I believe you. Hey Tobin. Turn around. Before I smack you dumb." "Yes. Right," he said before doing so. Hope was standing right next to him,"Hi Hope." Hope looked ready to rip her clothes off. Hope's feeling were setting most everyone else off as Margo and Charhon who WERE content to just play around obviously were now deeply engaged in love making. Konei was chasing Haris around the room meow'ing and purr'ing. Joy was with Ami and Astrala talking about how long before the rest of the room degenerated. Ardice naked as she was was the only one unaffected besides maybe Ami. Washuu and Strawberry were behind a force field. "Okay I'm done. Turn around for the message." Eldrick nodded and did so,"So what's the message." "We have hostages. Do you want to rescue them? They are of course safe for now." Eldrick sighed,"Where are they? What do you want of me?" Gala smiled wickedly,"I want you to come to the Mail Server. We have exclusive access IP addresses setup that you can use to get in. Then you will play our game. I believe you are well versed in Dungeons and Dragons." "And if I refuse?" "Well would you LIKE to see Ardice over there cry? Cause her little Fawn will be sent on to Deer Heaven. Of course you'll also have to contend with mobs of screaming fans wanting blood as the VHS tape has been stolen. Maybe we know where it is. Then of course we have some random nameless hostages. A bit too much to just throw away no?" Ardice looked livid,"I'll go Eld. I know you don't want to." Gala shook a finger,"Nopers, Fallen. This will take a group to succeed. All of you must come." Joy was part of the group by the Pixie suddenly,"All of us huh?" "Yep." "Guess we'll just have to have an orgy then." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY YOU'LL ALL HAVE TO COME!" Gala blinked,"The Heck? Where all my colorful words go? Drat. Whoa... I just said Drat? WHAT IS GOING ON?" Eldrick shrugged,"I was wondering why you weren't insulting us up one side and down the other." Gala felt at her neck,"My voice changer fell off!" Eldrick looked around on the floor,"Did you have it with you when you passed through to this dimension?" "Why are you trying to help? I'm a QUEEN OF EVIL!" "Oh stop." Gala cooled right off,"Wha... what?" "I'm probably more evil than you could imagine. And I'm the good guy around here." "That makes no sense." "Tell me about it," Eldrick blinked,"Oh was that all the message? Maybe you should go look for your voice changer in a nearby dimension. I'll replace it if the security system annihilated it." "That's nice of you thanks," she blinked," I mean... uh... Don't waste my life you stake snarfer," Gala seemed pleased she'd worked up an insult on her own. "Steak?" "No... hell What Hope wants. I'm saying you blow donkeys wanker. There that's better. Wanker wanker wanker." "What Hope..." he looked down,"Oh." Hope was watching his pulse through his pants kneeling on her hands to keep from unzipping him in front of guests. From Gala's perspective she might as well be IN his zipper already. "I can't hold out much longer with her here Eld. I don't know what is reacting inside me but... it's starting to become painful. T... Tell her to leave... unless she wants to watch." Of course in the background everyone who was from Below except for Ardice was engaged in an orgy to beat all orgies. They weren't even on furniture anymore... just a perfect circle on bodies on the floor. Tongues fingers... hands groping. Ami had come to stand near Joy since intelligent conversation was all by the stairs at this point. Gala had no choice but to listen at this point. The Pixie shook her head,"Can't leave till you commit to arrive on the game map... by actually being on it." Eldrick looked around,"From your talk earlier you don't like me AA's or SI fic in general. It's going to be a rough day for you then." "What do you mean day?" "You want all of us. That's a little hard to do for at least a day. Most have prior commitments tomorrow." "Put them off." Ardice spoke as she stepped out of range of Joy's idle hands- Joy didn't even know she was starting to fondle the naked Demonette,"As much as I fear Fawn means to me. If whoever has these people hostage -and the server hostage as well- they have time to burn. Dead hostages means no push to go in after them so they are taking good care of the people. Torturing them probably means nothing as this isn't about information. It seems to just be a reason to draw Eldrick out. Lossoth shouldn't play these games. They don't work, on us or Eldrick." "Lossoth has nothing to do with this. My Lady has instructed me, Peer, Lag and Sprint to do what we are doing." "Malinara?" asked Ami. Gala shook her head,"The Other Mal. Malhificion... Malahelicon... the Muse of Bad Fanfic! Wait I probably shouldn't have told you that," she glared at Eldrick and then flew up and bopped his nose,"Stop affecting me with your Avatar ways you... Avatar!" Eldrick blinked and tried to focus,"What do you mean?" "I mean this whole wave of 'Hmm dur I dun knowd what'th going on dur. Lemming effect world to make me know.' It's EVIL! You aren't supposed to know didley for a long time yet!" "Told you I was evil." "HA! If I read your mind I'd probably find daisies and other flowers and little butterflies sipping dew off of them." "The Butterflies would be carnivorous and the daisies would be Slaver Sunflowers. You know... buds of magnified sunlight death." "I read Niven you don't have to explain it to me." "Well if you are so eager read my mind." "FINE!" and with that Gala landed on his ear and grappled on. Gala then became a shimmering field of magic and entered his ear. At this point Hope nearly ripped open Eld's pants and seemed ready to bite him off. Joy really wanting into Ardice's non-existant pants erected a glamour,"Ardice... wanna practice with Fawn? I really... need this." Ardice went wide eyed,"F... Joy... don't do that. You scared me." She shook her head,"I'm sorry but I'm just as affected as Hope is. I have to screw... and you need to practice for the day you rescue Fawn. I know if you were rescuing me we'd barely be safe from the villain before I was all over you like body paint." "I don't know." Joy blinked and smiled must like Fawn would,"Oh Ardice," she said using Fawn's voice,"You smell like flowers. And your skin is as soft as petals opening to receive the dawn's light. I want to be that light for you. Can I?" Ardice sighed,"Actually Joy I'm the one who makes the lines up... but... oh hell... I was about to go up to the pool anyway," and with that she walked up to Joy and with only a few words and gestures had Joy down on a couch with all the skill one could expect from a Prince trying to rescue a girl from her virginity. Ami smiled,"It's good to see everyone happy like this," as she slowly began masturbating on the stairs as Eldrick watched. IN ELD'S MIND Gala watched the lights swirl to their finality. Then she was in a simple enough room. There was a tv next to a bed... a king sized bed. And there was a computer right next to her along the same wall as the door she'd apparently just walked through. Near the bed was a privacy screen with some clothing tossed over it. She could hear the sound of running water and moved towards that. The carpeting felt divine against her toes. As she passed a floor to ceiling mirror the realization struck her that she was 'full sized' for the room. Also of great note was the fact she was naked as a jaybird. Blushingly she admired herself before worrying that whoever was in the shower... might come out any minute. She thought of clothing... and was dressed. However she was not dressed in the style she was used to. Behind her she noticed a portrait of a beautiful Elven Girl, young enough to incite an ,"Awww..." from even Hell's Pixie. "Arshes was adorable when she was so young don't you think?" came a man's voice behind her. "I don't get many visitors as you might well imagine. I'm curious as to who is wearing that fetching outfit before me? A Nymph come to steal my heart with her beauty perhaps?" Gala whirled and smacked him soundly,"Listen you bas," she groaned at the visual. Dark Schneider naked to the world and dripping shampoo in his hair,"... Gee of course Eld has Dark Schneider in his head. The Boy is laced with cliche." Darsh grinned,"Actually I'm not Dark Schneider at all. I'm simply the interface's persona. You are actually talking to Eldrick's Nano-colony. I became as I am during a bit of exploration of another host by parts of me. Now I'm here to stay," he smirked,"So what can I do for you, minx?" "Just passing through was going to take a look at Eld's mind. See if I can find some of the evil he mentioned is in here." "You," and he winced,"Don't want to do that." "Why not?" "It's a war zone beyond the door over there," he pointed out the door opposite the one she seemed to have entered through,"A war zone with massive casualties on each side. ... And there aren't just 2 sides." "So? I came to look and I'm going to look." "Well let me get dressed and then we'll go," he walked passed the bed and paused looking first at it then at her,"Unless you aren't in a hurry..." "There's enough sex happening outside in the world above. Not interested." "That's a shame. Right," and he dressed in one motion,"Let's be off. I will warn you that I at least will take on different forms as we move through His mind." Gala sighed,"More annoying than this one?" .o(This is going to be as fun as watching moose poop dry out)o. "Actually it will only be as fun as you expect it to be." "How did you...?" "Hear that? Simple. You're in here. Just remember that I have power here. But don't forget YOU have some power here or I might not be able to get you back out." "Yeah like that is likely." "Notice even now your personality has shifted a bit? You sounded just now like Lina Inverse. Not that that outfit is hers... perhaps you should be more like Sylphiel," and he moved a hand lightly for dramatic purposes only. "Hey there do I know you?" drifted down from her head. Gala reached up and grabbed a tiny Gourry clone. She was awash with emotions and hugged it. Darsh moved his hand again and Gala realized she was cuddling a Gourry clone and flung it at the wall,"Hey! No playing with my mind you semi incestuous TOAD! I don't have to take your bullshit so you can just shove it right back up your ass and weld it shut," she closed her eyes and turned her head,"Panty Waist." Darsh was laughing,"I thought you couldn' talk like that without your voice changer. Perhaps you're wearing one now?" She touched her neck and sure enough... there it was,"Can we stop the magic show please? This event is boring. I get the point." She took the changer off and put it into hammerspace, without thinking about it. "That's what I mean. Remember you have power here as well. There is no hammerspace in here. Or at least there wasn't before little miss fancy pants - that's you wench- made one. I'd congratulate you but I only reserve that for women who stay awake after my tender long winded ministrations." "I preferred you talking sense." "Up to you. I'm just an interface. A naughtier interface than say Windows but an interface nonetheless." She pointed to the door and just waited. He walked a few paces before offering her his arm. She rolled her eyes and walked passed him. Opening the door revealed a vast green expanse beneath a tree. Looking around from there she saw students dressed like they went to Ohtori eating lunch reading manga, playing light sports. Everything you'd expect for lunch time at Ohtori Gakuen. Fearfully she looked down and sure enough... she was dressed like a female student. A braid caught her eye. Felling around on her head she found a mass of soft braids and her hair was now a soft pale red. She smacked herself in the forehead. "Typical." Behind her the voice of the Chairman broke in,"What did you expect? Normalcy? You are lucky I changed the parameters in here or we might be in that Escher print known as the Movie's Ohtori Gakuen. You should be taking me." She looked over her shoulder uneasily,"Darsh?" He grinned,"You'll always be able to tell if it's me by my hair. It will always be white," he fluffed it for her,"You like?" "No," she regarded how he was dressed,"And I loathe that costume. Brings back bad memories." "Just trying to make sure *I* don't blend in. But then on this campus... it's hard not to blend in," he gestured around him. Gala took note of the student body again and noted besides all having different heights and the like... every uniform was unique some even outlandish. "In Eldrick's Ohtori... the main sign of Post Series Events is that the dress code has been relaxed. Oh and that,"he pointed an 'exclamation marked' sleeve at the sky. There for ll the world to see was the upside down castle. Mythical creatures frolicked in the sky's surrounding it. Many even seemed to live on it's inverted gravity plane. And there was blood and death to be seen up there even from this distance. "But you never seen blood in Utena. I call foul. This is as bad as a bad fanfic." "Those are simply rose petals. Only... roses are now only one color... and that is blood red," he grimaced,"Shaped rose petals. If you are perky... they're heart shaped. If wicked they are skulls." "That's pretty black and white." "The duelists of both camps get special ones with their colors upon them. White Embroidered edges for the Student Council. Black thorny edges for the Black Rose Society. The middles of the petals are reserved for student clubs," he looked off at a non Castle'd piece of sky,"And there are some Black clubs indeed here. The campus is like a bad meld of Utena and Ultima Online." Gala braced for impact,"What do you mean now?" "Everyone is a Duelist," and with that the lunch period ended and Rather than return to class... many students paired off and headed towards the Forest,"And the Duels are for keeps. Those who die... are reborn in the castle as creatures that are the embodiment of their soul. Some don't become creatures, but machines... cars... mecha... it's a big mess. Ready to move on yet?" And then the bell tolled. With a blood curdling scream a dragon appeared in the skies overhead. Scales of silver and gold adorned it, glimmering as they were in the light of the flames burning at it's mouth. It 'descended' towards the castle and engulfed a... wood nymph? in a conflagration. Death was amazingly quiet as rose petals fountained from where the poor nymph had been. "Can you tell me where room 101-c is? I'm new here. I just transferred in," said a voice behind them. Gala turned and then pointed off in a direction. The boy nodded and scampered off in his spiffy little shorts for the class in question. Gala glanced over at the now smiling Dark Shneider,"What's so funny?" "You're part of the game now. You helped another without an ulterior motive. The Student Council will probably be approaching us if we don't get out of here NOW," he paused and the grin faded,"Unless you wanna see what you'll comeback as... that is unless you think you can beat her," and he pointed. A fairy was descending from the castle towards them, and the sick part was was that she was dressed down the to last crease in the fabric like Gala. There was even a haunting resemblance in the eyes. If Gala was darkness... this look alike was the light. And that would be a very fair assumption... except for the fact that the look alike was garbed as a Black Rose Duelist in the Rose department. "Hey pimp what's going on with the fairy?" "Oh just that you're down here not up there. So she's coming to you." "But I'm not a duelist," and she held up her hand. And there for all to see was a white signet ring. Panicking Gala slipped it off her finger and cast it in a mighty throw at the on coming opponent,"Here! You win leave me alone!" The ring speed with unnatural speed towards and through the target. Black Petals mixed with red rained down from where the pixie had been. A lone bell tolled. All around there came the sounds of clapping. Gala whirled around and around and finally settling where she started she saw Utena Tenjou followed by Anthy Himemiya walking towards her position smiling and clapping. "Congratulations on winning your Duel." "But I didn't win anything and I'm not a D," she looked at her hand again and paled. It was back. "Well shit," was her only response. "Since you are down here... that must mean you are the victor upstairs correct?" "No... no I'm not. I'm not in the game. I'm just... visiting the glorious campus. I have a sister that I was thinking of having enroll here." Anthy smiled her brown eyes closing in merriment,"We have a modest one, Utena- sama." "No really I'm not," and then something struck her as she looked at Anthy. The eyes were brown. Anthy's eyes were NOT brown. Even Utena was a little off. Like they weren't who they were anymore than Darsh was who he was dressed as. "Darsh let's go." "Don't want to see who your next opponent is?" was all he said in reply. "No I don't!" "Too bad there he is." And Gala looked to see... Eldrick? walking towards them. Adorned in black with blue question marks on his cape he advanced with a simple sabre on Gala. He looked up and blinked,"Gala? You're alive! I thought I'd lost you forever! I can't believe it's you!" "DARSH!!!!" And with that panicked yell the world called back to the simple room Darsh lived in in Eldrick's mind. The Mock Bastard!! looked over from where he was in mid march to the shower,"Yes? I have to was the Pimp off of me. Excuse me." "What the hell was that?" "Just one of the many areas of Eldrick's mind. That is what he thinks of the rest of the world. We are here not in the next world because you don't seem exactly ready if that was so disturbing as you'd call my name not just exit Eld's mind." "How did Eld know me?" Darsh had his shirt off,"You are in the Omake. Only you're not on the side you are on now. Well that's not quite right... hmm... I don't know how to explain things." "Am I dead there or something?" "No..." "Out with it." "Sex first," he grinned," After all I am just about the best lover in all of anime. Care to drive me around the block?" "Hell no." "Well unless you want to try by yourself to go back through that door, you might as well leave. I'll be showering for days. Pimp Juice all over me. Yuck," and with that he had his pants tossed over the privacy screen and was walking to the shower. Gala was ejected at that point. BACK IN THE UPPER WORLD Gala opened her eyes. She was laying down on a bed of cotton balls hanging about 3 feet off the ground. There was a damp compress on her forehead, and she was strapped down into the bed with twist ties. She struggled lightly and a beep went off slowly from the bottom of the box of cotton balls. Joy appeared dressed as a nurse,"Hey there! I see you are awake not mumbling in your sleep and thrashing anymore," She leaned over and undid the twist ties holding Gala down,"You gave us all quite the fright. You've been asleep for days. It's Christmas Eve now." Gala nodded and stood up. She blinked and reached back after a minute,"Did someone ... pull them off?" and she fell to her knees in shock. Joy bit her lip,"Actually. You did. It's why we tied you down. You even scratched up one of your legs. What DID you see in Eldy's mind?" "Nothing traumatizing... only... when I ejected I found another me next to me. She was trying to kill me talking about how could I destroy her. And we fought. Only she kept coming back again and again refusing to die and stay that way. Constantly accusing me of killing her." "Have you killed any Fairies or Pixies?" "Only one. In Eld's mind. It was like a Twisted Ohtori campus." "All the pretty pretty boys and girls," Joy sighed. "Can you stay on the task at hand?" "No. I'm infamous," and Joy stuck out her tongue at Gala,"So you killed a pixie in Eld's mind. Hmm... maybe you brought her out with you?" Gala looked sick,"Flatliners flashbacks," and looked ready to faint,"Just what I don't need a goody 2 shoes me trying to turn me into a stain on the carpet." "If she's a goody 2 shoes why is she trying to kill you?" "Good point." Lady Ami came in the room then,"Ah-jha How's the Patient?" "She's fine now thank you,"Gala answered sticking her tongue out. "Your boss is downstairs. He/she got worried." "I'm so dead." "They don't look like they came to kill you," and Ami took the opportunity to stick her tongue out now. Joy brightened,"All the love in this room demands an orgy! Who's with me!?" Ami sweatdropped,"I think I hear Konei and Gerard going at it upstairs in the security booth." "I'll go... monitor their vital signs," and she winked and disappeared up the stairs . "I better report in. Malahelicon is going to be mad," Ami offered Gala her hand and the pixie climbed onto her palm," This is kinda degrading." "Will they grow back?" "Oh sure. Just takes a few days. They'll be done by... New Years." "That's good." <01/27/01> DURING THE DOWNTIME IN HELL [Right after the black hole comment actually - Zin Interstellar Continuity Policebeing!] "May... maybe," Then the libiod quake subsided and she leaned towards him,"Kiss me." "No you've got... ooze... all over and in your mouth. No way in hell." A Voice chimed in from the door that had been left open and forgotten,"You kiss me all the time afterwards. Who's the bitch?" Lossoth whirled, too much in afterglow to notice he'd ripped a tentacle off that she'd had still in her rump. With a snap of his fingers half elf and clothing and all the TentacleJuice she was covered in were teleported back to the brothel. "Oh just a stray I picked up and decided to give a saucer of milk." One of the prostrate Fabrics looked up then,"Did you really mean to anger Eldrick and in so angering him hope for my destruction?" Lossoth considered it,"Wouldn't have been any skin off my tentacles. Besides you moan like a donkey with a carrot up it's ass." Sheer looked aghast and spoke next,"Has it all been a lie then?" "Well I wasn't lying when I said you all fuck like amateurs and sexually feel about as much fun as sodomizing a pillow. A pillow made of barbed wire that is." "Do we sicken you so?" "Put it this way Guernsey." "Thread." "Whatever... if you girls were a sickness it would be a neuropoison and I'd be dead already. Get out of my sight." The Fabrics fled the room in differing levels of dignity. Malinara smiled,"About time you got those freeloaders out of here." "And you aren't?" "Nope. I know how to fuck well. Don't I?" "Shit yeah... speaking of which care for some naughty nookie? This tentacle right here has adapted to anal pleasures like I knew and kinda worried it might." "What tentacle?" Lossoth blinked and looked around. He put them all out and counted... he only had 3 tentacles,"I must have ripped one off in her! I'll show her!" "Wait." "Why?" "This time... find one better suited to anal. I'll help you pick one out. I know just the right species. Just let that boring thing go. I think with the species I'm thinking of you could have 2 more without any loss of control. Then we can do that braided alimentary excursion. That looked... naughty." "Sex now? Or After the appendage farming?" "Now and after," and with that she knelt before him and began licking the now decidedly smaller trio of tentacles,"You know... I know some spellcasters... and some mentalists. Perhaps we could work on that spell for you. Tweak it. Make them easier to control. Maybe even give them the ability to store activities so you can concentrate on the... pleasure," she massaged his thighs and watched the throb in the members,"Maybe I could get one or 2 then... and put on a show for you." Lossoth was all sub brain and nodding like a fool. She was such an expert he could always count on enjoying himself. She on the other hand was thinking something more like .o(Soon even Lossoth won't be enough for my plans. Maybe Peer or... Sprint will make better slaves than this one. If they succeed.)o. LATER Malinara combed her hair. It was rather nasty what she was styling it with... but it was about the only thing that gave the right shine. She nodded to Lossoth and they teleported to a place they could harvest the right parts. It of course didn't matter to either of them that the inhabitants would want to keep their parts. Or that one usually had to try out several to see what would be the best one. But of course neither cared about the body counts. ELSEWHERE "Nulise," Kanaetalina sang,"I have Demon Spooge you can lick off of me," and she threw open the vault like door to Nulise's room,"Are you moping in the darkness again?" A yawn came from by the register yards behind her,"Oh excuse my yawn." She bounced over, her shiny coating sticking in place after she slipped on a bracelet from a barrel. It's mundane use was to prevent contact poisons from slaking off or absorbing. It's naughty use was to... ah... maintain freshness for those who... uh... liked sampling the nectar of the pant-unia. Can't always have the right spells cast... and stuff. "What's up boss?" "Me and only barely." "Where's Nulise?" "I don't know. I lost communication. I'm staying up waiting for Investigations to arrive." "She should be back already. Shoot!" she kicked at the air,"and I'm still horny too!" she pouted. "Well just put that in a baggie for later or go find someone to lick it off of you." "Yeah I'll do that! Most normal human girls at least can't resist this sort of stuff!" He pointed a device,"That stuff doesn't possess those qualities." "Rats." "... it's whipping cream." She shook her head,"It's Lossoth's ManGoo." "It's whipped cream. Look at the meter," he locked the reading and handed it over. She read the screen crestfallen,"I leave hell and it turns into whipped cream?" she took a taste,"But it doesn't taste like whipped cream." "An illusion. Lossoth is 90 ways impotent. It's what the tentacle spell does." "Cool you know the spell? Could you give me another tail?" "You have 2 already," he blinked,"What the..." She reached behind her. The tentacle she'd accidentally swiped... had become a second identical tail. Only it had a ... nozzle ... and she could tell the fur was retractable. She squealed with delight and vanished upstairs. The owner of the store just chuckled. "I guess she's going to make sure she falls to the powers of her sexcraft now. Nice of Lossoth to give her that gift. Christmas is one pervasive holiday. That or..." he mused," She must have revolutionized his pants." ON THE FIRST FLOOR (of the House) -and back to now- "Gala!" "Malahelicon!" said the pixie before leaping through the air and launching into a thorough ear huggle of her boss,"You're here to rescue me from the fic right?" "Why would I do that?" "But... they're always... screwing around here." Malahelicon in her male guise of Malhificion smiled,"That was due to your Hell's Pixie Dust. Only sex I've seen the whole time I was here was Konei and Gerard. There's other wacky hijinks of course... but that's all the raw sex I've seen. They can restrain themselves." Gala turned and bowed,"Oh sorry Eld for the generalization." Eldrick smiled,"Actually Mal... we found out that when we turn on Voyager you tune out the world. We're not that retrained around here." Mal nodded,"True but your fic isn't as bad as Gaseous Frankfurter's... it's so beautifully Contrived, no plot to speak of... and sex is always only a paragraph away. You need more Contrivance in this fic." "I'd... rather not." "Think of the delicious wackiness!" "I am actually." "Oh. Well I'll just have to do something wacky myself then," Mal wiggled... his... eyebrows and a box appeared GLUED to the ceiling,"I call it ... well I dunno. But it's really wacky. It will increase the wackiness around here 100 fold!" Eldrick simply groaned,"What do I have to do to get you to remove that?" "Do something wacky." "But if I just 'do something wacky' it's not spontaneous." "Then the box will kick in... and you may not want that." Astrala tapped Mal on the shoulder,"Is there any kind of warning?" Mal went super deformed and whirled like a ballerina,"A bell... a bell that would make a Tinker Gnome proud!" The bell went off. Nothing seemed to happen. Mal face planted. "Something is supposed to happen! Something has to happen! That's the whole point! Great... it's so contrived it's broken." Gala piped up,"Um... it did something. I think I can make Hell's Pixie Dust at will now." Joy was suddenly very close to Gala. In fact she was Gala's Height and massaging her shoulders with an expert's hands. The expert of course appeared out of nowhere and demanded his hands back. Joy flashed him Gala's boobs and he decided to stay to help Gala work out the kinks in her shoulders. Joy then spoke,"So... Gala... honey, sweety, darling, light of my loins... could you make me some? I know the perfect use! I'll spike some mistletoe in a park. People will hump like bunnies all over the place! It's perfect!" Gala smirked, but couldn't maintain it since tension centers on her back were opening up like locks before a skeleton key,"I don't think so." "Why not? Everyone needs a little love!" and she laughed. Gala watched Joy's chest heave and sway,"What IS your cup size?" "Right now? or naturally?" "Naturally then unnaturally." "Um... whatever Hope's is... and right now... HH. Want me bigger or smaller?" Gala looked at Hope sitting on a couch reading, then back at Joy,"That's 2 sets of twins in one fic! That's ludicrous." Mal chided Gala,"That's the whole point. There are also other fairy characters... and Jo Insei is in the ballpark of Joy's libido -not her perversion though. 2 pairs of magical girls. The demonettes aren't the only evil characters siding with the hero... and everyone is horny except Ego and Noh- okhi... although I wouldn't be surprised if they were up to something," 'He' looked over at Noh-ohki,"Maybe not... someone needs to wind the fuzzball up. He turned off." Eldrick smirked as he did so,"As for Ego he mentioned an Ice Cream Convention." Mal nodded,"Probably won't see him again for a while." Noh-ohki stretched and then shuddered as the 'box' rang. The wind up key on Noh- ohki's back then chimed in,"This mascot is in need of a bios update on the next business day. We at Henshin Dynamics hope it has been serving you well, and urge you to try out any of our line of products this holiday season. We're having a sale. Come on in and buy something if you missed someone on your Xmas list!" Noh- ohki swatted at the key before it repeated itself. Mal smiled,"Oh it's definitely working!" Eld looked ready to kill. Astrala snuck to Ami and pointed. Ami nodded inconspicuously. She was already thinking of how to diffuse things,"Um... Malahelicon..." "Call me Malhificion right now. I'm quite male. Or at least the illusion is." "Um..." Malahelicon studied a massive book in front of her... err him,"Everyone calls me Mal in the fic so far," the book vanished. Eldrick blinked,"Was that the fic?" "Yep." "It's HUGE!" "Naw... I like large type." "But still." "It's good and big." The box bonged and Hope blurted out,"Hai Eld's good and big." Haris burst out laughing and Hope turned red. Mal smiled,"Gotta love that box." Ami stepped in front of Eld and addressed Mal,"About that box. Is there some wacky quest we have to do to get rid of it?" Mal considered,"Sure... but it's safer to leave the box up there... then to undertake it." BONG... and with that Joy began chasing Gala around Mal's head trying to catch and grope her. Joy was yelling something like,"Pixie's need love too!" And Gala was replying with something along the lines of,"No we don't!" Mal ALMOST seemed to twitch,"Okay... you have to stop Peer by New Years Day. That's all. It wouldn't hurt to solve some other PLOT POINTS though too." "What Plot Points... and why can I swear you said that in all caps?" Mal was officially hanging from the ceiling gasping for his life. Washuu just waved at him. "Where the heck did you come from?" "I'm in the fic too. I am Washuu the greatest scientific genius in the universe! Would you be Malahelicon?" Mal leapt back to the ground with style and grace, and a shift back to HER real form. A Black haired woman with both bat and angel wings -a set of each- and let us not forget that patented expression of hers. Yes Mal was finally making it easier on the author. <02/09/01> [Yay *finger twirl*- Not impressed much Zin] "Since everyone keeps misnaming me... for now I will appear as I truly am." Mal paused,"Washuu put the equipment away!" "Someone isn't enjoying the fic anymore," Washuu observed. "It's just that Voyager is on and your all making me miss it. I loved this particular rerun." Eldrick has a devious look,"Say... we'll all let you watch Voyager... if you take the box off the ceiling. I have to stop Peer anyway." Malahelicon thought it over for a minute,"Sorry not interested." Eldrick looked over Mal's shoulder,"Yeah! ECH! Go Doctor go!" Malahelicon was visibly quivering,"You win," The box vanished after one final bong that didn't seem to do anything. Astrala busied herself in the kitchen while Workbot saw to Malahelicon's creature comforts once again. Everyone not involved in the Voyager Reruns adjourned just up stairs. Arcade machines whirled to life, the nice big happy -half dead- machine that allowed Eld to become Max Sterling remained quiet. From the smell in the room it would turn on no more. Joy looked pensive,"I still say I'm sorry. I should have not linked up with that _Tentacle Hunter Rondo_ anime. I didn't know the machine was almost dead." Eldrick smiled and lifted her chin,"You only saved me the trouble of just trying to use it one or 2 more times and messing things up in my alternate life. Now I can replace the motherboard in earnest without procrastinating. The next board will be even stronger. Multiple Access nodes. Multiple carriers per node." Joy blinked, and looked at Hope while Eldrick continued babbling,"What's he saying? You'll be able to have sex with it?" Hope shook her head,"No. He is stating that it will be multiplayer with each player able to have multiple personas." "Why didn't he just say that?" "So he could goose you for not listening?" "Huh?" And Joy was goosed. "Ah... I see," she pouted when Eld took his hand away. Eldrick smirked and finished,"It's a good thing the board fried because we'll need the new board to go in and stop Peer. If we go in physically we'll be at an even bigger disadvantage. This way we can just disconnect. AND he won't know who we are." Joy raised her hand but Ami pulled it back down. Ami smiled,"So Eld... what about sex in the machine?" Eldrick blushed,"Well uh... um..." Washuu answered,"Yep. I had to handle everything Eld felt was beyond him. So I added a few things. A little here... a little there... full suite of monitoring and data analysis options. The chairs aren't ready yet save the 2 currently. So draw straws to see who besides Eld gets to create their characters first," she looked at Eldrick,"Oh Eldy-poo... go ahead and login. I uploaded some characters I found in the recent stack with your name on them." "I wanna watch the lots." "No. Get in. Strawberry's working on the other chairs as we speak. She could even be done. So find the town and have some Sake or something. It's got everything! I'm a genius!" Eldrick sat down and strapped in all just to not hear Washuu's laughing. And his world view shifted. He had no idea what he would find on the other side. To be Continued. =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= "Cast" Addendums Dungeon Magazine is a monthly magazine with Maps and Adventures for D&D 3rd Edition. The issue in question is the December -?- one featuring "Drow Declare War on Humanity." Which isn't exactly what's going on... certainly not with how I played with the plot when running my friend through it. Also within the course of referencing it for The Arc it will have functional changes. -1/15/01 OnsenMark is currently writing his acceptance speech for having the "Princely Kiss? Or Eyeball Chew Prelude?" idea. When he has written it, I shall include it here. -1/15/01 =0==0==0==0==0=