=0==0==0==0==0= Yes that's the title. =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= Because I have nothing better to do Productions An Eldrick Tobin project From "It makes sense in my head" Theater A story of The Arc Magical Moments in Mania Moment Four The Moment the Cheese Falls Short of the Moon "So how does this work?" "You said the words," Fawn spun and waggled a finger at Ardice. The demonete may have confessed her feelings... but she still wasn't exactly sure what was up. They shared a bed, and they'd held hands. .o(We haven't done all that just yet.)o. Ardice noted to herself. "AH! You're thinking naughty things. Ah you're blushing redder they're about me!" Fawn nuzzled against Ardice's arm,"You don't have to share. They're your thoughts. Though I wonder if they're juicy." Ardice paused and looker at her. "You're THOUGHTS." "Oh right." "We'll check elsewhere later." "Oh alas my love is such a deviant," sure she'd said it to get used to the word, but it was kinda just for joke factor. "Says the pirate to her cabinboy." "Point." Fawn sighed,"As for 'how this works.' We're in love. It works however we make it work. We have the lovey dovey down. ELSEWHERE "Miss... Miss... the check... Miss." "Oh right. Thought I heard my name." "No one's said," the waiter reads the card," 'Miss Dove' that I've heard." "Yeah I'm just flakey." "Uh... yes Miss." BACK WE GO "I don't know if you have to worry about wearing a strap-on Fawn." "Whatever it takes when the time is right for you. I am both patient and resourceful," she did a pose and flexed her muscles. "And I love you for being patient with me." "I could hear you say 'I Love you' all day. And I love you too." Ardice waved at her giggling and "Aww that's so sweet" sisters while trying to make the lightning of the doom cloud hit them. "Now if you mean tying men you your wall spanking them or whatever... I really kinda think you should stop that. Though it is cute I imagine. 'Say it!' 'You are my Queen!' 'Again' 'Great Queen' 'Don't kiss up' 'Please hurt me my Queen.' 'Don't enjoy it.' 'My Queen' 'In the Key of B Flat' 'o/~ My Queen o/~'" "It's not like that," she coughed as the lightning hit her. Fawn glared at the cloud and it found somewhere else to be. "I did that mostly to get a guy to the point where I wanted to date them... only to end up with someone I really didn't want. Say Guy F has traits A-E. A and C are fine. B is tolerable... D is right out and you could do without E." "Okay," she motioned for Ardice to sit on the couch as they walked from the stairs into the living room. She then crawled into her lap. "Now you manage to punish and reward out say one bad trait... like D. If you're careful a new trait G doesn't rear up, and trait F -his sense of self- doesn't go anywhere either. So both emboldened you try to take out trait E. And Zap it's gone. Nothing else happens save a small trait G -like Reverence- shows up. So far so good." "And you stop there right?" "Well typically I try. Then one of 2-3 things happens. Well 2-4 just to be safe incase I remember one. 1) It Ends happy there, and I feel bad but sort of good because the next girl he lands (well once there was one who landed a guy next... the guy was like my doppleganger. Very bizzare.) gets a swell guy - well my opinion anyway. 2) Trait B that I thought I could tolerate... I can't. It's slowly gotten on my nerves. This leads to me just living with it. If he was PERFECT he would have never gotten onto my wall. 3) Just like 2 but I can't deal with it and I put him BACK on the wall. And sure I get trait B off... but I DAMAGE trait F and whatever trait G was becomes a big problem. And you think it's hard getting a trait OFF... try putting it back. It's veritable brainwashing. "The rest are all varients of 2 and 3. Save 4) Which is I totally 'shatter' everything but what I liked... leaving this lovable SHELL man. Shell men are more like pets than people... and no one should be like that." "What do you do with Shells?" "Well if I was lucky someone wanted a guy like that nearby and I handed him over - recall this was when I was still working for Slobboth and was surrounded by beings who wanted to make slaves of humanity for one reason or another. If I was only sort of lucky they were servicable as people and like Amnesiacs could adapt to the new state and maybe learn some new traits to make them more like people again. Seldom did I just break ties entirely. The chance of 'remission' was just too low and sometimes a shell is so broken they just aren't going to be people again. Typically I fixed the situation." "You... 'fixed [it]'?" Fawn gulped. "Yeah I used magicks to revert them to before I had met them. Sure the good goes with the bad... and often for a month or two they'd be down without knowing why - brains just work that way. BUT... they're alive." "Yeah thought you might have Zapped them." "Naw this was pleasure not business. When your work day is death... offtime has got to be something else or you yourself become a shell." "Does it work that way with sex? I've seen some girls given their walking papers. Think that's why?" "Might well be. So I hope we all learned something," she sighed and looked at her audience... who was not just Fawn. Prospect had her hand up. "Yes?" "Teacher!" she started very very very energetically,"Why haven't you put Eldrick." Fawn smirked,"Or Fawn." "YES! Or Fawn on your wall?" Rapture was dressed as a Front Desk News Anchor -suddenly and due to Prospect of course- and thus with a sigh held out the Microphone in her hand,"Why dress me as a Desk Anchor and then give me a Field mike?" Prospect Pointed at Joy,"Fanservice." Joy was somehow attentive to both Rapture and Ardice as Ardice finally spoke,"Well at first I thought... it was just because I didn't know him. Then I thought it was solely because I liked him already. Then... SCENE DISSOLVE HENSHIN YO! Scene Dissolve: Gime me a second! FINE "... then I realized he was on a wall. He'd put himself on one. And he was the taskmaster as well." "And Fawn Sensei?" She looked at Fawn who just batted her eyes innocently,"She's too ticklish." Joy leapt over and tickled Fawn. Sure enough Fawn was in hysterics. Joy then looked over at Rapture who'd dropped the mike and was leaning over for it,"Hey Rapture are you ticklish?" Rapture looked up and over at Joy,"I'm surprised you were looking at my face." "Why?" Rapture took off the heels she didn't want to wear anyway and twirled. "Nice Dress," Joy smiled. "So you missed being able to practicalyl see my navel from either the top or the bottom of this THING Prospect put me in?" Joy looked dumbstruck,"Missed opportunity," she blinked a few times and her tickle ready arms fell,"Denied," she refocused on Rapture and not the ceiling,"So... you'll show me again, neh neh?" "No." Prospect patted Joy on the back,"Don't worry you can bribe video and still from me. How are you at making toast?" Joy clasped Prospect's hand and shojo lights went on,"I'll learn." "Sweet Nummy Toast," Prospect sighed and let out some bread colored hearts,"Alrighty then. Start learning." "Alright!" Joy carefully made a show of changing into only an Apron. "Which way is the kitchen anyway?" Astrala sighed,"It's over here! You know the place you find Chocolate syrup?" "Oh right right. I always lead myself by nose," she smiled a cute smile before walking up to Astrala. Scene Dissolve: I'm ready. NOT NOW Scene Dissolve: Jerk. "Sensei tasukete, onegaigozaimasu!" "Eh... too formal... wrong image... bad grammar." Joy looked ready to cry. "But yes I'mm help you. Don't call me teacher, though." "Call you Little Astrala?" Astrala face vaulted. Scene Dissolve: Dissolving whether you like it or not! AH PERFECT TIMING! Scene Dissolve: Jerk. As the scene dissolved to another Joy remarked,"Oh those are so cute! I want a pair just like them!" "Don't look up your instructor's Apron!" "Hai Sensei!" ELSEWHERE-ISH-LIKE-ESQUE-SORTA Gala floated calmly in her swimsuit. She wasn't however in a traditional location like the pool... or even at some wild hotspring resort! ELSEWHERE "Miss Dove... sign here please. Miss Dove?" "Yes?" "Your card. And Please Sign here." "Oh right." The lady accross from her looked on concerned,"You alright?" "Oh I'm fine, thanks." "I worry about you sometimes." "That's sweet of you," she handed the bill signed with her name and a little heart to the waiter as the 2 girls got up to go. The other held Miss Dove's hand,"Maybe once we're in the street?" "Let them think what they want." BACK WE GO. It was quiet and peaceful. Of course the scene was far from normal. Not everyone gets to float on a lake of LCL. Fewer still have wings who can do it. An arm thrust out of the lake from out of nowhere and that person was pulled out after they grabbed the rung of the pull chain system for saving the newly Separated before they rejoined Instrumentality. It was like watching people dream. There are times when they touch Conscious Dreaming and then slip back into standard subconscious driven REM sleep. For Instrumentality it was harder. It's like a dream you don't need to wake from OR take control of. It's perfect. Thus, this NERV in it's little pocket reality that had come to be connected to Eldrick's Home Dimension, had been trying radical things. Children's toys in the LCL had netted some survivors... Lilith swimming seemed to scare people out of the Collective... and now Gala -who wanted somewhere to learn to swim without also learning how to drown- was helping because how often do you see fairies and pixies? She'd color that sad... if Cubey wasn't a discrete pair of headphones blasting some Rammstein for her. Of course the House didn't know to look for her here. Indeed her time was her own anyway. She seemed to kind of upsettedly look around from time to time though. "What a surprise still not gawking about for me. Idiot. Hell Blasted Idiot." "Who is?" Gala looked over,"Rei...?" she couldn't tell with the Rammstein if even Gendo was fairy gazing... however she hadn't heard a boat and she was in about the middle. However the face was male... if Bishounen,"Oh. It's you Qtip." He was pulling the walk on LCL routine again,"And how are you today? Are the Fish biting as Lieutenant Ibuki calls it?" "A few... It's tapering off now. Netted 17 earlier. Or was it only 13. Oh well 17 will sound more impressive I suppose." "To Lady Mal?" "You know that how, Qtip?" "I know many things Miss Gala. I know you were working the security booth when Toshu was fibbing. I know you've been avoiding him. And I know why." "Bah you know too much. So why are you bothering me? Status report?" "Oh you're on camera and microphone... well not NOW... but they know what you are doing. They need not a report from me." "So what then, Qtip." "Please call me Kaworu." "Knowing what I know I'll call you Qtip." "Touché, Gala Shimmerflight born of a ... Snow Capped Pine was it?" "Got the snow capped right." "And the tree?" "Well it wasn't mistletoe." "Yes you'd rather bear a child from it would you not." "Do. Not. Push. Me." "Very well. I only knew it was close to your heart. You have my sincerest apologies." "Apologize by saying why you're here." "I'm here for you." "Eh?" "Well specifically," he clutched at his chest,"That's like a hot Prog Knife. I'd better let him in." And Eldrick stumbled swinging a sword into Terminal Dogma,"Oh... not an Angel." "I didn't know you would detect that." "Well... there was... and then I looked at security... then I tapped into everything I could... and then I saw on a NERV readout a Blue pattern they hadn't seen." "I, myself only appear on one screen. But the camera that can see it has a deceptive view of it and makes it more than it is. It is also where Hyuga secrets away his manga so the name plate is typically shrouded." "Ah... well just glad it wasn't an Angel somehow." "There are safer Places for an Angel to be. Gala is out here and perfectly safe. Sorry to worry you about her. Although... "Although, Kaworu?" K-kun smiled,"She is rather bored with Fishing." "Fi..." he looked at the 'water' he was floating over,"OH! Of course." "Tell me though did you walk the halls properly?" "Came along the causeway." "Ah the link between worlds." "It's just water suspended with High Physics and probably ducttape and bailing wire. Not like you'dforever lose your way and starve in the void between or something. It doesn't even get dark," Eldrick sweatdropped. "Drama is my forte. It livens things up, and speaks to the soul." "Any others?" Talking kept him from wanting to dip a finger in and see what it was like to touch LCL. "Love." "Shinji?" "Everyone. You could say it's my job." "Job?" Gala butt in,"Lemme help Qtip cut to the chase he's enjoying before you end up in bed together, bathing together and other Shounen Ai stuff. He's an Incarnation. He's Love." "And you look like Nagisa why?" Kaworu smiled,"I already bore a striking resembalance. I only had to change the color of my hair, and remove a few years of aging. I suspect they all suspect here... but I suppose it's also reassuring to many considering Shinji's report of my words. And it good to see someone stop being a pawn of others and defy them... especially when they are enemies is it not?" "There's that." "And thus... tada," he touched a toe to the LCL and spun with a final bow,"However nice it is to talk to you I must be going now. Happy fishing," and he drifted to the pier and headed out. "So ready to rip apart an Angel with a sword and a prayer? And why fire?" Eld looked at the sword in his hand. It was GrimWick the dark twin of his air sword WindFang,"Fancy that." "Ah and here I thought you were getting Biblical on their Heinies." He was turning the sword over and over like he'd never seen it before,"It looks diffe... Huh? Oh funny funny," he scratched his head looking at the sword again. She shifted her float to see him better,"What? Isn't it like Crystalis and you have a sword for every element and choose the one you want?" "No... I made WindFang... and with traditions for katana I made a second to be the repository of all the negative energy - GrimWick here. I had sealed away GrimWick. I suppose since it got broken out by Agent Orange the seals are weaker," he shook his head and put it away,"Huh... WindFang isn't there. Disturbing but I'll research later." "Time for idle banter with the fairy that's floating?" "Well I was worried about you." "Thank you." He was shocked anew,"Not an insult?" "It's reassuring. Now before things get mushy. Carry me to the little Fairies room please. If I move... well things'll get weird. And watch your fingers." He saw why. she was trying to be as traditional as a storybook. the particular books she must have been looking at involved naked fairies. "I'm flattered, I think, but pick me up now." He scooped her out of the LCL. The World went black for him. "Argh Angsty stars shouldn't touch the Angsty Plotdevices. Cubey megaphone." Her headphones slipped out of her hair and formed a megaphone like contraption. She took a big breath,"HEY ELDRICK!" His motionless body lay floating above the LCL sea. Not a speck was touching him save where his fingers broke the surface tension. It was an odd image as his hand was bent funny as he'd fallen not over her but beside her. His palm perpendicular to his forearm looked nastier than the pose was. She aimed the megaphone up at the watching camera,"A little help here!" "Understood Miss," and a technitian scooped him out with a recovery boom. In one of the first times in a while the boom actually made it to shore. Not that he was a recovery victim but... Cubey carried Gala over to where Eld lay moaning and clutching his head. "You okay?" "I feel like I boated a Marlin with my head." "I'm sorry to ask since you're out of it but." He stood and nodded cupping his hands for her to be deposited while cubey landed on his head. Sighing Eldrick tried to recall the sign for the doors for female facilities in NERV. And stepped forward. He stood now before a ladies room door. .o0(Bingo. )0o. "Can you make it with Cubey?" "Not after having to move to get on Cubey to see about you. Besides you've seen it all and tested out the equipment. Go in. Sheesh. Perv that doesn't wanna potentially see girls squatting. Are they just for show? Filled with whipped cream." "Fine lady peer pressure." "Thanks I'd rather not mess up your hands." And open the door went. "Excuse us. She needed assistance. Warning Male Presense in the Lavatory. Danger," he then started beeping like a truck backing up as he placed her in a stall and slid the door closed. He checked out his forehead. the blue headband was now red,"Bet I've got a matching armor Motif," he glanced around but all the other stall doors were open. He shifted to his armor. Flame was the color of the moment. He imagined if he LIKED fire more this would be an impressive look. "Heh... bet Asuka would approve of the color scheme." "Yes. She would." Slowly turning his head,"Uh... Rei? I'm sorry for all the chatter and the invasion of the ladies room here. I'll close my eyes." "Why?" She stepped out holding her clothes. "You're naked." "You're observant. I am relieving Gala. This facility is only 1 minute away from the pool. I'm surprised you found it." "You're private bathroom huh? I'm extra sorry for defiling it. Gala really had to go... and I just concentrated and portalled. It shouldn't happen again." "We are alive. It's the least in return that can be given." "Less hormones out there. You're turning the room red, Eld," Gala said in the first bit of silence. "Well the armor IS glowing." "You're too excited in the presense of Nekkid Rei. And put the armor away anyway." And the armor was gone. "Rei. Is he naked?" "Only the armor vanished." "Oh good I can leave the stall then," and using Cubey as a crowbar she forced the door open and back,"Magic needs to work better here." "It's all the technology." "You're probably right," she looked at Sky eyes Eld,"Rei can he look? He's a fan." "I don't understand emotions very well. If he's a fan why isn't he looking. Is not fanservice a staple of many anime that one can watch or star in?" "Oh he's weird trust me. He'll probably break his neck trying to not look at your butt as you leave. Note the facial light show." "I shall tell Hope you were a real gentleman then," and she walked out. Eld didn't move till he heard the door whisper shut. At which point he checked all the stalls for occupants. "Looking for discarded panties? A bra that had nuzzled her tender bosom?" "No." "The Chamber of Secrets?" "Very funny. Just making sure the place is empty." A voice called out from the as yet untouched far stall,"No one here but us Kaworu's." Eld shook his head and walked down there. "Why are you in here. The Men's room is accross the hall." "You have a good memory. That's is a nice fact to know. As for why the reason should be obvious. I ogle Ayanami from here." "From way down here?" "Turn around and look at the warp to the mirror," he waited till Eld turned around. Love walked up behind him and pointed under Eld's armpit. Arms around Eld he steered Eld until eld noticed that this curve of mirror lined up with another and gave a perfect view of the stall Rei was in. "See? It's the perfect vantage point." "But a little distorted right?" "'Objects in Mirror are closer than they appear'," Nagisa's hand strayed,"Ayanami got you very excited didn't she? Going anywhere for a while?" "He's talking with me, Qtip." "Ah... is that so. Well I shall let you go for now then. Until next time," and he was simply gone. "Gee next you'll be flirting with Dharm." Eld glared at her,"Not funny. I'm not out to have sex with everything with a pulse." "Tentacle Necrophilia then?" "Blorf." "Was that a yes?" "That was nausea." "And if you meant a vampire who wanted some tentacle? Ha! I see you're resolve weakening. I've got your number," She rode Cubey to the counter. "Why are you riding?" "No wings." "You had them in the LCL." "You actually noticed?" She went ahead and dehenshined... unhiding them. "Yeah so why hide them? Wings are beautiful things. Yours are cute too." "Was that a line?" She game him a sidelong glance. He blinked,"No but I could feed you one." "I don't like tapeworms," she pointed at his pants. He groaned,"That's not what I meant. I keep that away in your presense. When I can." "Oh so I'm hideous?" "You're adorable." "So I'm a doll? Just a cute thing to be ignored?" "You're too real to be a doll." "Oh so I'm a RealKiseake then? To be dressed up screwed and tossed in the corner to wash later?" He was about to retort,"Could you like me more if I willingly gave you a child?" "I don't dig child sacrifice." "I mean reproduction with the aim of progeny." "Well that's fleeting." "I don't mean a home without love." "I don't mean that. Done ANY research? About *MY* people?" "Educate me. You should highly knowledgable and I request your guidance." "Wow I should sit on a napkin if you're going to lather me in butter like this." "I want to know." She paused and sighed, "Remind me to KICK Toshu later." "Done." "Alright. When my people decide to procreate, it's almost as bad as some fish or insects. One deposits the egg... and another services it. And the child matures raised by the spirit of the tree. By fall a full grown Fairy says hi to it's parents for the first actual time. So... you see. Fleeting." "Are there alternatives?" "Well..." "You're blushing. So some big carnal dance thing?" "That's one. That's how Royalty comes to be. Another is ... human sex with the egg left on the leaf." "Any others?" "Well there's hatching an egg early and raising it, and..." "And? Out with it." "Bah like you care." "Then tell me why you are hiding your wings." She was silent. "Time for me to guess. You're worried you'll have another nightmare again." "Bzzt." "Darsh thinks they're sexy and it creeps you out and repulses you. "He's less repulsive than you." "And my real answer... you think I'll toss you out on your butt." "Bz... Well Kanrinin the Resort's pretty full." "Bah no such thing." "Ah yes right all the more girls to fuck." "You see a dark cloud... not a nimbus full of rain for the starving fields don't you?" "Like you don't." "Well I'm imagining having to hunt down a little glowing giggling light... only to find he or she has been hiding in my beard. I'm imagining Tweezering diapers. And NOW I'm forseeing 'Hey... you're my mother right? So tell me mom... who's the Giant and is he single?' 'That's your father.' 'Well darn. You sure?'" "Well maybe if we laid on mistletoe." "So it's a magic thing not a genetic thing?" "Usually magic." "Ah-ha. So... when is it NOT magic." "Fine. It's not magic when it's very very close to what humans do. Another time that involves less magic is to get a Dryad or Leaf Sprite -A Dryad my height- to bear the child. I'm sure your brain is a buzz with Fairy 3 way sex now. Let's see. There's a varient ceremony to the Royal Dance that can do fairly miraculous things. And I shouldn't have mentioned that one. The chance of infant mortality is like 75%." "Ouch." "Ruler's Dance. But then when you want a Benign ruler who knows the rules and when to use what for the best of the race... you take those risks." "Point." "The worst part though is if you fail... no eggs left." "And you succeed?" "Almost like people and insects at the same time. Thousands of eggs. Because the spell has also chosen the lucky Girl as Queen." "How many eggs are you born with?" "2 or 3. It's rare to find a 4. Often we rookery so you can't even say you are or aren't a noble child just to mediate potential future status crap. I left. It's a beautiful society, and well structured." "In line for the throne?" "The opposite. And I want a big family so it was just painful to remain home. Then I got in with Guuzen and Mal, and I stopped caring. Got my style established flaunted it, and laughed at the misfortunate in my path." "But you still want a family." "Only those decreed untouchable by natural selection don't Otaku-boy." "I'm written here to have wild naughty boinkage. The Authors decreed. Don't know if Nature was informed." "Could you stop caring if you're an Avatar or a Naughty-Icon or what not? It reminds me of work. I like to think of it as a living or a career. Not a Job or Work. Reminded me of this Fighting Game fan I had as my first client. Got taken out -and thus a few ladder pegs- by someone with a godlike version of the Soil. Summoning Guns. Nasty fun those. Anyway I had to watch him and he was ALWAYS whining about how his Avatarishness should have done this or done that. Point of Fact the bullet could have been blocked... hell for this one ANNIHILATED and it would have summoned at location found the first target and dealt with the target. Who was or wasn't godmoding was beside the point. Asses are made to be kicked. Else they'd be extradimensional. When I lose a vocal duel I lose. Oh well. I... what?" Eld had knelt down to counter level and was staring at her face as she finally opened her eyes,"I'm sorry to make you rant. I know just the place you'll be more comfy." "Without a rite I'm not touching it." "And *I* am the deve?" "What you stood up?! I'm GROIN LEVEL here. I've got a torpedo AIMED AT ME. Well potentially aimed at me." "Don't LOOK for it!" "I wasn't trying to!" At the door,"You're right sempai. All the time. And she's a percentage of his height." Gala grabbed Cubey and cubey became a bow and arrow... Gala released... and a ticker tape that said ":P" on it unfurled. "Well what am I supposed to think?" said Maya unducking from behind her clipboard as Ritsuko fiddled with Eld's headband without asking. "Maya you're repressed. You're seeing it everywhere. Your Rice Crispies are not engaged in carnal acts." "You're overreacting!" "Eye for an eye. Sure it makes the world blind but around here there are spare eyes aplenty," she looked over at Eldrick,"Shall I drop off one Eld later for study?" Ritsuko smiled and waved it off,"Oh no. Standard issue 'have to see things for myself' disease that most scientists are afflicted with. Especially after what I saw on the monitor," she lazily pointed at a camera right about Kaworu's deveing point. "You're free to wander off now. This is a lady's lavatory. No need to hang out here MR. Tobin." He stepped back far enough to bow, and as he passed Gala he held out his hand and she jumped on. Cubey decided again that his head was the BEST place EVER to land. And out of the ladies room they went. "Finally... let's get out of NERV before I get groped AGAIN." "Oh I don't know I think Asuka is in a sundress today... you could pay the viewing fee. And there's Misato, and Hikari. We could watch Ritsuko and Maya." "They're...?" "Hard to say without watching. Probably testing the LCL and it's the closest restroom. And you wonder why I nearly exploded. The LCL just SINGS to your body and then you gotta go. NOW. Or there will be trouble. Oh yeah when's the last time you went, Volga Boatman?" He paused... he didn't suddenly have to at the mention,"A while. Mon...ths? Wow." "Doesn't that worry you at all? All the eating... no expulsion." "But I feel... more powerful than ever." "Ah... Mal was wondering if things were like Star Trek and people only went when you weren't watching. Must be hell on bridge crew. 'Number one!' 'Sir? Oh... someone get the Captain a mop... he's been on camera for 3 solid hours. And someone take over for me... gotta run!'" "Disturbing if funny." "What's more disturbing. Body fluids... or the fact I'm buck naked and you aren't oggling." He held up the oars for emphasis,"I'm rowing. This is not an SUV and you aren't a cell phone and even if you were I'd have to do one or the other. Besides you typically haven't wanted me to look before." "Eh might as well. I mean you wanna engage in some wild boning I'm sure. So what going for something from Alice in Wonderland?" "Well... have you been where this boat goes?" "I portal. Just like you." "Ah-ha well it's grand opening time." "I've been to the lab." "True that's on the... well there it is... but no. The path continues." "To?" "Look around." "I see knockoff sunlight. As usual." "And the water?" "Sa...lt? Impressive. I guess. So we're off to Fanservice Island?" "Just a beach I added. Not some 'Fanservice Island.'" "There will be sex on it one day so it's Fanservice Island." "I yield." And then they pulled up on the sandy expanse... the walk up to the Elevator shaft was impressive multicolored seashells, hermit crabs, starfish, and other seashore denizens scampered and skuttled. The air was salty and nice. You even kinda baked from the heat. The seagulls calling were not canned music, and had nests out on buoy's and an artificial dead pier full of wooden uprights out of the water. "I'm thinking of Placing some trees near the Elevator shaft to make it." "Naw just disguise it as a Lighthouse." "Good thinking." Gala sighed,"Why am I helping?" "It's a good suggestion anyway." "So since I wanna swim... tada?" "Oh I wasn't bringing you here. Though here is nice I'm happy to hear." "So where to?" "Down," the elevator door opened,"Care to have a look?" "No Dueling Platforms involved?" "None." "I had no plans let's go. What floor is this?" "Well I better call it Fanservice Island. I was going to call it..." "Bob?" "Rupert actually." "At least it's not Darsh Beach. Or Darth Beach. Say why's he so quiet?" "He has company." Gala made the oral pleasure face. "Gah I dunno." "'Gah'? That weird seeing me do that huh? One minute you're wedding bells practically. Next you're John Chastity, Pastor." "I'm in tourguide mode sorry." "Oh it's alright. Just don't get Vanna White on me with little poses. OR 'We're walking we're walking and now we're stopping.' Bleah." "Gods I hope not," he hid the buttons and the Elevator descended. "A secret?" "You're the First to See." "YOUR idea or Ami's?" "Both. While she was joking about ..." "I heard Toshu." "Right." "Typically made out of leaves rather than cotton anyway." "Ah. Easy to replace when their feet get bigger then." PING and they passed the next apartment level. PING and the doors opened on... a fantastic hotspring... well the the hallways next to the locker rooms. Eld stepped out and the elevator slid closed like it just might the be shoji screen on a broom closet. "This is because ... everyone's using the pool for this stuff." "Noise level too high?" "Not enough room more like it. Imagine everyone at the pool. What water?" "Eh you're pool is huge though." "But still..." he started. "You wanna ogle girls under the cover of boards or steam. Right." "That's not the reason. I want everyone to be happy." "Even the guests?" "This house currently has no guests. Only Residents that can come and go as they see fit. Stay for a week stay for a lifetime." "The More the ... jigglier right?" "There's a concrete retaining wall that can be raised and lowered to further obscure the baths." "You're kidding." "Nope." "But What about say... Joy? She demands to be ogled." "Then you lower the wall." "And if I'm bathing with Joy and don't WISH to be ogled as well? Devil's Advocate and humor me... and stop making eye contact to avoid ogling. Makes you look crazed! And don't give off blush and turn away shy body language either. It's honest but this isn't... well actually this MIGHT BE a dating sim." "With one target?" "Sex is a noble goal... to some," Gala caught herself fast. She thought the story was BULLSHIT and STANK OF OFFAL and [They get the idea - Potty Watch Zin] .o(They really should just tell him, and console him again. And needle him on it till ... well knowing him he'd go mental...)o. Eld's big face an inch from her was thought bubble snap worthy,"Yeah?" "You didn't hear me when I mentioned the Margo Field?" "Not a word." "Well all bathers have a Default Margo Field. Thick Steam, random vines, you name it... whatever seems convenient. If like I imagine Joy will... you want it off you have to turn it off. For when you're in mixed company IE those wanting the FIELD versus betting ogled... their's the wall. There's even complete obscuration for when no one wants the wall up... but one feels that the field isn't enough. Entertaining Service versus just Fanservice." "You told me the longer version because I didn't listen right?" "Bingo." "I'll pay more attention. so... standard amenities? Wetbar..." "Hover basins... ever full basins of hot or cold... strong supply of towels of all sizes... other beverages..." "Signs saying how to pose when drinking I'm sure. Any alarms for when the wrong gender is on the wrong side?" "The Offender(s) are fully visible while their 'quarry' are fully obscured. This way those obscured can decide what to do. Eject to the other side... or allow the intrusion... or just some allow the intrusion while the others complete their bathing." "Did that for Joy or... in case you find yourself on the wrong side and expect to get ejected?" "I am a weak person. The Eject is to launch me back over the wall." "To avoid say... Kanaetalina's loving grip?" "I was meaning if some perv comes over me and I sneak over." Gala flicked his nose,"Oh you know it's your emergncy escape. No need to hide it." "Well if we had guests... that aren't expectant of the perversion levels here... it's a needed precaution." "Ah so if Lady Funaho was over... the button is to keep you from deveing?" "That would be one example." "And if Rei is over... the button on the men's side is for Kaworu to launch you into the side with Rei right? Perv Volleyball." "That's a weird suggestion." "How rough is the landing?" "Not Very... it's a deterant... not a bone breaker." "Good to know." He looked at her inquisitively and she'd already pushed the button for the next floor. He had to look away fast and grab a small towel for her. "Ah thought you weren't looking." "You're bottom has an ogle magnet. Almost got whiplash trying to look away in time." "Heh. I'v seen you trussed up like a Boomer undergoing hardware refits... ogling my butt should be part of the fee." "I should ask first though." "Ah saving it for the honeymoon? Ha!" She flit into the elevator while wrapping in the latest Kintaro fashion. "Get in here we're not getting younger." "There's a few more floors to show you." "Not a problem." He keyed the next sequence, which also opened the sequence to being explored at all. PING and they passed the next apartment level. PING and the doors opened on... the forest level. Eld quirked an eyebrow,"This... was supposed to be a floor lower... probably another error... teach me to have too many ideas for a floor and probably have each template trying to load at once." "So... before I go fangirl ballistically happy... what WAS this supposed to be?" she quivered with suppressed glee. "A night themed floor. Maybe stargazing... crickets... gentle hills and a babbling brook. I think I was also thinking of maybe a park... or maybe a..." he shut up,"I think you see the problem." "Ah the 3 wishes phenominon. First and Second Wishes are just want you want... and thus... you don't know what to do with the 3rd wish. So Fun Level 5 you've probably nailed... and 1-3 as well. BUT 4 elludes you." "Well 1,2,4, and 5" "I like this HERE." "Yes ma'am," he smiled. "Good... now... you promise to not speak of my activities in the next few moments. Promise." "You're about to go from grumpy to cute in 0.000000001 seconds aren't you?" "Promise first. And step out of the elevator I can feel it listening in." So he did so and the doors closed... revealing a simple broad magestic tree... like what might give you mission in a Legend of Zelda Game... that was a little too shiny but... would pass cursory inspection. "And I promise not to relate anything that happens here without permission from you on pain of torture." "Good enough," she replied a little too quickly,"And Yes," she then took a deep series of breathes, "OHMYGODDESS! THISISSOCOOLICAN'TBELIEVEIT!! WOWIT'SPERFECTANDEVERYTHING! ICAN'TBELIEVEYOUWEREBEHINDTHIS! ANDYETYOUMUSTHAVE! OHANDLOOKATTHISHEREANDLOOKIETHERE!! OHMYGODDESSOHMYGODDESSOHMY_GODDESS!_" She was literally a BLUR... from the canopy down to the ground level and picking up a leaf that she wore as a hat for all of a second before flinging out of sight and then back... splashing in the water like a little girl in gollashes... before settling down in that water after a dive and surface. She only said,"What am I going to do with you?" "Taking to the trees?" "Are you a tree?" "Not last I checked." "Well you could secretly be Juraian so I guess you might still be a tree. Anyway I'm trully at a loss." "You like the forest right?" "I love it. I'm sure you didn't just swipe it from somewhere. BUT I know this was almost natural planting. You didn't alter time in here to grow it all in days or something?" "I've secretly been buying the trees from Forestrunner Gnomes." "And you planted them well. They're really happy with the arrangement." "Seemed more natural this way. Besides I had help so it was easier." "Forestrunner Gnomes helped with this? Incredible." "No... well she can explain it," he cupped his hands to his mouth," Nee-chan! Doko?" [Sis! Where (are you)?] "Astrala?" "Huh?" "You always call her sis." "Well... that's..." "A Fetish thing." "Yeah." "And Nee-chan?" [Sister] "You'll recognize her. She speaks better Japanese than I do by far." "Glad I don't suck at it then." "When did you learn?" "You aren't my first otaku assignment." A head of hair announced a face popping around a tree,"Nii-chan? Okaeri, Nii- chan!," [Brother? Welcome back, brother!] the face smiled. Gala forgot the towel as she flew out of the water adn around the visitor,"Eld is this?" her voice cracked. "You're daughter? Yeah." "Wow... she's tall. Did the Japanese take over the future?" "Gala... from the game." Gala looked dumbstruck,"That should have occured to me first." "Nii-chan?" [Brother] The youth looked around Gala for a second. Eld smiled,"'ka-san" [Informal: Mother] he replied pointing at Gala. She looked over again shocked. He nodded. She nodded back. She massaged her throat and placing her gardening gear aside she stepped back and bowed,"I am pleased to meet you, Motha." Eld 'whispered' a correction,"Mother." "Hai... pleased to meet you, Mother. Have you been... well?" She glanced at Eld who gave her a Gala-hidden thumbs up. Gala in tears nodded,"Watashi wa genki." [I'm am full of vigor/energetic... [Probably used genki instead of kenkou (well) for more of a familiar-with-the-addressed feel. - Translator Zin]] "I am glad, Mother," she rubbed her head,"Kore wa katai no desu." [This is hard ['This is badly written' works too.]] Gala shook her head,"Iie," [No.] she corrected before she flew over and hugged her daighter's cheek,"Omedetou, watashi no saiai musume." [Congratulations, my beloved daughter.] "Thank you Eld." "She was beginning to tell when it was just the computer anyway. Like sticking a kid infront of a TV. It was Darsh's idea to drag her through my head onto Campus and then out. She kept getting distracted and trying to go looking for you." "Glad you two kept her on the path." "Well Darsh had to be bribed." "Ah that's why he's physically engaged." "Basically." "And why Brother? Why not father?" "Well I forgot how to say uncle..." "Why not father?" "Well... she's Jubei's. I'm not Jubei. She's more YOURS than your characters however. So you're her mother." "Washuu had said..." The Daught pointed at herself,"Not Washuu. Now Ai-chan. Like Mother." "Gah you're going to make me pop from the cuteness," Gala kissed her cheek,"Explain the plothole, Eld." "Well the reason "Celestial Bamboo" 'Stuck' for the server is that other world properties were apparent. It just got 'Fey' and 'Outsider' mixed up. You," he pointed to emphasize her herself not her game chara,"are probably Outsider Fey to the server so it panicked and just agreed, with the Chibi Professor." "And she stopped aging why?" "It's been a year for her. Like you said with the leaves." "Ah nice and explained. Except for one thing." "And that is?" "For confusing me ... you must accept what I'm about to say without question." "Can I agree after you say it?" "If you like." .o(But it'll be too late.)o. "Ai-chan?" she said addressing her daughter. "Hai?" She smiled and pointed at Eld,"'to-san." [Informal: Father] Eld's eyes went wide enough to fit in planets. Ai looked over,"Nii-san... desuka?" Gala shook her head,"'to-san." She smiled sweetly at the afflicted Eld,"Neh?" Eld looked defeated,"Hai." Ai just smiled like she knew all along and spread her arms out. Gala smiled wickedly,"Bow to the cuteness, Eld. Family Hug." Eld came over and suffered a near crushing by his half- Pearl Spirit Celestial, half-Bamboo Spiritfolk who was somehow also pixie tossed in there SOMEWHERE daughter. He felt Gala kiss his cheek. "So you've been buttering me up for this right?" "Basically." "So if I wanted another child..." "Do you?" "I'll think about it..." UPSTAIRS and indeed all over the house on monitors and displays etc,"afterall... I'm already part of a big wonderful family. Even if they are mostly Deviants and Screwballs." ~Fin~ =0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0==0= "Cast" Addendums Ai Hansawa - - Daughter of Kensai Jubei Hansawa and Lady Aika Suzuki. Brought out of the Server -for her safety- by Mock Dark Schneider after heavy bribing along a similar course to what happened to Peer Kentaro. Minus looking like Forte. =0==0==0==0==0=